Huh. Another good option for women might be to quit the dieting and stressing and buying into beauty myths, and look to support companies who make bathing suits for women of ALL sizes. Or just go swimming in shorts and a tshirt or whatever is comfortable.

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Liz Henry
lizzard@bookmaniac.net
http://liz-henry.blogspot.com

I don't like to subscribe to the beauty myth either, but I wouldn't discourage women to stop dieting and eating sensibly and healthily. Is it ok for us to be self-indulgent, eat whatever we like and pay no attention to our health? I don't think so. Do we have an excuse for allowing ourselves to get fat when there are people in the world who have nothing to eat? I don't think so. Does it feel good to be overweight and sluggish. Certainly not - beauty myth or not.

At 5ft 5" tall the safe range for my BMI starts at 152 lbs. Anything above that is overweight and not healthy. Except in a few medical circumstances, there is no excuse for being overweight. It is the result of having behaved self-indulgently, and we all have a responsibility to try and refrain from indulgence, difficult as that may be for us.

Becks & Posh

Liz, even though The Beauty Myth was one of my all time favorite books, I can attest from experience that being thin is better than being fat. It's not just about the looks aspect of it; that's just a nice side benefit. But when you weigh something that's appropriate for your frame, you have more energy, you are more productive, you have less chance of getting major illnesses, and people simply treat you better. It may rankle our feminist bones, but people judge us by the way we look, so we should empower ourselves to look as good as we can, without resorting to unhealthy measures or overemphasizing looks in such a way that they become more of a focus than what we are doing in our lives.

Kalyn Denny
Kalyn's Kitchen

Does that mean I "should" strive to make more money, even if that's not a goal that works for me right now? Does people judging us by the way we look mean that I should start wearing makeup (ecchh!), because most people will then think I look better? If it's "not just about the looks aspect" then why are women told we should look as good as we can because people will judge us by it?

For some women, eating healthier is a goal that works for them right now. They have the desire, time, energy, resources, information, and support to make what is often a major life change. Others do not.

I think Kalyn is doing a good service by sharing resources for women to get information about healthy weight loss. I'm also glad that she found something that worked for her on a goal she had for herself.

But generalizations like "It's never too late to get healthier and skinnier" and "I can attest from experience that being thin is better than being fat" don't really honor the reality that many women have different goals, experiences, and priorities.

Offer what you know to be helpful to those with similar goals, but don't assume everyone shares them.

And while there may not be many "excuses" for being overweight, there are a good many reasons. It's not as simple as indulgence either.

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Flooded Lizard Kingdom

Skye, I don't think I was assuming that everyone shares the goal of losing weight. To me it was pretty clear that the piece was aimed at people who want to lose weight. But I don't agree that people judge us by how much money we make in the same way that they judge us by our weight.

I wasn't saying it is proper or that we ourselves should feel it dimishes our worth, but I'm sorry, when you are fat every person you meet notices that first every time they see you. It's a subconscious thing, but it affect every interaction you have with people. Because of that I don't apologize for saying "Being thin is better than being fat." I can't imagine any woman has a goal of being fat, enjoys the experience of being fat, or sets a priority of being dismissed by a huge percentage of the people she comes into contact with.

I also don't think the choice whether or not to wear make-up (and both are valid) is even remotely comparable to the choice of whether or not to take care of your health by maintaining an appropriate weight. Trying to do what you can to make your body support the strong person you are inside is simply a form of self-care. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Kalyn Denny
Kalyn's Kitchen

There is way more to it than self-indulgence: try overwork for instance. Work and exhaustion contribute to the time left over and available for physical activity. Caloric intake may remain the same but if physical activity decreases then weight gain results. In this case, the answer to restoring health is especially not dieting - reducing calories in times of stress is not a good choice - but the goal should be removing the barriers to previous activity. Especially when eating is so tied to social and oral pleasure, why should a woman torture herself so she can "look good" by some underweight fashion model standard?

Healthy living is not about counting calories and restricting food but about finding a balance between rest, healthy food, moving a body around, and love for one's self and the people and space around us. When I'm faced with a post like this and some of the comments here I see how little effect feminism has really had and am saddened by how much people continue to buy into traps like "swimsuit season".

Although I try not to make any judgment without grounds, I am more likely to judge someone based on their spirit and outlook than on their appearance and I have plenty of evidence that my kids lean this way as well. Maybe I'm one of the few who took "Free to be you and me" to heart. Or maybe it's because I'm a fan of Nomy Lamm who has done a fabulous job of showing "fat" to be just another systemic oppression faced by women. Do you really dismiss a woman based on how she looks in a bathing suit?

When I go to the beach it's for fun: to play, to enjoy the sand, the sun, the birds, the water...whether I'm with friends or alone. What I'm wearing is not a priority for me. I'll wear what makes me comfortable and I know that when I'm comfortable I move well and hold myself strong - regardless if I have any "extra" pounds. Keep in mind that ideal bodies change over time, place, person, and lifestyle and there is hardly a historical or global model for what defines good healthy body shape. That extra is not necessarily extra.

I am so glad to hear so many voices denouncing the Beauty myth. I have sadly seen a lot of really bright, incredible women spend a huge portion of their time and energy fretting over their bodies.

I'd love to make a difference in the habits of friends and acquaintances. I was fortunate to have parents who were very health conscious and credit them with my better habits, others haven't been as lucky.

I try not to be preachy, but just pleasant when someone asks if I think she is "fat". I refuse to play the games with my friends that they fall into, I just say hey if you want to exercise for your health this is what I do. Like right now I'm excited about a customized workout program that comes via mail on DVD each month- it is called Push and I'm really enjoying it.