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My first pregnancy ended with a stillborn baby boy 6 1/2 months into my pregnancy. The baby was healthy. The problem was with me. With my body. At that time, the doctors questioned my ability to ever have children. For those few months of tests, I feared I would receive the worst possible news I could receive: that I would never give birth to my own children. Since that time, I have had medical help and after 3 very high risk pregnancies, I have three healthy children. But what if...
What if the world somehow turned around and those of us who have been able to conceive children were switched with women who were infertile and struggled to become pregnant (even with intervention) and have babies? Suddenly you find yourself childless and infertile whereas all of your friends who have struggled with infertility are amazingly pregnant. Pamela at Coming2Terms asked just that question in a social experiment that asks you how you would handle this experience as you are plopped down at a baby shower for these newly pregnant women? How do you think the conversation would go?
Everyone who is fighting with infertility, you are now able to conceive -- the NATURAL way.
Those of you with children, those who conceived without a thought as to ovulation cycles, FSH or sperm counts, you are now mysteriously unable to bear children. The littles you once nursed, cuddled and bragged on at social gatherings, they no longer exist. The realization of childlessness is frightening, devastating because the once fertile now find themselves in an empty nursery, the house is suddenly silent -- no more giggles or playful chatter or background noise courtesy of Dora the Explorer or Sesame Street.
Those who were once infertile are equally in disbelief. They've just had a loving and spontaneous romp. Two weeks later two pink lines magically appear on an at home pregnancy kit. The newly pregnant can't quite wrap their heads around the idea that no external intervention was required...not a pill, not a shot, not even a visit to a doctor's office.
A chance to walk in another woman's shoes. Or live with her reproductive life. Could you do it? How would you handle yourself? If you were once fertile and now are unable to conceive, do you resent those who now are pregnant? If you were infertile and are now pregnant, are you sensitive to those who are unable to conceive?
These are great questions. An amazing social study. I highly recommend you go visit Pamela and share your thoughts. Both women who have never struggled with infertility and those who have or are. It is a great way for all of us to learn from each other and maybe learn how to help each other be more sensitive to this issue...on both sides.
And don't be shy! I want to hear what you have to say. Share your thoughts here at BlogHer, too.
Personally speaking, I would hope that I could be happy for those women who are now finding themselves pregnant. But, I remember those long months after Jacob died that I looked at every woman who was pregnant with jealously and frustration. Always asking, "Why her?" I hope I have learned more about the emotions involved and how deeply the pain lies.
What will you learn?
BlogHer Contributing Editor Jenn Satterwhite also blogs at Mommy Needs Coffee, Mommybloggers and Aggroqueen.
