I am a diva. Plain and simple. But see, I got married to this redneck and it's been all downhill from there.

Now I still consider myself a diva, but with just enough redneck in me that I occasionally get a hankerin' to put myself in a car and drive into an arena to intentionally smash into other cars, teach my children about the finer things in life like tractor pulls and which indian casino pays out best, worry my mother to death that I'm going to end up hacked up into pieces and stuffed into a 55-gallon barrel because of the evil internet around which I run amuck daily and embarrass my husband to death by writing about it all on my blog.