It's good to be single

BlogHer Original Post

It seemed fitting to start the Singles category off right, with a celebration of single life. Happiness doesn't rest on being single – everyone has a right to be happy whether they're single, in a relationship, looking for a partner, or not – but I'm really glad we have the freedom to choose the status that works best for us.

Why do I like being single? I like making my own decisions. My spare time is my own. I can sit around and look like a slouch, without having to worry about looking good for anybody else. I don't have to share my closet with anyone. If my apartment is clean, it stays that way; if there's a mess, it's my own. (The day might arrive when someone comes along and blows these good reasons out of the water – but until then, I'm sticking with this.)

What are other people saying? We'll start with a few reactions to the much-discussed census data in the New York Times article. In a post entitled "Single women are [...] very common and not particularly unhappy about that," Amanda says:

They don’t call it "wedlock" for no reason. The article is actually pretty fair-minded towards women who haven't got any good reason to be lured out of the single life into marriage, presenting them as reasonable people who are making rational choices, instead of the usual portraying of single women as either desperate or selfish, castrating bitches.

Kris says that being single doesn’t mean a person is unattractive or boring.

News flash: Not all currently single women over the age of 25 share Gollum’s charming features or are polydactyl…We are charming and cute and loving and some of us even have breasts and cool hobbies like blogging and drinking and playing hide and seek with our cats.

BlogHer contributing editor Liz Rizzo shared a few reasons why she enjoys being single. I especially liked this one:

I'm beyond thankful that I am not in a messed up, miserable relationship and that I never did get married. I've used my time in singlehood as an opportunity to grow and figure things out, and it's been invaluable.

Kat says she’s tired of hearing all the “crap” and stereotypes about being single, and she has a list of “What I have learned about going solo.”

I personally relish the freedom of not having to worry about whether someone else likes it when I wear this or that outfit, or whether I meet their expectations. My self worth isn't tied into one person's opinion of me.

Bahrageous calls it “the new movement.” She hates it that people don’t believe her when she says she enjoys being single, and asks the question: “Why is it so hard for some people to accept when another person is happy to be alone?”

There's nothing wrong with me or anyone else that chooses to be single. We don't have herpes or multiple personalties or psychopathic mothers (mostly). We're just bucking the "norm".

And believe it or not......we're damn happy.

We're here. We're single. Deal with it.

Gabby says that being single is “the new social disease.” It’s seen as something that needs to be FIXED, rather than celebrated.

All these dating websites, all these personal ads, all these singles/couples’ events that clearly seperate the happily-ever-after from the “sad and lonely”, and all these stupid dating shows and all these [expletive] romance movies all permeate the world in total saturation with the message “that if you are single, you can’t possibly be happy”.

I’m single. And quite happily so.

But, as I noted, happiness doesn’t hinge on being single. Esther says it very well:

There are certainly women, especially those who are recently divorced and feeling free for the first time, who choose the single life. But those of us who choose not to marry the first person who asks (or who are stubborn enough to insist on waiting for someone who is actually appropriate and whom we love), are not choosing the single life. We're choosing life itself [emphasis mine].

Wrapping it up, I like this quote that I found on Life Far Away:

It's far better to be alone than to wish you were.

Contributing Editor Zandria also blogs at Keep Up With Me.


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