I am by far, one of the least technologically advanced people you could ever meet. I used to let my VCR clock blink 12:00 for days on end and setting my alarm required an instruction manual and large sized print so that I can find the OFF button. I got my first laptop in the summer of 2001 for college. I never took care of it. It was slow and clunky and it caught every virus under the son. I was a bad computer Mama.

Then you can imagine that my knowledge of Steve Jobs was lacking. In fact, until 2003-ish he could have very well been the mystery reindeer that no one ever talked about or the 8th dwarf. Just some magical, mystical person who could probably turn water into wine; apparently Steve Jobs was Jesus or something close to it. There was a way that people spoke of him and the things he could do and yet I was none the wiser and perfectly content on giving my soul to Michael Dell and Bill Gates even though they repeatedly sucked my soul out of me through a straw.

Over the past year and a half I have turned into an Apple convert. I pray at the alter of Steve Jobs and lament how terrible my life is when I have to go to work and use a PC after using my precious Macbook (named Bordeaux). It’s like I’ve forgotten how to right click and I want to be able to drag and drop images to my desktop and plug something in and then not worry about a 79 minute set up process while I watch my hair grow.

Given how recent my conversion was, I had yet to completely adhere to the fact that everything Steve Jobs touched turned to gold. He was - nay, is - the king of hype and yet I still just couldn't really grasp it. Which led to severe trepidation when the iPhone was first mentioned. As I am easily flummoxed and vexed by new things. I also have this odd oily finger prints all over everything type OCD and so touching the screen repeatedly, all the time, or else suffer having a phone and staring at it blankly, made me a little nervous (it comes with a little cleaning cloth if you were equally as nervous).

Over the past several days, I’ve been reading and re-reading various reviews. Absorbing and literally becoming positively giddy from all the information from Apple obsessive consumers:

“If Apple made sliced bread, yeah, I’d buy it.” said Andrew Kaputsa, who waited outside the Michigan Avenue Apple store in Chicago. “It’s just good stuff. Everything they touch.”

To Slate’s Tim Wu:

Not yet. The iPhone's style and user interface are pathbreaking, and (as the iPod proved) aesthetics do matter. But the iPhone is—so far—not a product that will turn any industry inside out. Seen as a phone, the iPhone is striking. Seen as a small computer, it's limited, and compromised by the existing business models of the wireless industry. Saying the iPhone is a pointless gadget is a bit too strong. But it isn't yet a revolutionary device.

To Min Jung Kim's snarky look at the iPhone:

And yes, I cooed a little at it. It responded so sweetly to my touch. Made cute whirly noises and impressed and surprised me with how responsive, intuitive, and clever the little bugger was. And then I put it away. Because, well, it didn't belong to me. And I wasn't going to get one of my own anytime soon.

To New York Time’s David Pogue:

On the iPhone, you don’t check your voice mail; it checks you. One button press reveals your waiting messages, listed like e-mail. There’s no dialing in, no password — and no sleepy robot intoning, “You...have...twenty...one...messages.”

That last review – knowing that I wouldn’t have to endure a painful, seizure inducing, claw my face off, monotonous voicemail system – is what has brought me to counting down the days until my Verizon contract ends (481 days). Also, it just looks so pretty. I’m a girl, I like pretty and precious and cute and oh my hell, the interface. I’ve long subjected myself to crackberries, so this really wouldn’t be much different. Except, much like I do with my Macbook, I’ll probably sleep with my iPhone gently tucked in beside me. Let’s just say I’ve gone from “How exactly does one go from TV mode to DVD player mode?” to “Look at the sexy interface and I might lick the screen.” I’ve fully converted and have been seriously sipping on the Apple koolaid. The King of Hype has lived up to his name. Jobs has a business model that has been overwhelmingly successful: He'll hype, the consumer obsesses and possibly drools. The end. Obviously it's not 100% perfect - rarely is it ever the first time out, but imperfections be damned, it’s going to be a really, really long 481 days.
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BlogHer CE, Heather B., also blogs at No Pasa Nada. If you can get her out of a Verizon contract for free, email her.