No More Pencils! A Quiz for Stressed Out Moms

Not a day goes by lately when I’m not offered some type of test or quiz on Facebook. What Princess are You? What Animal are You? What Flower are you? These are a few examples of  quizzes my online friends have asked me to take this week.

With the school year coming to an end in less than a month here in New York, I decided to come up with a quiz that moms really need: Just how over the school year are you?

I understand that you may feel you don’t need a silly quiz to tell you that you’ve had your fill of science projects and math homework. But moms are busy, especially at this time of the year. You may not know whether your stress level just requires a few deep breaths and a cup of tea, or if you are in full overload mode that only a girl’s night out or week in Hawaii will relieve.

Answer the following questions as honestly as you can.

 

When you see paper cups in the supermarket you think:

  1. What a waste of precious resources, why does anyone need to use paper cups?
  2. Paper cups, paper cups, I need paper cups for my daughter’s Flat Stanley party tomorrow.
  3. Paper cups!! Sh*% I was supposed to send in the cups for my daughter’s Flat Stanley party today.
  4. Oh paper cups. Damn. Wasn’t I supposed to send in cups last Friday for my daughter’s Flat Stanley party? Or am I supposed to bring the cups for her end-of-the-year soccer party tomorrow? Maybe it was for her end-of Friendship Club party on Wednesday? Or was it for the save-the-rainforest party on Friday? Why do we have to bring in paper cups for that party anyway? Isn’t that just a waste of precious resources?

 

The sight of a backpack stuffed to the brim with a year’s worth of drawings, paintings, and school work makes you:

  1. Thrilled that your child had such a great year. You can’t wait to add them to your collage that you are working on to surprise them for the end of the year.
  2. Roll your eyes a bit. But you’re glad to see the work your kids have made. You pick one or two to put on the fridge.
  3. Put the backpack in a closet, you’ll worry about it later. (Later comes when the smell of the lunch your kid didn’t eat seeps throughout the house)
  4. “Accidentally” throw the whole thing out. When asked for the location, feign ignorance. You won’t have to feign much–by the time anyone mentions it, you’ll have forgotten the backpack.

 

Your child gives you one more form to fill out. You…

  1. Fill it out with all the appropriate information and promptly return it.
  2. Roll your eyes, sigh a bit, and silently use a few choice words. Then fill it out and send it back.
  3. Put the form in your papers-to-be-signed folder and hope for the best.
  4. Take the form, turn it into a paper crown, and sing “I Feel Pretty.”

 

Answer Key:

If you have mostly 1s, congratulations, you’re at the peak of your game. You have either just had a vacation, have kids who aren’t yet in school, or they have fur on them and walk on all fours.

If you have mostly 2s, you’re ready for the year to be over but are hanging on. Grab a cup of herbal tea to celebrate that you survived another year.

If you have answered mostly 3s, you’re coming to your breaking point. You’re in need of a serious girl’s night out. Quickly grab a few harried looking moms from the carpool lane and get your freak on.

If you have answered mostly 4s or were the one who actually wrote the quiz, you’re in a need of a more intensive cure. Beg your friend, sister, husband, or mother to take the kids, and run away with some of your friends for the weekend. Or in my case, head out to a blogging conference with women you know only online and meet them in person. You might even learn a thing or two.

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