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In today’s work world, few of us will work long enough at one company to warrant a retirement party, including me. (Although I did have two nice send-offs after I left my last job after a 9 ½ year tenure, the longest time I’d ever worked for one organization.) Several mid-lifers I know have worked long-enough at one company to be in line for a retirement party.
Then came the recession.
The recession has meant that several of my friends and family members are being laid-off after decades of service without the retirement party or goodbye they thought they’d get (to say nothing of the pension).
Not ever expecting such a party, this wasn’t something I thought about until two things happened in the past year.
One was a paltry, tired, poor-excuse of a send-off I attended. It was for a woman I’d met when the foundation at which she worked funded a project I coordinated. The foundation was at one of the major Boston newspapers for which she worked for more than 40 years. Even though she was a victim of lay-offs, a good-bye party was thrown for her. It was such a poor excuse for a party that, in my opinion, it might as well not have been held. There was a cash bar, meager and pedestrian finger-food (not grand enough to be called hors d'oeuvres)and a generic and cheap gift.
This woman was a diligent and hard worker, the type large institutions rely on. She accepted the gift and well-wishes with the grace for which she is known but I felt bad for her. She deserved more. The paper should have featured a story about her and her service to the organization at the very least.
The second thing that happened involved my husband who was invited to a colleague’s retirement party at the public school system where he works. He gets invited to at least 2-3 of these every year. Last year, however, the invite brought up sadness for him because it came shortly following a lay-off notice, after 26 years of service.
“I guess I’ll never get a retirement party,” he said quietly, then put the invitation down and walked away.
“Wow,” I thought. Then I swallowed, went and sat with him. We ended up having quite a conversation about service, professionalism and how a lay-off disavowed the fact that one had been a loyal and good employee. Other issues that came up included feeling like the space one had worked in was covered up instantly without a backward glance by the institution. Initiatives he had started or brought to fruition would mostly depart with him. We discussed the brain drain and void in historical knowledge that remained at the institution. (We also discussed money, health care coverage, etc.) But, as much as anything, the idea of not having a gathering where colleagues would trade stories, share memories and send him off positively into his retirement years hurt.
No parties, send-offs, celebrations, acknowledgement-gatherings accompany lay-offs.
Sometimes people have to vacate or are escorted from their offices immediately with time only to pack up their office. Other times, one is a “dead person walking” having to work for weeks or even months with no real authority. In some ways, this is the worst way to leave.
Another teacher who had to take an early retirement shared how she expected that someone with her experience, accolades, and knowledge would find another position quickly. Nearly four years later, this hasn’t been the case and she’s had to string together consulting gigs when she can get them. Yet another former colleague who had a consulting practice and pulled in six figures, hasn’t been able to get a paying job in nearly a year.
Others of us are working beneath our abilities at far less than the salaries our skills and experience warrant (mostly eagerly because “something is better than nothing”)
It is devastating to be pushed out of place (and relevance) when you are vital and have knowledge, creativity and ideas to share (to say nothing of still need to earn a living.)
At each stage of life, one has to fight the boxes that society will try to make us fit: too old, too young, too much experience, not enough experience. We have to raise our voices for full-employment lest it be suggested, as one blogger did on a recent post here at BlogHer that we baby-boomers leave our jobs to make room for younger people to be employed (linked below).
My
