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By day, Nina sells software, but her real estate investments have grown to become a significant part of her financial plan and also a great passion. A...
 
 
 
 

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Ten Money Questions for Cynthia Friedlob

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In this week’s Ten Money Questions we speak with Cynthia Friedlob. Cynthia blogs as The Thoughtful Consumer and last year wrote, Sorting It Out: One Disorganized Woman Solves the Problem of Too Much Stuff, a book about her efforts to unclutter her home and simplify her life. Since “stuff” costs money, I wanted her thoughtful views on spending, consuming and less equals more. Enjoy what follows!

1. Step 2 of your 3-step plan to reclaim our long-lost consumer sanity is to distinguish between need and want when buying. Isn’t everything a want after the basics of food, clothing and shelter?
Technically, that’s true. But let’s take that concept to its extremes. Consider a homeless woman living in a cardboard box in an alley, wearing the only clothing she has, living off of scraps of food scrounged from trash cans and the occasional meal in a shelter. She may have enough to stay alive, but none of us would consider her someone who’s having those basic needs of food, clothing and shelter adequately met. So, assuming there’s some way for her to earn enough money for more of anything (already a big assumption), how much more does she “need?” A room to live in? An apartment? A house? A wardrobe? How many items of clothing? From the local mall or from a designer boutique? Enough money to buy food at the neighborhood grocery store? Enough to buy organic food? Enough for occasional imported chocolates?

Now let’s consider the other end of the extreme. I just wrote a post in which I made a reference to a woman who estimated that she owned five hundred pairs of shoes. I think I’d be hard pressed to find anyone who could explain the “need” for five hundred pairs of shoes and I would hope that the majority of us would question why anyone would even “want” that many. But at what point did this shopper want “too many” shoes? At five pair? Ten? Fifty?

There’s a gap, no, there’s a huge chasm between the people in those two circumstances. The tricky issue is defining where the line is that separates “need” from “want.” I think it’s a pretty wide line, somewhere in the middle of that chasm, and everyone falls on a different place on it. I advocate choosing to land on the part of the wide line where your needs are met well enough to make you feel safe and comfortable, you’re able to function in your job and your social life, but you own far fewer than five hundred pairs of shoes. The operative word is “choosing” and that requires awareness. I believe that most of us “need” far less than we think we do and we often “want” things without analyzing why we want them.

But I don’t personally advocate what is usually considered a minimalist lifestyle. I’ll leave that to No Impact Man! It would be hypocritical of me to suggest that everyone should give up most of their creature comforts and abandon the trappings of civilization. I like many of those trappings! Our big screen TV is a wonderful thing, however I don’t delude myself into believing that it’s a need.

I think that’s really what The Thoughtful Consumer is about: not deluding ourselves about what we need. I’d simply like us to think, seriously consider our choices, before we buy something. I’d like us to think of other ways we might use that money that could be wiser or more satisfying in the long run. I’d like us to become aware if we’re shopping mindlessly or as an escape, or if we’re using “stuff” as a way to validate ourselves; awareness is the first step to finding an alternative that’s more appropriate. I’d like us to be as generous as we can, whenever we can. And I’d like us to understand how our shopping choices and our perceptions of what we supposedly need are profoundly influenced by advertising and marketing. If we do these things, I believe that we’ll make much better choices -- better for us personally, for society and for the environment.

By the way, notice I said “us.” I, too, am not immune to self-delusion or clever marketing tactics or poor choices. I just try very hard to minimize my errors!

2. What is your most significant memory about money?
When I first moved to Los Angeles thirty years ago, like many young people, I was on a

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biggirlblue 5 pts

This was very motivating and informative. Thank you. It reinforced some things I've been mulling lately.

Moe
BigGirlBlue ( http://biggirlblue.blogspot.com/ )
Large & Lovely ( http://largeandlovely.bellaonline.com/ )

"Women are going to form a chain, a greater sisterhood than the world has ever known." ~Nellie McClung, 1916

The Thoughtful Consumer 5 pts

Thanks, Moe. I'm glad you found the interview helpful.

I've enjoyed Nina's "Ten Money Questions for . . ." series and now I'm pleased to be a part of it.

Cynthia Friedlob

Link Text ( http://thethoughtfulconsumer.blogspot.com )The Thoughtful Consumer

Lia Hadley 5 pts

Cynthia, thank you for the very much for giving such interesting answers. I will certainly ponder upon your ideas.

The distinction between “needing” and “wanting” is very valid. If we were all just a little bit more diligent and honest with ourselves while out shopping, we could possibly save ourselves a fair amount of unnecessary (unneeded) expense.

I think there is also an argument for making a distinction between holding on to things, “keeping” and “needing”. We don’t only have focus on future consumerism purchases, but also the past ones. If we were really diligent and honest with ourselves, wouldn’t we do well to part with some of the material items we already own? I have these rules, which I do not keep very well even though they are sound rules: if I do not use it (e.g. a new cooking device (every six months)), wear it (e.g. clothes (in the last two years), shoes (in the last year)), intend to re-read it, then I pass the items on.

This way of looking at things makes buying a wide screen television a good thing in the long run. For, even if it was a “want” and not a “need” at the point of purchase, by using it all the time and deriving pleasure from its beauty or high quality technology it becomes a “keeper”.

You can think of it as creating an ever-changing tide line of material possessions.

lia from luebeck, germany

Author of the media safe 101 ( http://rtb03mediasafe.blogspot.com/ ) page on the Red Tent Blog ( http://virtualredtent.blogspot.com ) and the personal yum yum cafe ( http://yumyumcafe.blogspot.com/ )

The Thoughtful Consumer 5 pts

Thank you, Lia. Glad you enjoyed the interview.

I agree that the "need" and "want" distinction applies to things we already possess.

You've also hit on the important issue of use. If we don't use something, why keep it? "Use" can be defined in a pretty broad way, e.g., technically you don't "use" a piece of art, but if you look at it regularly and enjoy it, that's "using" the art and, therefore, that makes it a valuable item to keep. Or, if you have a family heirloom tucked away in your dresser drawer, but you pull it out every once in awhile and it makes you feel good to see it, it's worth keeping.

Being honest with ourselves is, indeed, the key!

Cynthia Friedlob
Link Text ( http://www.thethoughtfulconsumer.blogspot.com )The Thoughtful Consumer