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Rita Arens authors Surrender, Dorothy and Surrender, Dorothy: Reviews. She is BlogHer.com's senior editor.  Her parenting anthology and BlogHer'...
 
 
 
 

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Looking Out, Looking In: Parenting and Body Image

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Parenting is bigger than Barney. There are 33 pages of blogs in BlogHer's Mommy and Family blogroll and 59,833 blogs that use Technorati's "parenting," "mommy" or "daddy" tags. In 2007's blogosphere, the politics of parenting are well documented.

Hillary Clinton famously wrote, "it takes a village to raise a child." I'd say it also takes a village to raise a parent, and today more than ever before, that village is available to anyone with an Internet connection. I'll be posting once a week to bring you highlights of the ongoing conversation on parenting.

For my first post, I looked to see what people are saying about a subject pertinent to me as the parent of one two-year-old, little redheaded girl: body image. Though body image concerns grow more relevant every year for boys, girls seem to take the brunt of it.

After a "pleasantly plump" childhood, a combination of circumstance and disposition launched me into a full-scale eating disorder by the time I was 17, and this was before Bratz and thongs for eight-year-olds.

Parents in the blogosphere are concerned about the influence of media and the retail monster on their little girls, too. They're not content to just talk, though -- many are encouraging their readers to stop store managers and complain when they see inappropriate products marketed to their offspring.

We're speaking out about our own body image and how that may impact our children, and I'm so relieved this discussion is underway. There may be something we can do about the barrage of perfection slamming our kids every day via magazines, billboards and the talky box. Check it out.

Izzy at IzzyMom kicked off the conversation for me in this aged but wonderful post about Bratz dolls and padded bras for tweens.

Meghan at My Dog Harriet has this to say about girls and body image.

Momsquawk writes about a 12-year-old who had liposuction to remove 35 pounds.

Two Knives quotes the Bratz founder in response to the parental uproar caused by his dolls.

Risa Green of Mommytrack'd worries when her daughter says she wants to grow up to be a movie star.

A lot of food for thought. Go on out there and tell a little girl she looks great just the way she is tonight.

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Marti 5 pts

Terrific post! my daughter is 17, and I worry all the time about how she feels about her body image. Thanks for writing such a great post! Best wishes to you here!

Marti ( http://enterthelaughter.com/ )

Goofy Girl 5 pts

We need more mothers of daughters like you! The world would be a better place. For everyone.

cce 5 pts

I, too, suffered an eating disorder when I was younger and feel that television, the Disney princesses and, of course Barbie and Bratz don't help little girls develop positive self image but I firmly believe that peers and genetic make-up are the two most significant factors in deciding whether or not a young girl will develop an eating disorder. See this Link Text ( http://www.sfn.org/index.cfm?pagename=brainBriefin... )article for further thoughts on the genetics of this disease. I was never allowed to play with Barbies and rarely watched television as a child. However, I attended a boarding school with precocious, beautiful and wealthy females that made me feel insecure in my own physical traits. This insecurity manifested itself as an eating disorder b/c I am genetically predisposed to this mental illness and it was the one thing superlative that I could own...thinner. Check in with me at my blog Link Text ( http://www.madmarriage.com )madmarriage for further rants, Thanks

Rita Arens 7 pts

Just last night we were in BlockBuster and my daughter wanted to get a Bratz movie. I told her we couldn't get Bratz because they have low self-esteem. I'll probably regret saying things like that later, but I want her to understand that when you dress inappropriately for your age, or inappropriately at all, you're probably doing it for a reason.

I agree we should reinforce to our children (sons and daughters alike), that they are not only attractive physically, but also mentally, emotionally and spiritually. There are so many ways to be attractive, and we are drawn to our friends and mates for more than just physical reasons.

Surrender, Dorothy - When I was your age, we just let them ride in the back window.

Angela Chen Shui 5 pts

Thanks, Dorothy.

I don't know if it hasn't gotten here to Jamaica yet or if I'm just late as usual but I'm happy to say I don't have a clue what Bratz is! ;-) Nor have I heard my 8-year old speaking about it.

I get the vibe though, so I'm in no rush to find out. My hands are full enough helping her find her own creative expression through her clothing, writing, speaking and Being.

Angela.

"Angela's Voice" ( http://www.angelachenshui.com )
Soul's Self Help ( http://www.soulselfhelp.com )

Nordette Adams 6 pts

Great post. Checked out your blog too, Surrender Dorothy. :-) Welcome aboard.

"Love is liquid. Be drunkards!" ~~Nordette ( http://www.writingjunkie.net )

Amanda_Magee 5 pts

I am a mom and role model to two girls (2.5 and 9 months). Before they arrived my husband and I talked about how we would endeavor to bypass the eating disorder quagmire. One of the things we do is make sure that pretty and beautiful are just part of a much larger spectrum of adjectives we use for them. My 2.5 year old and I say good night to the girl in the mirror each night and gleefully exclaim different salutations - G'night Amazing Girl, Good night Tall Girl, G'night Happy Briar, Night Night Pretty Briar, See you in the morning smart girl.
We won't let Bratz in the house, but we have Barbies and she sees the circulars from the papers. I hope that despite the changing world we live in, the fact that we are so aware of the threats, will equip us for the battle for the preservation of our girls' sense of self, and self-worth.
Thanks for shining a light on this. Good luck with your little red head.

Jenn Satterwhite 5 pts

Welcome to the Mommy & Family group! I am so glad to see you here! Mwah!

~Jenn~
Mommy Needs Coffee ( http://mommyneedscoffee.com ) | Mommybloggers ( http://mommybloggers.com )
BlogHerContributing Editor, Mommy and Family ( http://209.59.186.51/~blogher/?q=blog/jenn-satterw... )

psmytha 5 pts

A very good post, thanks!My daughter is 4 and I get jitters when she expresses too much concern over the way she dresses up and looks. It is a whale of a task to reinforce these little minds with proper values, in this rapidly changing world.