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At the beginning of May I wrote a post here on BlogHer entitled: Tributes for Mothers: A (re)definition where I asked women (or men if they were so inclined) to share a tribute with us about their mothers or the people in their lives who were like a mother to them. Remembering that mother is just as much a verb than a noun, I was touched by the responses that people gave me.
Coffee Queen of Savvy Moms wrote a beautiful tribute for mothers-to-be. But not the mothers-to-be that you may be thinking of. In her words:
A friend once sent me an email that made Mother’s Day much more bearable. She wrote, “You deserve to celebrate Mother’s Day because you are already a mother in your heart.†So for all of those women out there struggling to get pregnant, or stay pregnant, I say to you: You deserve to be honored on this day as much as I do. You are already a mother in your heart, and one day the treatment will work, the pregnancy will stay healthy, the biological mother will choose you, or your paperwork will finally be approved. And until it happens (and for some women, I know it won’t), I wish you peace on this Mother’s Day and every one hereafter.
Shel brought me to tears with how she ran with this. She didn't post an entry on her blog. Rather, she posted an entry on the message board Young Widowed Parents. Her words really caught the spirit of what I was trying to convey with my original post. I wanted to reach through my computer and hug her tight. I wanted to hug all of them.
There is a blog I frequent written by a remarkable woman. Today she writes about Mother's Day. I marvel at how well she "gets it" and I had to share because sometimes we widdas can be so critical of "outsiders." I was so touched by her post, and as I read I was awestruck thinking of my widower-brothers. You menfolk take a lot of crap--from your kids, from your extended families, and sometimes from us widows. If you have daughters, well double kudos to you. You have to deal with all sorts of girl stuff you never thought you would. Tampax and bra shopping was supposed to be mom's job after all.
In case no one else has told you, I think you need to hear the words:
Dad, I'm proud of you for all you do for your family. I know it isn't easy, and I know you do it anyway. No, you're not perfect and yes, you wish you were better. But you are good enough and I am proud of you.
Dads, I am proud of you, too. Moms who do it alone, I am proud of you as well. Wow. Shel, thank you for sharing this with the rest of us.
Gem at My So Called Homeschool Life spoke of her sister who has been mothering people her entire life, from the children who she nannied to the working in a nursing home giving loving mothering to people who needed it there. Gem's admiration and tribute to her sister Shar is so touching.
Shar has often dispaired of ever having kids of her own, that she would be raising other people's kids into her old age. In my comment at Jen's I said I always got my sister a card for Mothers' Day. It would probably be more accurate to say that I always wanted to get her a card for Mothers' Day. But what kind of card can you get? I didn't want to make her feel bad that she wasn't a "real" mother. I usualy got a "thinking of you" card, or "proud of you" card. But this year, will be getting 'real' mother's day cards - her very own son is 4 months old now. You've seen pictures of him, she's RJ's mommy! It's much more real to her now, but she is the mommy she is to him because the mommy she has been to so many other kids over the years.
Mata at Time's Fool (and editor here at BlogHer) contributed a post about her two "other moms" that really nailed the spirit of the tribute call out.
I'd like to use some space today to talk about my two "other Moms"
