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OK, so my dreams came true this week...we actually got to see the finalists sing entire (abridged) songs. And I think I understand why they've been keeping us from them all this time: a lot of them really aren't that great! Oh, sure, they're not wretched like an early-episode American Idol contestant, but they're only OK. we can only hope that this was a case of Week 1 nerves, because I saw a whole lot of what Simon Cowell might have called "cabaret" or "karaoke" or "lounge" or "drunk guest at a wedding joining the band" performances!
We kick off with Billy "Bland Billy" Bush (who would earn the wrath of my S.O. and me all night long by assigning inane nicknames to each contestant...so I have returned the favor here) and Denise Van Outen, wearing something that resembled a Gunne Sax nightie.
We are then subjected to mud wrestling. Well, not really. But we were "treated" to a live re-enactment of the opening credits of this show...where are the Dannys and Sandys fight with each other for camera time, starring our 12 finalists in tacky outfits that mimic the final Danny & Sandy outfits in the movie.
I'd like to note that in response to my questioning whether, in fact, this contest could be rightfully said to feature the "biggest" prize on TV, they have now changed their messaging to be that it's the most "unique" prize on TV. OK. More believable.
Olivia Newton-John is on hand, and looking quite stunning really, to be a guest judge.
And we are introduced to the evening's format. they will have two contestants go one after the other, after we see a brief clip about them. They are then spoke to by the panel, but there is in fact no comparison or judging one against the other, so it's a bit odd to go two by two as they are.
And Billy "Bland Billy" Bush will give his nicknames to each contestant in an oh-so-unctuous-and-not-at-all-charming way. Sometimes I thought of better nicknames by the time the contestant was done, though, which I will be hypocritical and share!
So, let's get to it...first with the Dannys
1. Derek (aka "Wholesome Danny") sang Crazy Little Thing Called Love
Now, my nickname for Derek might have to be "Homophobic Danny", considering his weird, smirking statement that being in musical theatre wasn't what his dad "had in mind for his son", but that he supported him anyway. Gag!! I also think they should re-think the "wholesome" label, given how many pelvic gyrations Derek threw into his performance. Derek looks like a younger John Stamos (and side note: isn't John Stamos much hotter now as a grown-up?) and gave his all, but unfortunately he gave his all into a lounge-y performance. It's hard not to do with this song, I know, so pick a different more original song. OK, but cheesy.
2. Austin (aka "Hot Danny") sang Mony Mony
Billy "Bland Billy" Bush declared that he named Austin "Hot Danny" himself, and I thanked him for sharing. Now, I expected a lot from Austin, as he is the one who has been positioned to be the guy with the most professional experience. but Oh. My. God. I couldn't decide whether he was channelling a Chippendale or some of the dancing girls in Flashdance. It's not like this song gave him a chance to show off range either...I mean Billy Idol sang it, so you know it only covers about a 5 note range. I actually really like the song. I just don't think it's a great one to show off vocal prowess. And since he used it to show us he could be a stripper of either gender, I don't think it proved his dancing prowess either. which lead me to re-nickname Austin as "Disappointing Danny."
3. Twist Alert!! Matt (aka "Second Chance Danny") sang Pretty Woman
Yes, the producers brought back two of the rejected Grease Academy-ites to have another try, and Matt the jock was the Danny they brought back. I'm not surprised they chose him. If you recall I actually thought he'd be in the final 12. But, oh, is my (and the producers') face red!! He pretty much sucked wind, poor guy. Tuneless, excruciating, really really nervous and uncomfortable. He might squeak by because he is such a great visual type for the role, but he really doesn't deserve to. Call him "Out-of-his-depth Danny."
4. Jason (aka "Boy Band Danny") sang Faith
So, they finally reveal to us that Jason, too, has professional experience, having appeared in