Alpha Moms, Beta Moms and rest of us Greek alphabet moms

This Alpha mom article really catch my eye and I have actually some questions I would love to ask from Isabel Kallman...is there any way I can send her email? I felt bad how her potrait was painted in media. After all she had get in position she is with her our efforts and hard work -but media turned her look so bad. God bless your family.

I wonder what letter I would be...lambda for laid back, mu for music-oriented, or an Alpha Rho Tau for all the art events to which I take my kids!

I was just writing about what kind of mommy I am on my blog! http://radioactivecats.blogspot.com/2007/05/i-am-s... ( http://radioactivecats.blogspot.com/2007/05/i-am-s... ). So where do I fit?

Guess we're all just moms doing our best...

Hugs,
Lindsay

Cherish each moment, learn from each person you meet, gather wisdom and peace with each passing day

I found all of the information on Alpha Moms to be very interesting. However, I would point out some drastic differences and similarities among Alpha Moms and Afro Alpha Moms (African American Alpha Moms). Yes, there is a difference!

By, 2010 African American households will spend annually $1 Trillion Dollars. The fact that I run a global marketing and public relations firm and live in an area that has probably one of the largest populations of “successful” African Americans living in one area. Understanding the importance of multicultural marketing when marketing to Alpha Moms is key, essentially we can’t overlook Afro Alpha Moms.

I became so frustrated with some of the information that was being written that I recently started my own blog especially for Afro Alpha Moms! I am also the cofounder of a 501 c 3 nonprofit focused on minority organ donor donations. In addition, I do pride myself on being a superior mother, wife, sister, and friend. Multitasking is something that I do and do well. Did I forget to mention that I operate other different streams of business incomes? And of course like most Alpha Moms I have a college education and have worked from some major BIG corporations. However, I am African American and to reach my market requires different marketing strategies. But don’t do like some marketers do and just omit us all together.

African American Alpha Moms should have their own voice.

Visit:
http://afroalphamom.blogspot.com/

...as if you need to be a "competimommy" or an "Olympic track mommy" to be in any way influential. It's also the use of tag words such as Alpha, Beta, etc. Those have known connotations, and bring to mind the idea of a dog pack, placement within a pack...and bitches.

So for me, it's the language that I find offensive.

The idea is not offensive when I stop to ponder it apart from the language.

I'm more likely to try something someone I trust has endorsed. Product endorsements are old style marketing, classics really, since the technique transcends time.

Very often I'm seeking a thing that will solve a need or problem and very often another woman has provided guidance, or direction.

I don't think this is a problem, even when you apply it to the blogging world, and ask bloggers with decent traffic to review a product.

So Jenn, I agree with your original point that one doesn't have to be alpha, Alpha, Type A or Perfect to be influential, and a good source for product reviews.

But I don't think these tags are real---it's the usual "drop 'em into a bucket" tactic marketing tends to follow to the point of seemingly forgetting that there is a wealth of individuals.

I'm more of a selfish blogger in that I prefer to spout off on my own random topics, and I tend to get bored at blogs that endlessly promote. I also will tend to dismiss these marketing blogs because it feels like a potential conflict of interest. Some of the blogbands and marketing gets to feel a little...well, I guess outside of my purvue of interest.

How funny that these shows historically thought of as being for women are now sort of biting the hand that feeds them by making these little airplane food morsel segments (mom-tinis, Alpha Moms) that have no hope of doing justice to any of the sides represented. I am so sick of the mommy wars and the diluted, dumbed down offerings on tv.

The Wink ( http://www.toddlywinks.blogspot.com )

Krisco from Crib Ceiling ( http://cribceiling.blogspot.com )

Jenn, Alice, Isabel, Stephania, et al,

On the one hand, it's good that Moms - of any stripe (skipping the Greek letters) - are getting recognition. Recognition publicly as decision makers and leaders. (That's fine the ad world already knew our purchasing power; I'm glad to see it out in the open.)

On the other hand, I have to admit that "Alpha Mom" as a brand was a little confusing to me when it first started up, so I can see why it was easily played that way by GMA.

I think Alice and Isabel explained it well in the segment; it was only the GMA folks sticking to the obnoxious version. It looks like just an easy way to once again try to incite mommy wars.

Jenn, thanks for this nice write-up and the type of conclusion we can all agree with - let's cut the labels, we're all in this together.

And if some bloggers get to plug a Wii while they're at it, good for them.

I also read that article in NY Mag with my jaw on the floor back when I was pregnant. It freaked me out completely. Because indeed, there are women like that, especially in NY - the overachieving, perfectly coiffed, supermom with the four nannies and the pilates arms that never deign to pick up their own children.

Then, I had the pleasure of meeting and getting to know Isabel years later. And I thought...how could the writer get it this wrong? She's not only not that character (nor does she even give off that impression) but her website and tv network isn't for that character either.

But I guess a story about a new mom starting a family business to help other new moms with basic stuff like breastfeeding advice and picking out an affordable maternity wardrobe isn't as compelling as an uptight neglectful Wall Streeter-turned-parent who pushes all mothers to overachieve while reaping in the millions.

Let's be honest, the latter is more fun, isn't it? Way more fun. Doesn't make it true though.

http://mom-101.blogspot.com

http://coolmompicks.com
We find it, you flaunt it.

The whole quote from the JWT woman was about influencers - a marketing term that indicates you talk to the people who influence. That's you, blogging women! Alpha, beta, or omega. I don't think she's implying that we blindly follow the masses, although that's the confusion that happens when marketing speak more appropriate for AdAge ends up on a morning show.

http://mom-101.blogspot.com

http://coolmompicks.com
We find it, you flaunt it.

Let's not make this a "thing."

Stefania Pomponi Butler
Contributing Editor, Arts & Entertainment, BlogHer

I blog:
CityMama ( http://citymama.typepad.com )
Kimchi Mamas ( http://kimchimamas.typepad.com )
Family Food ( http://citymama.typepad.com/cityfood )

I agree with CityMama and Grace. There are people who are leaders in every community, who always seem to be on the leading edge of whatever the next new thing is. I don't blame advertisers for wanting to tap into that. In fact, Ben & Jerry? Call me. Will blog for Chunky Monkey any day.

Glennia
The Silent I ( http://glenniacampbell.typepad.com/silenti/ )
Silicon Valley Moms Blog ( http://svmomsblog.typepad.com )
Kimchi Mamas ( http://kimchimamas.typepad.com )

And heavens no, let's not pick sides. I am over the labels. I am over picking sides. I am too busy being a mom to try to find the "right" label. I appreciate that you got that point! At the end of the day, if we moms stick together, there is no need to "stick it to the media" because they will have nothing to fuel us with.

~Jenn~
Mommy Needs Coffee ( http://mommyneedscoffee.com ) | Mommybloggers ( http://mommybloggers.com )
BlogHerContributing Editor, Mommy and Family ( http://209.59.186.51/~blogher/?q=blog/jenn-satterw... )

It's like that line from the movie Men in Black:

"It looks like I'll have to buy the White Album, again..."

Do we (especially moms) have to pick sides, again!?!

The lovely Grace Davis expressed my thoughts on this subject much more eloquently than I ever could - as the media puts fuel to the fire; it's their job - personally, I would have a real hard time choosing which label to represent.

There are so many!

SAHM, WAHM, WM, Mrs., Ms., Mom, Mommy, Diva, etc...

But, at the end of the day, there isn't much of me left, anyway, that would be considered marketable. Because, being a mommy (and daddy) is hard (damn, if I had a dollar for each time I blogged those words!) and the minute I take any responsibility for raising my children, my way, there is always (and I mean ALWAYS) someone waiting in the wings, ready to blow me down and slap a label on my ass!

Nope, I'm sitting this one out and not picking sides - more power to you, Alpha Mom! - unless, of course, someone finally takes notice of Dorky Moms!

In this, I would be a marketer's dream - great post, Jenn!

--------------------------------------------
Family.com ( http://family.go.com/blog/ThompsonClanMom )
Imperfect Parent ( http://www.imperfectparent.com/ethompson/index.php )
This Full House ( http://thisfullhouse.com )

This appears to be an issue of an unfortunate branding decision rather than an attempt to elevate certain mothers over others. I say, let’s give them all a break on a marketing mistake!

Any marketer familiar with the “Link Text ( http://marketingteacher.com/Lessons/lesson_adoptio... )product adoption” process knows that some consumers will show a greater interest in certain product categories than others. They will take the time to research them, try them and then recommend them to their friends. These, “innovators” can be found in every product category and other consumers look to them for advice or perhaps input.

In my marketing classes, I use several examples: the “electronics guru” in every neighborhood, who always has the latest electronic gadget and whom everyone calls when they are considering a major purchase; the “fashion maven” who always knows the latest styles. Marketers target tax preparers to influence consumers’ purchase of tax software and Doctors to influences drug purchases.

It’s nothing new – call them trend setters, call them “go-to” people, but LABEL them subtly!

Backtracking to a Link Text ( http://www.usatoday.com/money/advertising/2007-03-... )USA Today article that pinpoints the genesis of this unfortunate name choice, it seems there was some marketing strategy confusion.

“Aspirational marketing” uses a person or a group of people whom consumers already “aspire to be like,” frequently celebrities and experts to pitch products.

Isabel Kallman’s video-on-demand cable TV station’s goal was to brand a site that would attract “information-hungry, multi-tasking Moms”. They certainly could have used an “aspirational marketing” strategy by selecting one of the gazzilion parenting experts already vetted by the consumer.

Minus the pre-approved expert, however, a better strategy would have been to select a name that addressed the “need”, that admittedly, most moms have – a need for input on parenting in the 21st century, with new rules, new regimens and new requirements.

“Helpful Mommies” anyone?

Clearly, this unfortunate business decision should not reflect on the personalities or intentions of the players. I say, let’s give them a break!

MC Milker ( http://notquitecrunchyparent.blogspot.com/ )

First - Good Morning America's use of the phrase "Type A" was fairly extreme, unjust and not relevant here. Cardiologists devised this term for people (primarily men) prone to heart disease due to self-induced stress, outward hostility and impatience. Type A's never rise to true alpha status because their aggressiveness betrays an insecurity in leadership. "Alpha" has another sensibility altogether. It is exactly as the marketers,advertisers and the biologists who observe packs of wolves see it - leaders who others follow and defer to.

Perhaps this is a fine point, but I wanted to emphasize it because, (1) I worked as a researcher in the San Francisco hospital where the Type A patient was characterized, and the hospital administration never let us forget that; and, (2) the incorrect and likely intentional use of the term is all part of the set-up and the spin, of which I describe below.

On this alpha business - There are pace setters in every enterprise. These are the alphas, and because of their accomplishments and success they deserve to be at the head of the pack. We do ourselves a favor by following their lead and guidance.

However, just because we follow does not mean we're weak or don't have a thought of our own; we simply want to heed the best possible advice or example available. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact, it's often the wise thing to do.

The presence of alpha leaders should not diminish the rest of us. It does not necessarily follow that non-alphas are automatic betas or zetas or losers. All it means is that there are exceptional folks out there with great ideas. That should be exciting, not threatening.

Thus, I feel badly when such assumptions are made in the context of this discussion, particularly in reference to women. I wish we can have this discourse without getting defensive. Jenn, though I understand the core theme of your entry, that we must transcend the labels and see through the media ploy, I wish there wasn't a need to respond to the faux controversy -

Do I admire alpha moms and the Alpha Mom site that Isabel has set up? Absolutely! Do I feel that those are the only moms that the rest of us are listening to? Not so much.

- I can't help but think that the "not so much" plays into the set-up. In that vein, I think that commentary from JWT Marketing Executive is also not worthy of our response, much less our time.

Most of all, I wish we as women can collectively turn our ire not to each other, but where it belongs - to the marketers/advertisers/media spinners who pigeonhole us in neat little demographic profiles. It's easier for these entities to reduce us this way, it's part of the equation to sell products and score advertising dollars for insipid morning talk shows.

There's profit to be made in the juicy stuff of a catfight, in pitting us against each other to create a bogus controversy. The spin is never-ending: Oooo! Tune in and check out the Type A Alpha Moms! Are you as good as they are? And, on tomorrow's show we'll talk about those tipsy mothers who swill wine at playdates ( http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16818362/ )! Don't you think they should find healthier ways to relieve their stress? (Helloooo, Melissa ( http://www.suburbanbliss.net/suburbanbliss/2007/01... )!)

They're not very coy in trying to incite the catfights, either. When the Good Morning America cameras turned to the women watching the show outside the studio, they fully intended us to watch their heads nod vigorously and tut-tut with dismay in response to the GMA anchor throwing up her hands and saying, "I'm looking at the audience and they're going sheesh, what more do I have to do?"

If the women in the audience knew what the Alpha Mom site was all about, they would have shot the anchor and reporter quizzical, what-the-hell looks and ask what's the big deal? These Alpha Moms ain't bad. In fact, they're telling us we're all Alpha Moms, too.

If only.

Resectfully and in solidarity,

Grace Davis
BlogHer Contributing Editor, Life
Member, BlogHer 07 Advisory Board
State of Grace ( http://gracedavis.typepad.com/ )

i apologize. I got a little touchy I guess because I feel part of the Blogher community being a site member for almost a year and a reader since Blogher Conference #1.

i've learned from our interaction. thank you.

Best,
Isabel

Thank you for your kind words and looking forward to that drink!

for potentially influencial women/mothers. Nothing more.

I also don't see anything wrong with being called an Alpha Mom in this sense, after all, it's why PR people and advertisers seek out mom bloggers in droves.

If an offer for a free whatchamahoozit ("Oh, and perhaps you can blog it.") has ever hit your inbox, you are probably considered an Alpha Mom. As I'm sure these PR people are finding out, dealing with Alpha Moms can be a touchy thing. I know many bloggers (including myself) who share the good, the bad, and the ugly in their reviews.

There's nothing wrong with being an Alpha Mom, I accept and review products if I think they will be helpful to moms and I don't blog something if I absolutely hate it. Lately I've been thinking that Alpha Moms could do more with their influence than sell face cream, video game systems, and whatever product of the moment PR people want hawked.

I don't quite see how the term can be used to be divisive. I mean, I get that it might seem similar to the "Alpha" meaning superior (as in--bad example--"Alpha Dog") but that's not necessarily what advertisers mean.

I think advertisers think they can manipulate Alpha Moms into doing their marketing dirty work for them (for free or cheap) and that is something that bothers me more than wondering if the term "Alpha Mom" is the latest fuel in the mommy wars fire.

Stefania Pomponi Butler
Contributing Editor, Arts & Entertainment, BlogHer

I blog:
CityMama ( http://citymama.typepad.com )
Kimchi Mamas ( http://kimchimamas.typepad.com )
Family F ( http://citymama.typepad.com/cityfood )

I wasn't able to watch the news story, but I wish I could have caught it. It intrigues me to see how the media spins many topics in other directions. It seems to encourage the feuds among women that we are trying so hard to stop.

Dana from The Dana Files ( http://thedanafiles.com ).

Should I have said "that woman"? Should I have said "She?" My statement was to indicate that the founder of Alpha Mom as referred to in the article posted was covered in another magazine. No slam was meant or implied by how I referred to her in the sentence, so please don't infer that it was. In future I will simply state the name so that nobody will read into my words that I am making a judgement.

The article was terribly unflattering, and I'm glad to learn that it was a misrepresentation, only because it would sadden me to find that people like the woman portrayed in the article actually exist. Caricature is absolutely the right word for it.

I really do wish they had added what you said (that I emphasized in my last paragraph) so that your position would have been clearer to people who do not know you beyond that story. Having seen what you have done online and seeing the women you interviewed at BlogHer '06, it was obvious that they left out your thoughts on this label being slapped on women.

I am glad you realize that I saw through the "story" and realized it was just more media fodder to fuel wars that no Mom I know actually wants to be a part of. And that you realize I DO admire you and your work.

What you are doing with Alpha Moms is great. Looking forward to meeting face to face one day. We can go through the whole Greek alphabet over cocktails and find the label WE want. (Or the one we want to put on the media!) ;-)

~Jenn~
Mommy Needs Coffee ( http://mommyneedscoffee.com ) | Mommybloggers ( http://mommybloggers.com )
BlogHerContributing Editor, Mommy and Family ( http://209.59.186.51/~blogher/?q=blog/jenn-satterw... )

Geez, I'm going through my morning reads and I find this.

Alice, thank you for for your comment.

Jenn,
It's a shame that many of the ideas you wrote here, particularly in your last paragraph, and were said by me as well, did not make it into the edited version. I was interviewed on camera for 40 minutes and two sentences made it in.

You seem to be aware of the media drill. I was just happy that I had the opportunity to recommend Alice to speak on an "alpha mom's" behalf. Alice is honest and non-judgmental. It's tricky when you are asked to participate in a media story because you are almost NEVER sure what the tone will be. If you don't represent, they'll choose someone else and you run the risk of the whole story going awry. This is my company's brand name, this was important.

It's sad that I've become so jaded of mainstream media and this wasn't far from what I expected. Personally preparing yourself for a story is partly managing your own expectations.

Interesting news, yesterday I was sent a letter by the editor of USA Today asking me to complete a quick survey to tell them whether the "Alpha Mom" story they wrote contained any errors and whether I felt it accurately conveyed the information I provided them as a source for said story. I guess, I was pleasantly surprised by USA Today's concern.

Isabel Kallman
Alpha Mom CEO
aka "this woman"

Mom-bloggers speaking their mind? Surely you jest! ;-)

You can come over and play on my Wii anytime, Alice. And we can both be Kappa Moms. (As in Kick Ass Moms)

~Jenn~
Mommy Needs Coffee ( http://mommyneedscoffee.com ) | Mommybloggers ( http://mommybloggers.com )
BlogHerContributing Editor, Mommy and Family ( http://209.59.186.51/~blogher/?q=blog/jenn-satterw... )

I just want to clarify what the whole point of this is where we agree that the media is the one labeling moms again. Media and some marketers feel the need to label us. If I used all the ones I had stuck to me, my business card would be 10 pages long. I do admire Isabel and what she has done with Alpha Mom and I respect her. As I do you. Immensely.

Do I admire alpha moms and the Alpha Mom site that Isabel has set up? Absolutely!

You mentioned:

The target of our anger should be GMA and their dogged creation of more Mommy War fodder. Not Alpha Mom or the "alpha moms."

I couldn't agree more. It is what I said, but in a different way.

Simply MOMS helping other MOMS. Label free.

Novel idea, I know. But how about we give that a try? Media? Think you can work that one into one of your stories. Trust me. THAT would be ground breaking morning news.

My draw dropped at the way the show portrayed alpha moms as the only ones people listen to. Whether it be "Alpha" or "alpha". (Not that I even believe their are "alpha moms" that rule the playground!) I have nothing negative to say about Isabel or you or the Alpha Moms site. It was a call for the media to once and for all stop the labels.

I know better than the way they spun the story.

I hope you know that and that Isabel knows it as well.

~Jenn~
Mommy Needs Coffee ( http://mommyneedscoffee.com ) | Mommybloggers ( http://mommybloggers.com )
BlogHerContributing Editor, Mommy and Family ( http://209.59.186.51/~blogher/?q=blog/jenn-satterw... )

I agree with your last point, Jenn, about moms helping other moms, and I would say that if there's an "alpha mom," it's someone who states their mind--and I think that includes pretty much every mom-blogger out there.

Isabel Kallman was slammed by New York magazine. The reporter used her quotes out of context and mischaracterized her completely. I got to know Isabel shortly after the piece ran, and I can tell you she was devastated by it. Worse than the article, perhaps, was the response by bloggers, many of whom openly wished ill on her and her family.

She was invited to respond to the article by several media outlets, but chose to take the high ground and let the whole thing blow over. She finally told her story at the Huffington Post, here. ( http://www.huffingtonpost.com/isabel-kallman/mothe... )

I don't think I would have handled that crisis with nearly as much grace as Isabel did. And I feel strongly that she deserves our respect.

Now, moving on to the Alpha Mom story...

I know you're not doing this, Jenn, but let's not respond to the idea of the "Alpha Mom" as if it's an actual identity that anyone is laying claim to. If there's a demographic, it's one that marketers have created, and as such, it's as much of a fiction as the Soccer Mom. Unfortunately this one, with all its presumed authority and power, is uniquely threatening, so other moms are getting defensive. I wouldn't fault them for this, if Isabel's Alpha Mom content stated or even implied that her kind of mothers are better than the rest.

As I tried (and failed) to get across to GMA, there's nothing exclusive about the idea of Alpha Mom. If you look at her site, you'd see that. But everyone reacts to this nonsensical piece by GMA as if it's reflecting anything in reality. It's just not. The target of our anger should be GMA and their dogged creation of more Mommy War fodder. Not Alpha Mom or the "alpha moms." (I've yet to meet one of those, by the way. And if I'm one, where's my Nintendo Wii?)

...nearly two years ago. I was rendered speechless, then I had to laugh. Link is here ( http://nymag.com/nymetro/news/features/12026/ ).

None of this high school mommying for me!

Karen
"Life is too short to pout all the time."
A Deaf Mom Shares Her World ( http://www.putzworld.blogspot.com )
Commercials for your website! ( http://www.globalvideoservices.com )

Let's face it, we all have days when we're the perfect alpha mom and days when we realize that we went to the supermarket without a wallet or a bra. I say we all call ourselves all of the labels and then see what they do with us.
Jen
Link Text ( http://wwwjerseygirl89.blogspot.com )Dirty Little Secret
Link Text ( http://www.writingup.com/blog/jerseygirl89 )Musings
Link Text ( http://www.readinggoddess.net )Reading Goddess