No Pay? No Way!
Here I go again on the conventions of dating in modern times. Is the whole "the guy
should NOT let the girl pay on a first date" mentality now antiquated?
Or is it influenced by geographic or cultural origins? I've never run
into this issue before I lived in New York, but now all of a sudden I'm
confused. I've been on dates with lots of very different guys since I
moved here, and some have adamantly refused to let me pay when the
check comes, while others don't give the slightest objection when I
pull out my wallet. Still another had the gall to bring up the subject
DURING the date, claiming he didn't know whether he was supposed to
argue with a girl when she offered to pay, because some women seemed to
think it was an old-fashioned idea to let the guy pay for everything.
Are there really such women out there ruining it for the rest of us? Or
was that guy just a cheapskate, trying to get me to fork over some
dough for the bill?
I went on 2 "first dates" this past week, with 2 different guys, ages 30 and 33, respectively, from 2 different
countries outside the U.S. The first one protested as soon as I reached
into my purse - both at bill time AND when the cab dropped me off at my
apartment. (He even rode with me, out of his way, to make sure I got
home ok! Talk about a gentleman.) The second? Handed me some cash when
I pulled out my debit card - just enough to cover his share, and ONLY
his. No discussion ensued. Fine, I thought, then this little outing
we're on does NOT qualify as a genuine date, and consequently I will
NOT engage in any non-platonic physical contact with you, regardless of
what moves you make. I was put off by this lack of consideration, but I
hate to admit that it was a catalyst for me to once again question my dating expectations.
And so I ask: Does the guy paying the check on a first date depend on his
geographic origin, cultural background or age? Is there a good excuse
for him letting the woman pay? Am I too traditional for urban dating?
Or do some men just need a good whack on the head with a loaded wallet?
Somebody please clarify this issue for me! (Bonus points if you're a
guy and/or from another country - namely Romania, Ghana, Korea or
anywhere in South America.)