Public Service Announcement: Help Girls Achieve Their Dreams

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When I was in India in March, I saw girls like this everywhere I went. They lived in unsafe conditions, and many girls who were younger than this one were wandering the streets they called home only half dressed. It was devastating. And that is why I am so touched by My Free Implants plea to “help girls” get “free boob jobs.” No cause is worthier, and clearly this girl in a pile of rubble would agree.

For as little as $1.80 (less than a cup of coffee at Starbucks!), “benefactors” can help women achieve their body goals through their contributions to My Free Implants. You’ll get pictures of the women you help in the outfit of your choice, can watch them on webcams, and even send them messages. Several woman have already raised over $5,000! Thank god jerk off material ranks so highly on people’s priority lists! Really, it is a tragedy of epic proportions to think that there are women out there who want completely unnecessary surgery to live up to insane feminine standards of “sexiness” and can’t afford it! Even with a myriad of E-Z financing options, some ladies can’t get fake tits! Can you believe the injustice?!?! It brings a fuckin’ tear to my eye, really it does.

I know that there are organizations like Save the Children or CARE that are lame enough to think that ending homelessness, starvation, violence, and disease are more important causes than helping “the girl of YOUR dreams get the body of her dreams.” Obviously, they know nothing. Don’t be fooled. Help girls today by giving them free breast implants and other cosmetic procedures, and the world will be a better, more beautiful place.

Suzanne is a misanthrope who also blogs at Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants

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