In my first post about long distance relationships (LDRs), I looked at people who had been through—or are currently going through—this type of situation. Now my blog-friend Alynda is preparing to say goodbye to her boyfriend for 5-6 months before she joins him in England next year. She considers herself a strong, non-clingy type of girl, but she can’t help worrying about what to expect. This made me wonder what people who have been through an LDR have to say about coping strategies.

Here’s what Alynda had to say recently:

Yes, I'm apprehensive about it all but when it comes down to it? I'm supportive. I know the reasons behind his leaving so early. I know it's for 'us' in the long run and that I'll join him eventually and that everything happens for a reason.

It's going to be horrible without him here for five-six months. I can't even begin to imagine how weird it will be not being able to see him whenever I feel like it, I can't even comprehend the thought of us being a 'long distance relationship' yet. But as scary as it all is right now and will be in the future, deep down I know that it will all be okay. I understand how things are happening, and I'm comfortable with them.

I'm happy taking a risk, and ultimately doing all of this together.

I imagine Alynda’s feelings are pretty close to those of Vivacemusica:

When I told a friend last week that I might not see my boyfriend for another two months, she said that I had a lot of willpower. That’s not it at all. It’s not willpower when it’s an internal knowledge that I’m better for having him in my life, for those moments when I feel completely safe and content in his arms.

Simoun offers this advice:

First and foremost, establish ground rules. when are you talking? what can you do/ cannot do? Can you see other people?

Maturity is also important. How well can you handle it? How well do you trust yourself and the other person? Do not fight over small problems. Because you can't talk as often you as you two want, problems tend to be magnified. Screw the small problems and save the fighting for the really important issues.

This is from Macabreday. (I’m using an abbreviated version; read the entire post for the full text.)

Trust is the Key
You need to trust them blindly and this can be a very hard thing to come by, especially if you have had your trust broken in the past. Know for a fact that your partner would not let you down and be assured that your partner believes the same of you.

No Conditions
Never use statements like, "I will trust you if you call me everyday." Or, "I will trust you if you mail me everyday." Remember that your partner is not your hostage.

Be Honest, and Do Not
Being far away from our partner does not ever grant us the right to do what we want. This is what I do: when ever I am in doubt, I ask myself how I would feel if my partner did what I was going to do. Would I approve her doing it? No. Would I feel hurt if she did it? Yes. Then I have no right to go ahead with what ever I was going to do.

No answer? Don't Panic
Ever tried calling your partner and all the phone did was ring on and on? Your partner could be at work. The phone would have run out of battery or it may have been on silent mode. Maybe they did not hear it, and hey, maybe they did not want to talk to you that day. Is there a rule that I missed that states that your partner should be willing to speak to you when ever you want to?

Ever Felt Misunderstood?
Its very easy to misunderstand your partners tone over the phone. You can always tune words into what you want to hear and in that process the real meaning gets lost. Honestly, there is nothing much we can do about this.

Always Clarify
Do not jump into a conclusion by listening to the words of a third person. Always clarify it with your partner and be careful to not use an accusing tone. You are not accusing them, but only clarifying what you heard and setting it straight.

Frustrated? Suck it up.
Physical closeness is such an important part of any relationship and when that is missing, it could throw the system into chaos. But do you want to give it all up because of some temporary frustrations?

Space it Out
Frustrations and fights happen. Don't be in a hurry to resolve it. [D]ifferent people have different time spans before that are ready to resolve. So respect your partners space.

Surprise. Always Does Magic
Do things that are unexpected. Send a snail mail. Trust me, nothing beats the feeling of receiving something that was hand written by your partner. Plan a surprise call when your partner is not expecting one. You can also send some packages occasionally that would surprise your partner. The scope of surprises are unlimited. Be creative and put an extra conscious effort into it always.

Believe, for it Shall Pass
The distance is not permanent. It shall pass in due time. Don't ever give up on something so precious, because of distance. How bad can a few months or years be? You both have a lifetime together.

Maleki posts an article by a woman named Jennifer Good, who gives advice on how to close the intimacy gap in a long distance relationship. (This is another abbreviated version; read the entire post for the full text.)

1. Voice Memos
Nothing can bridge the gap like the sound of your partner's voice. Voice memos are one of the easiest and cost effective ways to achieve this. You can send your partner a voice memo key chain...You can get a voice memo photo frame...You can get a personal recorder and just say random thoughts about your day to your partner and send it to them at the end of the week.

2. Daily Journal/Blog
[S]ign up for a free blog somewhere and send your partner the username and password. Use this tool as a way to frequently communicate with each other about your daily life and thoughts. If you don't have access to a blog, write a little something about your day each night. At the end of the week, mail your partner the letters.

3. Web Cam Dates
Frequently arrange a set time for these dates. Take turns planning on what you'll talk about or do. Some couples have used these as an opportunity to share a romantic candlelit dinner, watch a movie together or even play games such as Battleship.

4. Shared Moments
Once a day, stop and do the same thing at the exact same time. You could gaze at the stars, say a little prayer for your partner, send an instant message or take the time to write to each other.

5. Let it Grow
[Send] each other a plant to take care of. As the plant grows, press leaves or flowers to send to each other in your mailings. When the long distance aspect of your relationship ends, plant them side by side at your new dwelling.

6. Scrapbook of Our Relationship
Whenever you are together take LOTS of pictures. After you separate again collect the pictures and put them in an album. Write little notes about how you were feeling during the certain times the photographs were taken and tuck them under or next to the photograph. Make two copies and send one to your partner.

7. Journal of Love Letters
[M]ake sure you are both sending letters to each other, even if by e-mail. Every so often, compile your communications and put them in a journal format. If you can, send your partner a copy of the journal as well.

8. Make it Personal
Send your partner an item of clothing or something personal that they can see or wear daily. It should be something that you use frequently that will instantly remind them of you.

9. Framed Pictures
Let your face be the first thing they see each morning and the last each night. Make an effort to send framed pictures to your partner whenever possible. I'd try for a new one each month. You can make it more creative as well by having each picture reflect something about each month.

10. The Scent of Love
One of the most effective ways to trigger an emotion is through the use of scent. When sending something to your partner, spray a bit of your cologne or perfume on it.

Does anyone else have long-distance strategies for success?

Contributing Editor Zandria also blogs at Keep Up With Me.