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This is the second part of a two-part post about inborn temperament. Part one may be read at this link.
Here's a list of temperament traits from an article at Ohio State University about children and natural temperament.
The examination of a child's temperament generally occurs when the child's behavior is difficult. Clinicians use a series of interviews, observations, and questionnaires that measure the nine temperament traits using a spectrum (scale) indicating mild to intense responses or reactions. By understanding temperament, the parent can work with the child rather than trying to change his or her inborn traits. The nine temperament traits and an explanation of the dimensions are given below.
- Activity: Is the child always moving and doing something OR does he or she have a more relaxed style?
- Rhythmicity: Is the child regular in his or her eating and sleeping habits OR somewhat haphazard?
- Approach/withdrawal: Does he or she "never meet a stranger" OR tend to shy away from new people or things?
- Adaptability: Can the child adjust to changes in routines or plans easily or does he or she resist transitions?
- Intensity: Does he or she react strongly to situations, either positive or negative, OR does he or she react calmly and quietly?
- Mood: Does the child often express a negative outlook OR is he or she generally a positive person? Does his or her mood shift frequently OR is he or she usually even-tempered?s
- Persistence and attention span: Does the child give up as soon as a problem arises with a task OR does he or she keep on trying? Can he or she stick with an activity a long time OR does his or her mind tend to wander?
- Distractibility: Is the child easily distracted from what he or she is doing OR can he or she shut out external distractions and stay with the current activity?
- Sensory threshold: Is he or she bothered by external stimuli such as loud noises, bright lights, or food textures OR does he or she tend to ignore them?
The first tantrum
With my daughter, I was deluded, thinking I was naturally a good mother. But that wasn't true. What was true is that my daughter had a naturally even temperament. Even her tantrums were nice and quiet. The first time she threw a tantrum it took me a few minutes to figure out what she was doing. I recall that she was about two and had been told she couldn't do something.
Suddenly she was on the floor, having fallen down as gracefully as a dancer. She fell like a silk scarf dropping from raised hands, and she didn't say a word. She didn't scream. She didn't yell. She didn't kick. She just lay down on the floor, looking up at the ceiling. I thought, What is this, a sixties form of protest? Then the light went off. Oh! This is a tantrum.
Taking a cue from my grandmother's book of parental tricks, I stepped over my two-year-old and went about my business. The idea was to teach her that tantrums do not work to help one get one's way. Eventually, she arose and was fine.
My son's first tantrum was different. He had a hissy fit. Reminded me of my brother's tantrums--fall out on the floor. Do the maniac!--I wanted to laugh, but I looked at my son the same way I'd looked at my daughter and then I stepped over him. A little while later he got up, but unlike my daughter he was not fine and ready to move on. My son followed me, fuming, objecting to my ignoring him with noises like, "Hmmmhhh!" I continued to ignore him.
Coping Skills
Okay, eventually he too got over it and stopped the noises, but did he really stop following me. My son's temperament makes him more persistent than my daughter when he wants his way.
As my daughter grew and learned to reason, she still did not try to talk me to death to get her way. After one or two tries, she seemed to figure, "Mom's made up her mind. The answer is no." A trait I've had to strengthen in my daughter is assertiveness, and to some degree persistence. She's persistent in pursuing tasks such as solving physical problems like puzzles, but she may cave too easily when it comes
