Do the Right Thing?

Sleep issues are interesting because they are so cultural. I have heard that Americans are much more likely to have sleep issues with children because we ask them to sleep away from us at a very early age. Only because we are relatively wealthy can a child have it's own room away from parents. This is unthinkable, because of space, in other cultures. I wonder why, when we choose to sleep with someone along side of us, it is so important that they sleep alone?

Cathy
http://www.lifetimelearning.blogspot.com

I appreciate the support and encouragement regarding the little angel's sleep. We have now compromised by letting her sleep on the floor of our room when she is scared. We're still trying to encourage her to sleep in her own bed, but we are too tired to make it a battle of wills anymore.

As for the discussion in comments regarding having children versus not having children - let's get this on the table: I'm not interested in judging other people for their choices unless they are endangering themselves or others. Last I checked, not having kids doesn't endanger anyone.

Surrender, Dorothy - When I was your age, we just let them ride in the back window.

Trying to get your child sleeping properly is so important because a parent can't function on little sleep. I know I couldn't. But I take issue with Glab's comment above:

"Being a mother is so rewarding. I know I see childless woman in my office every day. They are self involved and imature."

Surely it's up to the individual if they want children or not as this more recent Blogher post ( http://www.blogher.com/node/16661 ) talks about. Not everyone wants, or can, become a parent, and lumping everyone into 'they are self-involved' bucket is quite short sighted. Perhaps some of Glab's colleagues did take too long to decide about children, but I'm sure there were factors behind this too.

Semantically driven ( http://jaycee.tyepad.com/semantics/ ) and Safari suit ( http://www.safarisuit.com/ )

I'm sure 'glab' means well but saying things like, "Hold onto these moments" and "keep them close so you do not forget what really matters in life. LIFE!" is really hard to swallow when you're working with a few hours sleep deprivation. I know we'll all look back on these years and they will seem a blur (again, probably from sleep deprivation.) But, I for one, can't wait until we're safely past the night crawler stage. It would be so much easier to fathom enjoying the childrearing years if sleep weren't in the balance. The NYT just published an article about this very issue. See my post from last week: http://www.madmarriage.com/blog/2007/03/03/39/

The guilt of things not done as perfectly as I imagined doing them keeps me up, luckily my 2.5 year old continues to be a demon child in the realm of sleeping (or not sleeping as is usually the case) so my wakeful state is useful.

Seriously, I don't think someone who hasn't experienced dealing with a problem sleeper can possibly understand the stress, guilt and occasional sense of utter hopelessness. We are flying across the country soon and between anxiety over being booted off the flight for breastfeeding my 9 month old and an unavoidable infligh tantrum by our toddler, and the whole idea of a week of bed time away from home I find myself with a face full of blemishes, a back full of knots and a sour stomach.

I may have to administer a bit of the cry it out method on myself.

Good luck getting back on track!

Well according to my mother I did not sleep for the first 3 years of my life. I am now in my mid fifties and I am so glad that I still have lots of energy. So even though it might be tough now later on you will love having a child with energy. I tell my duaghter that every day. Her son inherited night terrors from his father. He will wake up in the night with a cold sweat and act rather angry. He just turned 2 and has never been a good sleeper. I know how frustrated she is, but he is a very bright child and seems to be developing into a wonderful little boy. Unfortunately no one is a perfect child. You might be losing sleep right now but it could be worse. Just be thankful and move on. There are many wonderful years that await you. Being a mother is so rewarding. I know I see childless woman in my office every day. They are self involved and imature. They know that they have missed out on having a family because they waited too late to try. When they die what will they leave as their legacy. What will their accomplishments be. Who cares how much work you have done or how many deals you have made. Once your gone people forget. But your children will hold you dear in their hearts forever. And if your lucky like I am so will your grand children.
So if you make a mistake or think am I doing all this right. Just remember at least your child has you and you care. Try and imagine life without her. Hold onto these moments
keep them close so you do not forget what really matters in life. LIFE!

Hang in there, Dorothy. I think you read my post on temperment in which I said my son only slept for short stints as a baby so I know what you're going through. Sometimes I still have to crack down on his sleeping habits, and he's a teen now. Can't have him staying up all night if he has school the next day; so, I start warning him Friday night, "Don't let your sleep get turned around over the weekend." As for your three-year-old, remember this to shall pass.

I saw news about the pot-smoking toddlers. Grrrr!

"Love is liquid. Brew and be drunkards!" ~~Nordette ( http://nexus.writingjunkie.net ) And here's a link to the blog ( http://jerseygoddess.blogspot.com/2007/03/john-edw... ).