In this week’s Ten Money Questions, we speak with Susan Wagner. Susan writes about fashion at Friday Style and everything else at Friday Playdate. On Thursday, she was wearing a pair of jeans from Old Navy, my favorite discount retailer. I know this because she typically reports on what she’s wearing that day at the end of her BlogHer posts, a detail that makes me smile because it’s a clever and witty way to sign off as the fashion writer. So whether she’s wearing flip flops or the “correct” yoga pants, Susan always provides great tips about wardrobes. Of course, clothes and accessories cost money… read on to hear if all this spending leads to happiness. Enjoy!

1. You give some great tips listed in your Stylish on a Budget post. Do you agree with this statement: a good wardrobe is more about having less and loving it more? And how does it mesh with our consumerism culture?
I absolutely agree. Getting dressed is much simpler when you have a smaller selection of things that really work for you--right size, right cut, right style. Being able to look in the closet in the morning and see things you really like, and really like to wear, takes the stress out of getting dressed. Having clothes that fit and flatter also takes the attention away from the clothes and puts it back on the woman inside them, which is important. We are more than just our clothes.

I think the less-is-more philosophy really goes against the general theory behind fashion culture, certainly, which is all about having what’s hot and new, and behind consumerist culture, which equates stuff with success and status. Having an overstuffed closet won’t make you a better person, though, and it won’t make you happier; it just makes it hard to see what’s in your closet.

2. What is your most significant memory about money?
When I was a freshman in high school, I bused tables at a restaurant; it was my first non-babysitting job, the first job where I had to pay Social Security and FICA and all that grown-up stuff. And I remember getting my first paycheck and having a big fit because my take-home pay was so much less than I thought it would be. My dad sat down with me and explained what had been taken out and why, and what happened to that money. It was my first real lesson in capitalism and democracy.

I watch reruns of Friends all the time now, and the episode where Rachel gets her first check from the coffee shop and says, “Who is FICA and why did he take all my money?” still makes me laugh.

3. What is your worst habit around finances?
I am in charge of the checkbook at our house, but I don’t keep up with it very regularly. Instead of entering all the debit card receipts every day (or couple of days) I wait until my desk is completely covered with little bits of paper and then I wig out and spend two hours tearing my hair out and balancing the account. And then I swear to myself that I am NOT going to do this again, and then two weeks later I'm buried under receipts and the whole thing starts over.

4. You made a comment on the post called The Secret Lives of Cash Paying Wives stating that, “Separate money is good, but secret money is dangerous.” Can you elaborate on this thought?
When I read the New York Times article that you referenced, I was a little taken aback by the women in it who were going to such elaborate lengths to hide their spending from their husbands; they were doing things like overwriting checks at the grocery and stashing the cash in their lingerie drawer until they had enough to buy a handbag or some shoes. And that kind of deceit was really disturbing to me.

My husband and I have separate credit cards; we pay the bills out of the joint account, but we don’t have elaborate conversations about every purchase. We have a budget for the house and we both respect that and stay within it. We’re not hiding our credit card bills or the things we buy, but we’re not lying about it either, and for us that’s an important part of our relationship. I think secret money--or secret spending--is dangerous because it undermines that sense of trust and honesty; separate money, though, preserves some sense of independence.

For me the bottom line is that I don’t care what my husband buys, I just don’t want him to lie about it, nor do I ever want to lie to him about my spending. Secret money is all about the lie, and to build a relationship on secrets and lying seems dangerous to me.

5. If you could buy one thing right now what would it be?
We just bought a house, last weekend, and now we’re browsing furniture. We’re finally upgrading from the IKEA pieces we bought in grad school (and before, in some cases) to real Grown Up Furniture. I want a really fantastic couch, something well-made and comfortable, that doesn’t look like it belongs in a playroom, and a great chair to go with it. How boring is that?

6. Which is more important: how much money you make or how you spend it?
How you spend it. But I don’t think that spending money has to mean having a lot of stuff. We’re sending our sons to private school, and we have given up other things, like big vacations, to do that, but for us that trade off is worthwhile. We’re also trying to teach our sons that having money means making smart choices about how to spend and save and give, and that all three of those things are important.

7. How can a person who loves to shop find a healthy balance between fiscal responsibility and personal expression?
I say this all the time, but I think the key is to identify your personal style--your “uniform,” if you will--and stick with it, rather than being suckered by every single trend that comes along. I am all about shopping my closet instead of shopping the mall, and using what I have before I buy something new. I also do a lot of browsing on line, because for me, it’s harder to make an impulse buy over the internet. When I’m standing in the store, it’s so simple to buy the pair of pants or shirt, because they are right in front of me, and it’s difficult to think about what I really need; when I’m at home looking at things on my laptop, I can go to my closet and assess what I already have, and then make a good choice.

It’s important to remember that clothes are not an investment, even really good quality pieces, in the way that a house or an IRA is an investment. I have a good friend whose motto is “If it’s on your ass, it’s not an asset.” Personal expression isn’t about shopping the trends; it’s about finding a look that works and working that look.

8. What did your parents teach you about money?
My parents taught me that money doesn’t make you a better person; they also taught me that when you have money, it is important to share the wealth, even if you only have a little bit to share.

9. When you suggest a wardrobe item, what is most important to you: price, quality, trend, or status?
Quality. Having a workable wardrobe means having pieces that really work, and that transcend trends. Well-made pieces will fit better and last longer. I am uncomfortable with the status purchase, because, like trendy things, it seems like a waste of money to me. If you really love something and will wear it or carry it, then get it, but if you want it because Paris Hilton or Gwyneth Paltrow has it, think twice.

It is worth the time and money to buy good quality clothes, particularly basics like dress shoes and suits, and to take good care of them. Cheaper pieces will need to be replaced more frequently and will cost more in the long run. If you abide by the less-is-more approach, then what you have should be workable and well made.

10. Money can buy a lot of clothes and accessories, but can it buy happiness?
No. Money can buy peace of mind, it can buy good health care and quality education and safe homes, but happiness is something else. The things that make me the happiest aren’t my shoes or my house, but my family, especially my children. And while I may threaten to sell them on eBay, I would give up all the money we have for them.

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Read other interviews in Nina’s Ten Money Questions series at Queercents.