Elder language matters

Welcome to the new “Elders” section of the BlogHer community, a blog about aging for people of all ages.

In the few places where getting old is discussed in terms other than masking it, old people are most frequently referred to as seniors and senior citizens. I ditched those words from day one on my blog, because through overuse they have become as pejorative as biddy, fogey, coot, geezer, fossil and other terms of un-endearment perpetrated by our culture’s youth and beauty police.

The cutesy labels - golden-ager, third-ager, oldster - and mature too - are worse because, like all euphemisms, they shroud and distort meaning. It is a form of thought control as all governments know: “Collateral damage” doesn’t conjure mental pictures of bloody, mangled bodies the way “dead civilians” does. Similarly, those who hide behind golden-ager and other tortured circumlocutions hope others who read or hear their words will not think sags, bags and wrinkles that are the normal outcome of a long life.

So instead, I used such phrases as old person, older people, the old, etc. on my then-new blog and made it a test of my own commitment to exploring what getting old is really like to always refer to myself as old. I was 63 then (65 now) and at first, I flinched each time I wrote it. Few of us voluntarily admit to being old; it is almost un-American.

I stuck to my vow to avoid all euphemisms for old and surprise! Before too many weeks had passed, it felt as neutral and merely descriptive of a stage of life as “young” does when that adjective is aptly applied. Old had lost its negative connotation - for me, if not the culture at large. Repetition works, as all advertisers know.

Under the influence of the best book in print on aging (What Are Old People For? by William H. Thomas, M.D.), I occasionally dropped “elder” into my blog when I needed a synonym. It’s an old-fashioned word, hardly used anymore except in reference to tribal leaders. But I thought it was in need of resurrection and that it could be updated to mean, in addition to its inherent suggestion of wisdom, simply “old person”.

Then, one of the BlogHer co-founders Elisa Camahort, who is also a wordsmith extraordinaire, invited to me speak at SXSW in Austin early this year on a panel she had titled Respect Your Elderbloggers. It was an Aha! moment for me. The perfect word - like mommybloggers for women who blog about raising children – to describe bloggers of about 50 and older.

Now, in the months since last April, when I browbeat a reporter for The New York Times into using the word in the headline of a story about older bloggers, elder and elderblogger are being picked up by some others in mainstream media, by some bloggerss and by Chris Pirillo too in his bLaugh cartoon.

Language matters – a whole lot more than many people believe. Dr. Becca Levy of Yale University has been studying the effects of stereotyping on elders for many years:

“It turned out that people who had more positive views about aging were healthier over time,” wrote reporter Gina Kolata of Levy’s work in The New York Times recently. “They lived an average of 7.6 years longer than those of a similar age who did not hold such views, and even had less hearing loss when their hearing was tested three years after the study began…

“Still, Dr. Levy and others say it can be difficult to resist the pervasive stereotypes of aging. Many people may accept them without realizing it.

“’Then they become a self-fulfilling prophecy,’ Dr. Levy said."

In other words, prejudice against elders and negative stereotypes can making people sick and even kill them before their time.

We live in a profoundly ageist culture. One way to help change that is to change the language we use, and I’m grateful to the Blogher co-founders, Lisa Stone, Elisa Camahort and Jory Des Jardines, for allowing me this space and for agreeing to name this new topic “Elders.”

Contributing Editor Ronni Bennett also blogs at Time Goes By, What it’s really like to get older.

Comments

Older Than What?

Good middle of the night,

A previous blogger suggests that language is important and that the application of language to the ages of people who have lived a long time can be humorous or tedious at times. 

When I hear the term Older Woman, my next thought is older than what?  This is not clear communication.

The Texas Department of Health defines a person fifty-five years of age as elderly.  My goodness, they haven't even reached the arbitrary retirement age of sixty-five.

I agree that language matters when clear communication is the goal, and that "Communication is one of our greatest challenges." 

With so many terms that can be applied to living a long time, I celebrate the creative use of language.  Senior Citizen may be an insult to some and a badge of respect for others.  Many of the terms used are examples of a living language that allows us to  invent words that work for the individual or group. There can never be too many wonderful words in the world.

In graduate school, I wrote a paper suggesting that old be replaced with alive, when referring to people's age  I reasoned that you are either dead or alive.  I received an A on that paper.

I am 69 years alive.  While that may be too cutesy for some, it is as clear a statement as I can make. I am going to go play my ukulele now. ;-)

Good night,

Joyce

www.ukuleleuniverse.com

www.alohayall.net

www.texasukefest.com 

 

 

 

Welcome Ronni.

I'm going to enjoy reading your posts. Especially since your definition of an elder blogger (over 50) means you're writing for me!!

Debra
A Stitch In Time
Deb's Daily Distractions

 

Look forward to your posts

Welcome from another elderblogger! Looking forward to your writings on the site. And if anyone is wondering, I'm 57, and actually not feeling all that old at all.

Kalyn Denny
Kalyn's Kitchen

 

Yay!

As an "honorary elderblogger" (fast approaching 43, if anybody's counting) I think that Ronni's insight and wisdom will be as valuable here as they are at "Time Goes By".

And will Crabby Old Lady be making an appearance, perchance? ;)

 

So glad to have you, Ronni!

I vote for a few visits from Crabby too!

Jory Des Jardins
BlogHer
Personal Blog Pause

 

Thank you, Debra, Kalyn and

Thank you, Debra, Kalyn and Koan. I'm very pleased to be here.

And Koan: Crabby Old Lady is sitting in the corner grousing - something about extra work and doesn't she have enough to do already. But I suspect she'll get over it and sometime down the line she won't be able to resist having her say.

Ronni Bennett
Time Goes By

 

Welcome Dear Friend...

Just wanted to welcome you and Crabby to the Blogher Network. How nice it will be to visit you here and see what wise tidbits of insight you give us. Wonderful post Ronni.

Joy Des Jardins
Blogher
The Joy of Six

 

Yay!!!!!!!!!

Kay Dennison

It's wonderful to have you here, Ronni! I know I'll love your posts & look forward to them! And here's another request for Crabby to drop in now and again!
Hugs!!!!!!!!!! Kay

 

Adding my voice...

Welcome! I'm looking forward to your posts.

Although at 55, I also don't feel all that old. Since my mother is still going strong at 95, I'm still thinking of myself at middle-aged rather than old. She's the old one! ;-)

The Blog: Red Nose
The Book: Girl Clown

 

Addressing Elders

I think people who do not address elders with due respect ultimately expose their basic manners,their brought up and education etc.By raising this subject, you have done a great job.
"Half of the problems of mankind are due to ignorance and other half due to egotism"

gurushabad
gurushabad1.blogspot.com

 

Yes - Ronni - Language !

Am glad to find you here; that BlogHer is giving increased attention to those of us who can be considered as elders.

I might even think about attending the BlogHer Conference in '07 if they're going to have some focus sessions on issues you've brought forth on your "Time Goes By" blog.

I'm so pleased you're here, I signed on to be a BlogHer member.

Joared
Along The Way

 

Language

Ronni-I've been reading your time goes by blog via bloglines and have very quickly become a fan. Congratulations on being included at blogher. You're a fantastic addition. Blog on!

Lisa Dunn
Certified Senior Advisor
Realtor
Link Textwww.RealSageAdvice.com

 

Although I hold BlogHer's

Although I hold BlogHer's overall vision in high esteem, it's disappointing to me that once again they're endorsing a label for a group of bloggers. I know "mommybloggers" who chafe at that label because they don't like being thought of as ONLY mothers in terms of their blogging identity. Likewise, I find it disappointing that because "elder" is a term that feels comfortable for YOU, it's now (apparently, based on this post) the 'official' label for any BlogHer over 50. I don't know the genesis of the "mommyblogger" label, but what bothers me most about this "elderblogger" label is that it appears to have been decided on by a committee of one.

 

Actually, I think you can come up with your own term Marilyn

Hi Marilyn,

The challenge of picking words with which to organize this site has been great. Women are blogging about every conceivable topic and yet we do need a taxonomy with which to organize our blogs and find each other -- while giving a nod to how the community has already organized itself. In the case of parenting, for example, We decided to call the parenting section "Mommy and Family" after our first post-conference survey, when a number of women who had adopted the term mommyblogger stated a strong preference for including it.

That said, you are quite right that there are plenty of women on this site -- editors included -- who don't use the term mommyblogger. (Muthablogga is one hilarious sarcastic substitute I've seen used, for example; plenty of others have told me "I write about my life.") And, I see from your post, a person (and likely more than one) who doesn't like the term "elderblogging".

My recommendation? Do as Elisa and Ronni have done and create the term that works best for you. We're always interested in hearing new terms. And in the meantime, I'm happy to have a few short terms (Mommy & Family, Aging soon to be Elders) with which we can organize the site so we can find each other in the great wide Internet...

And particularly glad to have you here Ronni.

Best, L

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette

 

Re: Actually, I think you can come up with your own term Marilyn

To be honest, I don't understand the need for categories for this site. I much prefer the Yahoo! Groups way of doing things, i.e. no categories and a good search engine. Simple, works great.

Thanks Lisa,

-Bob
bobafifi.com

guitarbazaar.com

fluteplayer.net

 

Ease of discoverability

Actually, Bob, Yahoo Groups has categories, and you can browse them. See the Browse Groups list on this page. I can tell you that I have used the Browse by Group function many times when I'm doing research. Personally, I find browsing by categories most helpful when I don't know exactly what I'm looking for, but have a general direction I want to go in. It's narrowed down, but not too narrow, if that makes sense.

Elisa Camahort
BlogHer and Worker Bees
elisa@blogher.org/elisa@workerbees.biz

 

Re: Ease of discoverability

> Actually, Bob, Yahoo Groups has categories,
> and you can browse them.

Yes you're right. In it's entirety, Yahoo! Groups is divided into categories - BUT... an individual group doesn't have categories (sorry, I should have made it clearer) and that's what I was referring to.

I respectfully contend that a no-categories format powered by a good site search is a more logical/intuitive format and scales better too. People don't have to wonder what category to put something in, they just post. Want to find something? - just use the search. Easy.
(ex. http://www.google.com)

Another thing I like about Yahoo! Groups is the email send/reply functionality that it's software offers. If they want, users don't need to keep checking a group's site to see if anything new has posted - they can get it in their inbox instead. They can also post to the site simply by sending an email. Very convenient.

Unless I've missed it somewhere on this site, getting BlogHer posts and comments by email is not an option here yet, right?

While it's possible to use FeedBurner (http://www.feedburner.com/) to send a daily email of new posts on BlogHer using the RSS feed, the problem is that none of the comments - which I'd argue are key to the success of any forum - are included in that feed. Maybe someday?

Thanks Elisa,

-Bob
bobafifi.com

guitarbazaar.com

fluteplayer.net

 

Well, I'll be darned. A

Well, I'll be darned. A subject about which I know a lot. About. Age.

I just reminded myself that I have a birthday coming up pretty darn soon. I will be 76 years "young" on 29 December -- I used the word 'young' in that context on purpose because I cringe if anyone says it. It is such a dumb description, isn't it? Bleh.

It didn't take very long for me to realize my dad was quite pleased with my appearance on the 29th of December. I'm also sure he was happy with the gorgeous baby my mother presented to him, but what made him feel great was my timing. I made it into the world just in time for him to claim me as a tax deduction for the entire year of 1930. Yeah, he was a happy daddy.

I got my first computer seven years ago, wore that one out two years ago and now have updated the whole schmear. I started out with a "journal", just stories about me growing up and what kind of stuff I got involved with between my 16th and 49th birthdays. And now I use some space to store some older favorite blogs I didn't have the heart to delete. It's hard to be humble. I always used the splash page for political "stuff" but I'll get that going again sooner than we all would like....there's already talk about 2008---and I've just gotten the bad taste out of my mouth from the sleazy, ugly ads by candidates last month. Oy.

Then it was Blog-Time. And I spent a whole lot of hours a day at my peecee. It has become a terrible obsession. I think my readers -- especially the younger people -- are just beginning to realize there are a lot of "oldsters" out there who still manage to keep their brain cells functioning very well.

"~~~I don't know the genesis of the "mommyblogger" label, but what bothers me most about this "elderblogger" label is that it appears to have been decided on by a committee of one."

Make that a committee of two, if you also count me. I see nothing disparaging about a title of "mommyblogger" or "elderblogger" -- if that's what you are at this point in time. Altho I suppose even though my kids (daughters) are now 52 and 45 years old right now, I could still say I am a "mommyblogger", couldn't I? Of course I could. LOL

NO! Actually it would be more accurate to assign the title of "grammablogger" to me, I suppose. I sometimes refer to myself as having two "granddogs", with the arrival of Rosie, a shiny new kissy-face American bulldog adopted by my daughter and SIL. "Granddog" -- now that's pretty silly, right?

Me and the Cat
The Mousetrap

 

Imgage + Language of Aging

loretta donovan, worksmarts, new york

I've been involved with AARP's Women's Leadership Circle for 2 1/2 years - a project focused on how gals 50+ are envisioning and living their lives. The Imgage + Language of Aging is a big part of our work. Language is a big shortcoming - any words we already use have too much baggage to express the redefinition of the world of women. Thanks to all who are involved in this conversation here . . . to Ronni who has created a safe space . . . and to all the others who are perplexed and challenged by categories and terms that diminish the wonder of who we are.

In April there will be a Women's Leadership Circle Summit in Tucson, Arizona for women of all ages to explore the life issues of maturing women. Watch of more information about registration soon.

 

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