I had an issue with someone's behavior last week who was in a position to make a decision that impacts my life. I also wasn't in a position to do much about it. So as in most situations where I have no control over the outcome and wish I did, I complained for awhile. I switched up my pitch and expression from time to time and used a few fifty-cent words just to keep everyone on the edge of their seats. A friend of mine who was listening against his will (but who is such an all-around awesome trooper that he'll even try to act interested unless it gets really bad), said, "Oh, come on.

Did you really expect anything different from her? THIS IS HOW IT ALWAYS IS."

"NO, I didn't expect anything different, and that's the problem - because I want to be able to!" I said. "Everyone just goes along with her craziness: 'Oh that's just the way it is, there she goes, with the craziness, oh ho-hum, what can we do. Isn't she cute when she acts out?'"

And I told him - ranting now - that when we do that, when we except the status quo regardless of its dysfunction, we're saying that kind of behavior is okay with us - that it's acceptable. We're avoiding the fabled elephant in the living room, when really we ought to kick it out to the backyard (nicely even, with peanuts, but get it out of there, why don'tcha?) And that acting like this with people in my actual environment feels uncomfortably like when I come home from work and the news chatter begins. I hear on the television that another convoy got blown up and 47 (the "official" number, anyway) people were killed in Iraq, or that there were more prisoners taken whose blurry images we'll see until they either get killed or released in some last-minute random act of who knows what. And oh, by the way, another kid was killed in a shooting or in an act of domestic violence. And another overrated celebrity made a tragic life choice and it overshadows all things that actually have an impact on the world. And when I hear these things, I find increasingly that I don't really listen, and I go on about my night, just a little bit numbed out, but none the worse - apparently - for the wear.

I told him that I don't want to be part of this problem on a large or a small level, that I was kind of getting tired of it, and asked if that made sense. He said it did, but it might have been because I was a little more riled up than usual and hey, it was time to go to lunch.

Later that day, I kid you not, I read the announcement about Blogher's Act. I've thought and read about it daily since it was announced, and the submission deadline is today, so I suppose I should speak up. I've been a contributing editor at Blogher for a year and a half now, a lucky break that has helped me to become much more confident about my own place in any number of conversations. I don't think I'd be returning to school to pursue my master's in journalism if I hadn't literally found the words through this work and all the places it's taken me, people it's put in my path, and thoughts it's made me think. So even more than usual, the ideas and the people involved have inspired me to want to find the right words. It's that important.

Maybe that's why it hasn't been easy for me to put all I'm thinking into writing this time around. I had written this post at the end of May, when Cindy Sheehan pulled out of the protest she had waged since her son was killed in Iraq. It spoke to some of my confusion and worry about what my actions could and should be to respond to what I see as some of our nation and our world's more pressing problems. I said,

I think the question on every level is, "What are we doing?" Or, more to the point, "What am I doing?"

So I was really excited when I saw the focus on "action" in this new effort, and curious to see how we could really make it happen. Pam Mandel's recent post "Blogher's Act: On Action" spoke to a lot of my worries, not about picking the "right" or the "most important" issue, but on what I could actually do, firsthand, to impact it once I chose it. The last election and the dragging on of a seemingly impossible war have dragged me down too, along with the daily efforts of living in a world that can seem just a little bit crazy. What would go beyond the surface? What could really make a difference, whatever that might mean?

The first project in BlogHer's Act is to choose a global issue for the BlogHer community to focus on, to try to use social media to raise awareness and affect some change, as I understand it. The second is the creation of an Election '08 Voter Manifesto, which will ask the media and presidential candidates from all parties to answer real questions and address real issues - the questions any candidate must answer if they want to earn our vote next year.

If you could tell the presidential candidates what is most important to you, what are the top four hot button issues you would ask them to address?

Thousands of people have weighed in so far. Leslie Morgan Steiner posted about the project in her Washington Post blog, "On Balance." The Curvature - a Feminist Perspective on Politics and Culture chose rape and sexual assault as the predominant issue for the voter's manifesto, while Reesie thinks it's education. PunditMom's prominent global issue is hunger, along with concerns about the environment, the treatment and placement of kids in foster care, candidates' leanings on Supreme Court nominations, and education for the manifesto.

I've thought it through myself and I believe that the single most important issue that BlogHer has the collective wisdom and passion to support on a global scale is the education of women and children, so they will be better able to support themselves, aware of the opportunities that exist for them, and less likely to submit to unacceptable behavior such as physical and sexual violence. In many places - including in some communities in the United States - women are treated as a commodity and a liability, rather than an asset or simply as individuals with basic human rights. More educated women will be less likely to stand for violence and inequality. I'm well aware that in many cases where women are focused on day-to-day survival, education might seem like a luxury, but in my mind it goes hand-in-hand with, and is a necessary support for, everything that matters the most, whether it's teaching a woman calculus or how to get medical care for her child.

As for the four issues for the Voter Manifesto, here are mine:

Again, education and opportunity for all, at whatever level is possible and desired, should be a fundamental priority. This does not include just four-year college and universities for traditional age students, but a focus on alternatives such as community college education, workforce development and support for career changers. Many occupations are shifting due to changes in technology and an economy that is based on what you know, increasingly, and not so much on what you know how to do. There are plenty of highly educated people in this country who are underemployed, and people without formal educations who don't know what their opportunities are.

The cost of higher education is rising dramatically, and students are increasingly reliant upon student loans that can lead them into years of debt and out of careers that pay less but might be more personally and professionally fulfilling, as well as more beneficial to the country.

Health care - affordable and accessible for all - is a critical priority. Insurance companies.

A foreign policy that looks beyond domination to building relationships and focusing on the future of this country in the context of other emerging economic superpowers in the world, as opposed to a cowboy nation seeking to impose our culture in places where it is not wanted or appropriate.

And finally, a national focus on civility regardless of color, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, level of physical, mental or emotional ability is my dream issue on a manifesto of any sort. I know this is a bit more abstract and difficult to measure at the ballot box, but it underscores many of our most basic problems in building community and reaching consensus, anywhere from our offices to the Department of Motor Vehicles to returning an article of clothing. In a society and a time where people are inclined to flip you off on the highways, and shout personal details in your ear on a cellphone conversation while standing thisclose to you in the grocery store check-out line, something fundamental seems to be missing, or at the very least eroding.

Have you seen When the Levees Broke? The failure to protect and rescue some of our most needy citizens from the largest natural disaster in the continental United States was a failure of civility as well as a failure of government. People dying in wheelchairs outside a football stadium - a symbol of the displacement of millions of dollars every year into the wrong priorities - is uncivilized, unfair, and wrong on a basic level that should be learned in kindergarten.

I'm a huge believer in leadership with vision. My strong sense of stupid idealism will not allow me to believe that we're past the point where it's possible that such a leader can exist in the White House. Maybe I'm wrong, because I don't know what sane person would run for President at this point. Who would want that scrutiny? I say often that I wish Oprah would run, and I'm only half-joking. She has charisma, and clearly vision as well, and also a way of focusing on the best in people, and supporting those who need it when the chips are down. People listen to her. They buy what she tells them to buy, and read what she tells them to read. (Read: hopefully with some personal judgment as to whether they'll like it or not!) That tells me there's some power in her positivity.

I would love to have a leader who checked in occasionally and said, "It's hard out there. Be good to one another." A general lack of connection to other human beings, to the planet we walk on, and in many ways, to our own sense of self has, in my fragile and humble opinion, led us into many of our blind spots in spite of our amazing advancements and accomplishments. People are starving for connection and community. People are not always nice to each other. I am not always nice, myself, and I wish I was. I don't need a President to tell me to do it, but a new and improved, right-on-the-money Fireside - or maybe HDTV-side - chat couldn't hurt.

I look forward to being a part of this project and no matter what the issues are that are officially chosen on our "ballot", the initiative has already, in some basic and crucial ways, kicked off its mission. And as far as my concerns about what kind of impact I can have, in this case I'm satisfied that the effort will have positive ends that justify these collective, very well-intentioned, passionate and committed means. The elephant might at least get moved to the side yard if not completely off the property, and I'll try to expect something at least a little bit different. I'm awake, I've got a few fifty-cent words to spare, and I'm ready to go.

Laurie White blogs at LaurieWrites.