No Excuses

The holiday season has been thrust upon us whether we were ready or not! And many of us are thwarted with the duty of attending the annual Holiday parties and festivities. It’s one of those things I dread, the schmoozing, the small talk, and the awkward pauses in conversations.

Some people have the cocktail party down to an art form. I envy the way they can glide across the room, smile, have the art of conversation down to a science, and fail from teetering over in their heels. I’m not so fortunate, I ask a lot of questions, to  deviate from the dreaded question of what do you do, and hide at the buffet table any chance I get!

However, this last weekend something changed, I met a spitfire of a lady, she was intelligent, smart, and funny. The first question she asked me was, “What do you do?”

I took a breath, “I stay home with the kids. You know when we moved here it was just hard to find child care, and we decided it was best for everyone that I stay home.”

She looked at me, ” Don’t make excuses! Your stay at home mom and there is nothing wrong with that!”

I thought to myself maybe I was making excuses for myself. I blushed and said “You are right!”

She confided, “I was a stay at home mom for years. It was great! I loved every minute of it! And I see the investment I’ve made in my children everyday. Work comes and it goes. But your children are always there!”

I looked at her, “You are right! And I love being home with the kids. It’s a really fun age and we get to do so much together.”

“That’s the important thing! Don’t feel guilty that your stay at home mom. Enjoy it!”

It was after, I had this conversation with this spirited individual, I realized she was right. I was making excuses, but why? Is it the way some people cringe when you tell them your stay at home mom? Or perhaps, the look of judgement that comes across their face?  It’s all of those cues I look for in people when I tell them I’m a stay at home mom.

 At that moment I decided to take this woman’s advice and I no longer make excuses for myself. Now,  every time someone asked me the dreaded question of – what do you do?

I respond on cue with  “I’m a stay at home Mom! And I love it!”

I’ve noticed when I say this to  the new people I’ve been meeting  that  some people smile with relief, because they are too, some people tense up, possibly judging me, and others just don’t care.

I’ve also decided if you don’t like my response suck it! It’s my life, it’s my choice, and I love my life!  At some point, I will go back to work but just not now.

I love being with my kids, watching them grow, and I want to be there every step of the way. They are an important investment  and I plan to invest every piece of my heart into their bright futures.


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