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Are you ready to rumble, AI fans!? The real show starts with the Top 12 on the big stage with the screaming fans who give everything a standing ovation and boo every Simon critique, no matter how accurate. Oh, yeah baby!
We're back with the slavish praise of celebrity coaches, the blinding white Simon teeth, the strange gay banter between Simon and Ryan, the stylistic makeovers of contestants...sometimes for the better and sometimes for the much, much worse, and occasionally, when they find the time, some actual talent on display.
This is what I've been waiting for, haven't you?
The Top 12 are tasked with doing Diana Ross songs, and she's on hand to be a loving coach with mostly positive reinforcement and only occasional gentle hints for improvement. Diana has three head's worth of hair, but she really looks quite fabulous.
So here we go:
1. Brandon sang "You Can't Hurry Love"
Brandon is warm and has a warm, pleasant voice, but he has not stepped out to take the spotlight like fellow back-up singer Melinda has. The band was overpowering him sound-wise, and the stage was overpowering him presence-wise. He had a bad night all the way around with a major vocal crack and a major brain-freeze on the words. Actually, although he thought he was doing well until he forgot his words, the converse is true. After he forgot his words the stress and shock gave hima sense of urgency and intensity that he had lacked until that moment.
The verdict: Very much at risk.
2. Melinda sang "Home"
I agree this is a treacly, boring song. I agree that she did more with it than I would have imagined. I continue to find some of the arrangement choices these guys are making to be odd. Starting in some weird middle place of this song didn't help it any. But Melinda has the interpretive skills to make a story out of it anyway. Before Simon compared her to Gladys Knight, I had written that down in my notes. She has a great voice, great heart...and impressively great technique. Note how her chin does not wobble to match the rhythm of her vibrato (one of my pet peeves in singers.) She has staked her claim as the one to beat on pure talent...vocal and interpretive.
The verdict: Oh, so very safe.
3. Chris S. sang "Endless Love"
You could tell that among all the contestants Diana didn't seem to like Chris and his approach that much. She had a slight curled lip of disdain when discussing his choices. And his choices were very bad. For one, trviail thing: wear the glasses (and yes, I wrote that down before Simon said it too.) Chris has a strong, pleasant voice, but that arrangement and his approach to it were robotic, non-emotional and just weird.
The verdict: Well, he did a poor job, but I don't think America's sick of him yet.
4. Gina sang "Love Child"
I hate to tell Miss Ross, but "pronunciate" is not a word. Paul Abdul hates to tell her too, so she just made sure to say it correctly: "enunciate." Because, it's true, you couldn't understand a word Gina said. It actually did sound like the song had more intense lyrics than I really realized, but who knows? Gina has a strong enough voice, but this was a nervous, uncomfortable performance...lots of pacing and bouncing about, lots of yelling.
The verdict: I think Gina may be at risk, at least to be in the bottom 3.
5. Sanajaya sang "Ain't No Mountain High Enough"
Oh. My. God. can someone make this nightmare stop. First, can we talk about the hair. From Farrah Fawcett feather, to an unfortunate run-in with a flat iron, to his scariest choice yet: ringlets. With that curly top, too much make-up and a pair of sparkly earrings I swear he looked like a woman...it was truly strange. But how did he perform, you ask? Well. He started out by exhorting his audience to "come on", trying to coerce a little enthusiasm and energy out of the crowd before he had actually done anything to deserve it. Anoter one of my pet peeves, in case you haven't noticed. The he sang the song like he has sung every other song...like he's only "marking it" vocally, not really singing full-out. If he doesn't go home tonight I will really have lots all idea about what America is thinking. He's a nice boy, good for him and good on his parents, but it's painful to watch him!
The verdict: PLease let him
