Hussy Control
by Rita Arens

Okay, I know the Bratz/Barbie debate has already received a lot of attention in the blogosphere. Mir from Woulda Coulda Shoulda wrote a fabulous post here at BlogHer on the subject of Bratz last October. You’d think things would’ve improved since then, but Katie, bar the door. It’s just getting worse.

Before I had a daughter, I thought Barbie was too skinny and probably a slut to boot, but whatever. I totally played with Barbies as only a child born in the seventies could really do. I remember Malibu Barbie’s tan lines. I can totally appreciate people who think we are making a mountain out of a plastic chest. The regular Bratz and Barbies are silly, superficial, slutty shopaholics – good for nothing but changing clothes and sliding their either freakishly small or large feet into various plastic sports cars or salon chairs. Then I saw the Bratz Babyz, and I think that’s what made me think alert the media – is this not child pornography disguised as Strawberry Shortcake’s hooker cousin? I don’t know if I would’ve reacted that way I did (near vomiting) if I weren’t the parent of a three-year-old girl, but those little underwear seemed a little close too close to home for me.

But the media had already been alerted. They didn’t seem to get the problem. The blogosphere, on the other hand, did and does and will. Izzy from IzzyMom writes eloquently on this subject again and again.

I wish it were as easy as blaming the dolls, Barbies and Bratz alike, as the author of Neat does as she describes the satisfaction of seeing tufts of blonde Barbie hair on her parents’ shag carpeting. Unfortunately, blaming the dolls isn’t enough. We DO need to tell manufacturers we don’t approve of their dolls’ fashion sense. We DO need to tell stores who carry these dolls that we won’t buy them as long as they are dressed like underage streetwalkers. We DO need to speak out against them and tell our relatives not to buy them for our daughters. (If you need a templated letter for Grandma, go read Tracy’s at Whim).

But, as Omaha Momma

points out, we also need to look at how we act and talk and eat in front of our daughters. No, parents and particularly mommies aren’t capable of protecting their daughters from every hurt, bump, wrinkle, bad sex encounter or eating disorder. If that were true, I wouldn’t have been an anorexic who lost my virginity far too young. My mom rocked. You can’t protect your daughter from everything.

But just as we now know that we should strap our children into car seats and suggest they wear a helmet if they are going to try out the neighbor’s new ten-foot skateboard ramp, we should as parents be mindful of the emotional direction young children need, too. Part of our job as parents is to teach our daughters how the world works. If you jump on the bed, you could end up with stitches. If you take that high-interest credit card in exchange for a big bag of M&Ms in college, you could end up $14,000 lighter when you’re broke and 25. If you dress like a whore, people might call you one, or worse, they might be so distracted by your clothing that they won’t see the real girl hiding inside the lycra.

In addition to not financially supporting the madness, we must remind our daughters and sons alike that Barbie couldn’t exist in real life and that Bratz have low self-esteem. Adult women do not dress like that unless they have a reason to do so. Teenaged girls and adolescents will want to dress like that; they’ll have the gorgeous, young, uncellulite-laden thighs to dress like that; men and boys will want them to dress like that; the only reason you do it is to draw attention to your physical form. I have nothing against being proud of your physical form, but there’s more than one way to show it off. You don’t walk around with your IQ taped to your forehead so everyone can see it, but people can tell if you’re intelligent from talking to you. You don’t have to walk around with your measurements on display, either. You can be an athlete or wear clothes that fit. People can appreciate intellectual and physical beauty from a much more subtle display.

And the dolls, well, they’re dolls, so they don’t know that. In fact, here’s some commentary from City Style Barbie over at Grabapple to prove it.

And now, for something completely different: It’s almost Mother’s Day. Get on over to Cool Mom Picks and decide what you want.

Submitted by Rita Arens (view blog) on Wed, 05/02/2007 - 14:11

Comments

 

Barbie/Bratz

100% agreement. I played with Barbie dolls as a kid and when my girls were old enough I let them play with them as well. I drew the line at Bratz though- they look just plain trampy and trashy and I think they give impressionable young girls the wrong messages.

Submitted by Cynthia Nichols on Wed, 05/02/2007 - 14:47
 

Never had a Barbie

My parents were hippies and my grandparents were missionaries - so while I too was a child of the 70's, there were no Barbies, no Nestle and no grapes picked in California. I have let my girls receive Barbies as gifts and actually feel ok about it. I think it's kind of laughable that Barbie can't sit to get in her Jeep without her crack showing and I tell my daughters as much, though I don't say crack. And as for Bratz? Hell no! They look like methed out Dark Crystal whores.

I think raising girls in a world of halter tops and heels before they're ten and plastic surgery at puberty is tough. All I can think to do is be as kind to myself and about myself as possible. No fat days, no dumb me's.

The problem, as I watch the fine lines beginning to smatter across my face like the first snowflakes on sidewalk and my taste (comfort) in fashion becomes more staid, I realize my relevance and credibility will take a hit as I age. Success in protecting my girls will be in laying as much groundwork as I can in these early years and for as many after that as they will tolerate. Then it's kind of a wing and a prayer.

That was all really just mom code for: I have absolultely no idea, but I'll bust my tail trying to figure it out.

Submitted by mama2bna on Wed, 05/02/2007 - 18:16
 

Barbie as a Playboy Bunny

Thank you. Excellent and interesting post. It is strangely bizarre that we must start so early, with toddlers, to think about the influence of media on our daughters’ sexual image. Whatever happened to childhood? I was quite a tomboy, but on rainy days, my friends and I did play with Barbies. We were not very kind to her: she was usually a stripper, a hysterical rich movie star, or a Playboy bunny. The Ken doll also didn’t fair well. When we played roll games outdoors or with the aid of our dress up chest (throw offs from my mother’s and grandmother’s closet), our imagination would jump in: we were Amazons, Artic explorers, pioneers, Tarzan, Russian spies, etc. This makes me think that when we were playing dolls with sleazy looking dolls, we came up with a lot of sleazy scenarios.

lia from luebeck, germany

Author of the media safe 101 page on the Red Tent Blog and the personal yum yum cafe

Submitted by Lia on Wed, 05/02/2007 - 23:22
 

Good for Nothing

The regular Bratz and Barbies are silly, superficial, slutty shopaholics – good for nothing but changing clothes and sliding their either freakishly small or large feet into various plastic sports cars or salon chairs.

That's part of the problem. It's not just how they're dressed that registers... it's that they're "good for nothing". The whole focus is to hang out, dress up and shop... and that's what they end up valuing when they get older.

Meanwhile, boys' toys and action figures are focused on DOING SOMETHING. When boys get older, they're prepared to play football or go to war or start a business or build something.

When girls finish playing with baby dolls, hang-out-and-shop dolls and kitchen-appliance toys, they're prepared to have kids and continue the "game" they've been playing since day one.

--
Bill Cammack
Video Editor
BillCammack.com

Submitted by Bill Cammack on Thu, 05/03/2007 - 05:26
 

The limits of Princessville

Bill has an excellent point, and it illuminates why children's media for young girls must get beyond the limits of Princessville.

It was not until I could read that my doll play began to get interesting - detective, pioneer, aviator. Before that all I saw was the domesticity (or the shopping) of the women around me, and an endless parade of "rescued" princesses. And let's face it, "Happily ever after" for Cinderella merely meant that now she would have servants instead of being one.

-Lisse
@ Home in the World

Submitted by Lisse on Thu, 05/03/2007 - 08:25
 

My dauther's response

When my 6 year old sees Bratz in the store or on tv, she will proudly announce "Those are totally inappropriate for me. I don't need a hoochie doll to have fun!"

Okay, so maybe she heard mommy's rant once or twice, but I promise I did not plant those words in her head intentionally! Though, to see that hand on her hip telling her playmate age friends that there are more fun toys to play with than "hoochie dolls"...well, it warms the heart and cracks me up.

She would much rather play with animals, draw pictures or "create" books and detailed plays that we all get to enjoy. Daily. If only keeping the influential things like a doll out of her life stayed as easy when these "bad influences" become real live people in her life...not just dolls.

~Jenn~
Mommy Needs Coffee | Mommybloggers
BlogHerContributing Editor, Mommy and Family

Submitted by Jennifer Satterwhite on Thu, 05/03/2007 - 05:43
 

I think the most important duty for a parent

Is to keep life as sweet and innoncent for our children.
That doesn't mean NO BARBIES...but controlling their perception of them and their perceptions of the outside world.
My kids scream 'I WANT THAT' at every toy commercial.'

But my daughter thinks pretty is having her hair in bunches and wearing pink.

She is obessed with pretty..but does not equate it with being like a braz doll...and I will aim at keeping it that way.

and so far she has only wanted fairy and princess barbies too....fine and safe with me.

Look for me at http://crunchycarpets.com or check out the ladies at www.wetcoastwomen.com

Submitted by Crunchy Carpets on Thu, 05/03/2007 - 06:40
 

I also debated buying a Barbie...

I grew up with Barbie and so did all three of my girls - the boy, well...he just sort of enjoyed stuffing Barbie into a jeep, or running her over with a truck - and I also debated the Barbie craze her at BlogHer, including some interesting facts about this so-called Hussy, in "Desperately Seeking Barbie."

To be honest, Bratz dolls - with their removable body parts and fish eyes - sort of scared the girls and me.

--------------------------------------------
Family.com
Imperfect Parent
This Full House

Submitted by Liz Thompson on Tue, 05/08/2007 - 07:31
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