Dear Susan,

My sister-in-law is getting married in mid-October. The wedding will be held on a cruise ship and the overall vibe will be fairly casual. (I'd probably call it semi-formal, and I KNOW no one will be wearing tuxedos.) This is a second wedding for my sister-in-law, and a fairly small affair.

Now, here's my problem. At the time of the wedding I will be 5 WEEKS POSTPARTUM. I have NO IDEA what I am going to wear. I am not a member of the wedding party, but as a member of the "immediate" family I want to look good. I know I'm still going to have a belly pooch. Should I wear a ... sigh... maternity dress? I don't think I can get a dress in my pre-pregnant size, so what size? What type of style would flatter my jiggly belly and big nursing breasts? (Also a style that would be nursing-friendly would be extremely helpful!) I'd like to try to stay under about $150 for the dress. Is there any help or advice you could offer? I am at a loss.

Thank you so much.
Rebecca

Let's get this out of the way right now: Rebecca should NOT wear a maternity dress to this wedding. Maternity clothes, particularly dresses and skirts, only fit correctly when there is an actual baby inside to hold the front in place. Even though a squishy, post-baby tummy often feels like it's the same size it was before the baby came out, the clothes won't drape properly and Rebecca will look like she's wearing an ill-fitting tent. Instead, Rebecca wants to choose an outfit that will both flatter her post-baby body AND be comfortable and easy to nurse in. It would also be nice if she could find something that she will be able to wear more than once.

Rebecca should look for a dress designed specifically for nursing mothers; this will be the most practical and comfortable option for her, particularly since at five weeks, she and her baby may still be working on getting their nursing groove going. One good option is a wrap dress; the one pictured above, from Motherwear, comes with a discreet underlayer with nursing openings. A wrap dress is a flattering choice for women with a little extra in the tummy; the V neck and the diagonal line of the wrap distracts from the mid section. This is also a dress that Rebecca could dress up for the wedding (with pretty sandals and a necklace) or dress down for daytime (with ballet flats and a jean jacket). Right now it is on sale for $55.00.

Rebecca could also opt for a dress with an A-line shape, which would support her breasts and skim past her tummy and hips. The dress pictured here is a slightly younger look than the wrap dress; it is a blue and white oxford stripe with eyelet trim. The hemline is also a little shorter. I like the soft, feminine look of this dress; like the wrap dress, I think Rebecca could easily wear it again, although maybe not for every day. Dress from Motherwear, currently on sale for $50.00.

A third option is a slip dress; the one pictured below, from Glamourmom, is a cotton/elastane blend and has adjustable straps and a built-in nursing bra. A dress like this is classic and beautiful, but may be better for smaller-breasted girls. Rebecca could top the dress with a light-weight cardigan or shawl. Again, this is a piece that she can wear for the wedding AND after. The slip dress is $49.00 and comes in black and ruby red.

Rebecca asked about what size to buy, and honestly, this is the toughest part of her question because it is impossible right now to predict what size she will be wearing five weeks out from her delivery. I would not suggest she buy anything just yet; instead, she should keep her eyes open for dresses that appeal to her. None of the dresses pictured here are terribly expensive; all will be under $75.00, even with the shipping.

So when should Rebecca actually shop? I would say that about two weeks after the baby is born (when she's really tired and hormonal!) Rebecca will be able to make a good guess at what size she needs. I would encourage her to order more than one dress, and in more than one size--go one size larger AND one size smaller than what she thinks she will need. If she's actually going to GO to the store and try things on, do the same (but really, it will be easier to order on line and try things on at home, when the baby is sleeping or being loved on by another responsible adult).

Susan Wagner writes about fashion at Friday Style and about everything else at Friday Playdate. She bought a dress for her brother's wedding three weeks after her first baby was born.