I do understand - some people just have different embarassment-boundaries.

At one point I did find that a female OB/GYN was more receptive to hearing and investigating my symptoms than a male OB/GYN. The male Dr said that I should come back in 6 months and not worry. I went to a female Dr immediately. Within two weeks I was having a complete hysterectomy for a particularly lethal kind of cancer, and followup radiation at Sloan-Kettering in NYC. Was this because of a different style of listening between men and women? Was it that a woman would see some symptoms as more urgently needing attention than a man? I don't know for sure, but I DO know that changing Drs. saved my life.

It has also been my experience that a female OB/GYN will use a pre-warmed speculum more than a male DR will. Sometimes it's the little things :-)

Mata H

blogging tirelessly at Time's Fool

My dear wonderful aunt who always delights with her colorful southern expressions explained her demand for a female gyno this way. "You wouldn't want a mechanic who had never driven a car, would you?"

I do love her so.

I first went to the gyno when I was like 16, and my mom took me to her doc. I didn't like him, and I guess I found the whole thing mildly uncomfortable, so for a long time after that, while I was younger, I waited FOREVER to schedule appointments with a woman doc.

Then recently, the only doc would give me an IUD was a man. You know what, he's the best gyno I've ever had. I feel totally comfortable and I really like him. So ultimately, I guess it doesn't matter, but I would guess that for that first visit at a younger age, maybe a woman helps it all be a little less scary.

I spent a long time using Planned Parenthood as my sole means of medical care, before I had any health insurance. Most of the doctors there were women. I imagine that my experiences there had more to do with people working under stressful and underfunded conditions, but I almost always had unhelpful, uninterested female doctors.

In my experience, the female doctors were more likely to blow off my experience. The female doctors were universally unwilling to believe that my experience could be significantly different than theirs. (Apparently, many women don't have pain receptors in their cervix. I do.)

When I finally got health insurance through work, I was assigned a General Practitioner who also did Women's Health (including PAPs and such), and who also happened to be a man. He was kind, thoughtful, always willing to listen to my petty questions and take them seriously. He has no choice but to take my word for my experiences. He can't think to himself, "well, yes, I had really bad cramps once, but it only lasted a day, I bet she'll be fine." He has to assume that when I say something is unbearable, that means something needs to be done about it.

So my guess is that it has more to do with finding a good doctor than with gender. Or at least, that's what my experience leads me to believe.

DeAnna
Milking It

*puts on groucho glasses and slinks in*

OK, my post isn't on OB/GYN experiences and preferences...

it's on general preference.

When I first sought out a therapist, and I was exceedingly careful in this, one of the criteria was a preference for women. And at the same time, there was also a need for a doctor and or endocrinologist to handle things physical and hormonal. Again my preference was for a woman.

Why? Because of my background, my experiences, my general understanding. All of this is rather generic, there are great men doctors, not so great women doctors, but in general... women are more understanding and receptive to what I would be discussing, digging into, dealing with. And for this reason, I am far more comfortable interacting with women than men.

For me, at that stage, even at this stage, this is still... essential.

Crossing The Great Divide

What it comes down to who is the patient, why are they there, and what helps them to find the path to what they need?

My srs doctor is male (Dr. Bouchard) but he has an established track record of interacting with this community, of being supportive... and I don't have to share my innermost thoughts with him, he just needs to get this done when the time comes.

Of course there are women out there who abuse women, who are gruff, etc. I am certain my doctor would rub some the wrong way... ok, for those who would care to know, picture this...

she looks a great deal like Estelle Getty of Golden Girls, she talks like her, and has the same damn attitude. She will tell you exactly what she thinks, and she often uses rather colourful language in the process...

but as with someone else I know, she tells you what you need to hear, not necessarily what you want to hear. And she is a damn good endo... who knows my therapist, so that is bonus points.

Choose a therapist wisely. Some can do great harm. We both know someone who had a therapist who spent the time talking about herself, not letting her patient share.

Still, for me, women will dig deeper, will find ways to get you to dig out what is inside of you, get you to share. Of course trained therapists, good ones, will do this... but most guys will not, in fact they run like the wind the other way from any attempt at this.

Crossing The Great Divide

But, in my opinion, it's one area of my life where I will reserve the right to discriminate all I want. As an employer, I would hire the best qualified candidate whether they're gay, black, female, male, Asian, whatever. But a doctor is someone with whom you have a relationship that is not intimate, per se, but with whom you must have intimate discussions and show them intimate parts of your body. It's MY nether regions so I, and I alone, get to decide who sees them.

Personally I have a male doctor, but I wouldnt' feel the slightest bit of guilt if I decided tomorrow that I wanted a female doctor instead. Basically, although it could be considered discriminatory to refuse to be seen by doctors of a particular gender, but I place more importance on my level of comfort with my doctor.