No big deal.. It's just my cervix.

Having abdnormal paps isn't unusual or uncommon, especially with me. Consistently, my downstairs has spewed out bad cells from my very first pap smear experience. I've always just gone to my regular family doctor for my womanly checkups, and the results were always "Well, they're abdnormal but not abnormal enough for us to be concerned. Come back next year." No problem, no worries, I just have a dysfunctional cervix.

After my third baby, the cells were a bit more abnormal than previous so I had a regularly scheduled 6 month follow-up pap. Those results came back even worse than the last test. My doc recommended a gynocologist to do a colposcopy, which caught me off guard cuz my results have never been anything to worry about; they've just been a little on the "different" side of the spectrum.

Well, whatever, this is my second colposcopy I've had in my short life so I'm not new to the procedure. After the first colp came back still terrible five years ago, they did cryosurgery to freeze the bad cells. Knowing that this colp would likely come back terrible I did my research on the wonderful Web and became terrified. When I got called in to the actual lady gyno's office to discuss my results and options, I knew what she was going to say and what my options were. She said the results between the colp and two recent paps were phenominally different, the cells were increasingly severely precancerous. On a scale of 4-0, 4 being cancer, my cells were a 3 and high 2. The only options were to either do a LEEP procedure or leave it alone and let it become cancer. She explained to me what I already knew about the LEEP procedure and we set a date for the surgery.

The LEEP is the most barbaric procedure I've ever known! I mean, to cut off the ENTIRE BOTTOM of a lady's cervix and be talking so nonchalant is beyond me. How terrifying! I don't know about you, but I think my cervix is pretty important! My gyno removed the entire first centimeter (a cervix is typically 5cm's in depth total) of the entire bottom of my cervix. A lot of things prior to the surgery got on my nerves- they kept changing various aspects of the surgery and I had to talk to four different receptionists and nurses from two different offices to get information fixed that had been messed up.. but then when I had just been shot up through my IV with Perkaset and they were wheeling me down the hall to have my downstairs mutilated, the nurse asked me if I'd ever had a LEEP done before... First of all, shouldn't they know from the pages of research I had to fill out for them?; Second, we're talking about a 5cm cervix! How much more could they really take off if I'd already had one?? Scares me.. It reminds me of the other night when I was making a homemade pizza and the dough kept breaking with holes and shallow spots... Not a pleasant image when I think of my cervix!

So, the surgery was fine, I wasn't in nearly as much pain as I thought I would be. My boyfriend and infant son were waiting for me in my recooperating room when I got back- both sleeping soundly. I was wide awake after coming out of my anesthesia. All I kept thinking about was remembering that I had signed a paper that said the surgery center promised to "properly dispose of my tissue". I wondered what they could possibly do with bad cervix tissue anyway-- If they tried to clone me it would come out looking like a cyclops baby born to a mother who tripped acid the entire pregnancy, I would imagine... 

Now I just wait for the results of my amputated cervix.

The procedure has made me realize that I can't wait to be done with the bleeding/discharge that comes afterwards. I bought pads for the first time since I was 13 because I can't insert tampons or anything for two weeks.. Of course I would end up purchasing my very own inflatable vagina rafts! These things are so long they touch the top of my underwear in the front AND the back! What amuses me is that they have sticky pieces for me to attach to my undies... Seriously, where is this thing going?? Sticky squares are necessary here??




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