Very well said Jory. I think this is sadly often true. There are a few rare men who aren't really threatened by a woman who may be more talented or competent than they are, but not many. Women have come a long way, but lots of men haven't come very far at all.

(My apologies if this is perceived as a sexist generalization by some of the very interesting men who regularly read and comment on Blogher. Yes, it's sexist to lump men together like this. Unfortunately I'm just sharing my observations based on personal experience. There are exceptions, and lucky for the women who are able to find a man like that.)

Kalyn Denny
Kalyn's Kitchen

I second Kalyn's comments!

Although I also want to add that a few months ago, I wrote something here about the dramatic increase in the number of married women who, according to the Census Bureau or Dept. of Labor (can't remember), earn more than their husbands. We are rapidly approaching 50% of married women living in that situation. It is a huge change, and I hope that men (who, let's be fair, have mostly been raised to believe that they are failures if their wife earns more than them) are being socialized appropriately. I doubt it, as masculine stereotypes of protector and earner seem to be getting worse. Very sad and scary.

Suzanne, BlogHer Contributing Editor - Feminsim & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS)& Other Rants

With an article called Oscar and the Grouch.

"Behind every successful actress is a man...who was just leaving. What's with Hollywood guys whose better halves are really better?"

Sassymonkey, Sassymonkey Reads, and Sassymonkey Eats

Many years ago I got an odd fortune cookie at a Chinese restaurant. It read simply:

Behind every successful man there is always

Thanks Jory,

-Bob
bobafifi.com

guitarbazaar.com

fluteplayer.net

When my ex and I started dating... he was 5 years older, good solid job, etc. Two years later, I finished my degree and steadily increased my earnings. He was THRILLED to spend the money... but, once I added insult to injury and started a publication which spread my name and fame further than my own company... that's when he cheated.
Not saying if I'd stayed earning $5 an hour less than him instead of more, he would have remained faithful, but when I went to my girlfriends after I found out (all white-collar women previously married to blue-collar men) that they all had similar stories, and talked me through any clues/triggers.

:( I am remarried to a man in my own field. More experienced and currently has more earning power... but, he's still unemployed because of immigration issues. I shouldn't have to worry about something like that... but, I do nonetheless.

Melanie Perry
***not all who wander are lost***
Mistress of the Dorkness

You know, my husband says that, too -- that so far from being threatened if I became hugely successful, he would enjoy being a "kept man."

It'd be nice to think he meant it but how many men would come right out and say, "No, dear, if you started making a lot more money than me, I'd have to go find some young piece of ass with more stamina and less earning power than you."

And, to be honest, I suspect that most men really don't think they'll react in that Neanderthal way. It may even be that, if you were to ask Ryan Phillippe right this minute, he'd come up with all kinds of reasons why his marriage failed. Denial is a common human reaction to one's own imperfections.

Nobody truly knows how they'll react until they get there, do they?

Dawn

The Journal Blog
- where business and politics meet the mind of a wise-ass

Jory

Thank you for publishing this piece. I am using it as an example to disbelievers who say women have achieved equality in the workplace and there is no need for women's rights education. If it's true we've achieved equality, we seem to pay far too steep a price for it.

Morra
PS- although, let's look on the bright side- Britney DID leave K-Fed!

Speaking as the son of a nationally known, top-of-her-industry bad-ass woman, I have had a lot of experience dealing with a woman who is powerful.

I occasional brought up in school, when the "sexism keeps women down" arguments came up, that my mom decided to ignore those barriers by starting her own company, and now she is at the top of her game. My point is that some women decide they want it all, and they take it, so sexism is not keeping all women down. Yes, it is a problem, and yes, let's talk about it, but some women beat the shit out of sexism- let's talk about how they did that.

Whoever I am having this discussion with usually starts bitching more about sexism.

I think we can benefit from looking at how powerful women overcame barriers. Many students disagree.

But really, I am encouraging a change in the status quo. Stop bitching, start learning about why those women in power are there.

And here is where your post fits in, Jory. Are we as individuals, as communities, and as a society ready for having powerful women everywhere? Oprah, fine. She is one person. Martha Stewart, same deal.

But I think we may have a long way to go in accepting the basic reality that a)it is okay for women to be powerful and b)deal with it.

Someone reading this post is going to be thinking, it is all well and good that Brian's Mom was such a good example, but that doesn't help all the other women who are being oppressed by society, family structure, etc. To this I say, let's look at more examples of powerful women and how they got their.

And let's look at more family structures where the women are on top, and everything is a-okay.

Brian blogs about client services in internet marketing