Is censoring your words on your blog "selling out"?

I've only told a few people that I have a blog, my husband and some friends. So I don't feel the need to censor it. If you find my blog and read it then you get what you get. Not really having an audience I just write whatever is on my mind and will occasionally swear. I don't do it often because I find it distracting, but there are times when it gets one's point across. I think selling out is more about content than delivery. You read something because you connect with it in someway. When that's changed to meet a third party's code of conduct you get a "light" version. It like getting "light" ice cream when you were expecting full fat..... Disappointing

Samantha

"The main reason I don't use profanity (besides my mom's criticism of it) is that I feel it detracts from my writing. The same is true of spelling errors and bad grammar."

That's an awesome explanation, Mary. I ditto that.

I refrain from the profane simply because my kids will one day read it, and it's just not my thing. Plus, I personally feel it pushes me to be more creative. I have a column in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch that links to my site. My super-nice editor might have a heart-attack if I began dropping f-bombs like a sailor. Or my mother. You will never behold a woman with a dirtier mouth than my mother.

However, I am fully prepared to discuss farts, nipples (can't say it in the paper, I had to say "chest"), and other things that are part of motherhood and life. I think everyone has their own personal boundaries, I don't think it's selling out.
It's an interesting topic.

Dana
www.mamalogues.com ( http://www.mamalogues.com )

I'm sure if I looked back in my posts I'd find words that are not PG-13 and more toward R, but sometimes I let one go and when I do, it's usually appropriate for that moment.

I will admit, I do try not to use profanity as often as I do in my head or in other moments. I think that has more to do with how I was raised, and if my mom was still alive and reading my blog; how disappointed she'd be in me.

I try to be an upstanding blogging citizen, but sometimes it just needs to be said, ya'know?

I see my personal blog as a reflection of me. So it would not be me if it didn't have some F-bombs and the like sprinkled in. It's not a professional blog, it's a personal blog. Obviously in my professional blogging I stay away from that stuff. But I write as a release, so I can't imagine censoring myself.

That being said, I also change my mind a lot.

Politics & News Contributing Editor
Queen of Spain ( http://qofsandkids.blogspot.com/ )

I may cringe a little more when I hit post if I think about the "newest" readers that I have, but I can't change how I write or what I write about. Even when it is possibly offensive. Mainly because that is rare on my blog. But when I do it, I do it for a reason.

Though, like I said, I cringe at times wondering if it will hurt if "they" are offended. But it is me. What can you do?

~Jenn~
Mommy Needs Coffee ( http://mommyneedscoffee.com ) | Mommybloggers ( http://mommybloggers.com )
BlogHerContributing Editor, Mommy and Family ( http://209.59.186.51/~blogher/?q=blog/jenn-satterw... )

In the early days of my blog when nobody even read it, I cussed as I saw fit but I have definitely toned down my profanity as of late. As much as I adore the versatility of the word "fuck" I seemed to be favoring the "frig" and freakin' versions more and more. I think it might have to do with my attempts to curb my sailor mouth in real life. While I have no issues with adults swearing, I'd really hate for my daughter to be a kid that goes around using profanity. I guess if it helps with the whole syndication thing, so much the better.

For me, the sellout deal is less about profanity and more about what kind of writing "they" are looking for. I read that whole thing on Blogburst and suddenly I feel all this pressure to write better and not be silly or do link love posts or anything that "they" aren't looking for. Does that make one a sellout?

~Izzy ( http://izzymom.com )

Being a humor writer, I love other humor writers. Some are capable of writing which has me rolling on the floor without using any profanity, and others use it sparingly, or in situations where it would be least expected. And some curse like a sailor and have me in stitches.

I am a huge fan of Augusten Burroughs, and am on his mailing list. Yesterday there was an announcement of his new book coming out, called "Possible Side Effects". There was a link to an excerpt, which I am excerpting here, to show the use of a profanity that simply wouldn't have been as funny if changed to anything else.

Visit his site ( http://www.augusten.com/index_flash.html ), read his books, laugh yourself silly and enjoy life.

This excerpt involves his grandmother telling him about the Tooth Fairy, a previously undisclosed entity, as his parents had never told him about the Tooth Fairy.
The potential appearance of this money-wielding, tooth-stealing intruder terrifies him.

From "Possible Side Effects"
Then I climbed back into bed and prayed to Jesus.
At this point, I wasn't sure where I stood, Jesus-wise.
Although my parents never attended church or mentioned Jesus
except when they screamed at each other-and then they used his full name, "Jesus Fucking Christ" - they did explain that he was a man who lived in the sky and granted wishes to certain people.
People he liked.
So I prayed. "Dear Jesus. Please keep It out of my room. I promise, promise, promise that I will be honest and very nice to everybody and I love my mother and my father and brother and all my relatives here and over in Cairo, Georgia, and I love everybody that I know and even people I don't know now but will know someday.
And I promise everything. But please keep It out of my room and away from me. Thank you, Jesus Fucking Christ."
Somewhat relieved, but not altogether certain I was safe, I eventually drifted to sleep.

Marti ( http://enterthelaughter.com/ )

I swear, therefore I am...in Tracey's camp -- but save my best cuss words for my hub's ears, only -- and have taken to using alternative cussing, especially around the kids and on my blog, as well.

Frickin'
Friggin'
Flipping

Are my choice words for the "f-bomb" and my most favorite -- if I had to pick one -- would be (and has been) "Mofo!"

Example:

"I can't believe this "frickin'" laundry...does anyone else give a "frig" what this "friggin'" house looks like?...I'm so frickin' bloated and my back hurts like a mofo!...that's it, I've frickin' had it, do your own flipping homework!"

Ah, that felt friggin' good!

--------------------------------------------
For more from Liz Thompson, read:
C.E. Fashion & Shopping ( http://www.blogher.com )
This Full House
( http://thisfullhouse.com )The Imperfect Parent ( http://imperfectparent.com )

Given the title of my humble little blog, it's clear I don't censor myself. My whole family more or less reads it, but it is no worse than anything I would say to them anyway. I try to keep the personal stuff a bit more limited, though, just as LotionBarBunny and MotherGooseMouse note.

Still, it definitely limits my readership, and I know it. I have contemplated many times changing the title, but it always cracks me up and is a fair description of how I feel about the world, so in the end, I lose the readers and keep the nasty words. It definitely leads to me getting a lot of hits from people looking for porn, though. I like to imagine how annoyed they get when they realize they will definitely not get what they are looking for at a site about unshaved snatch. It amuses me to no end. I figure ya win some, ya lose some.

Suzanne ( http://www.blogher.com/member/suzanne ), BlogHer Contributing Editor - Travel & Recreation ( http://www.blogher.com/topic/travel-recreation )
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS)& Other Rants ( http://cussandotherrants.com/ )

I'm willing to take the middle path: tone it down slightly, but not OMIT. Anything I write would not be me -- authentic, genuine -- without shit, damn, crap, hell and fuck.

Then again, we can turn motherfucker into mofo, or fuck into f**k -- that's a tactic I think I'll be deploying frequently.

xo trace
++++++++++
sweetney.com ( http://www.sweetney.com )
email me ( sweetney@sweetney.com )

I'd add another reason for blogging... to give form to thoughts, to contemplate, to write for the joy writing brings.

There are probably an infinite number of reasons to blog and such, and an equally infinite number of approaches and outlook to what goes on it... for me, a limited read blog and written for those very reasons listed above, advertising would never make it's way there. It's not my purpose or need. For another, absolutely.

What goes on there comes out of me, all parts of me, and sometimes that goes deep. It's not written in the language of my college days, the flow is more natural, with different adjectives used to describe feeling, beyond references to body parts, sexual activity, and bodily functions. But there might be a time where such words are fitting and appropriate for the story being told...

I have three styles of writing. During the day, writing legal determinations, there is this straightforward, to the point, and written to be understood style. I've got but eight lines in an old DOS type program to get it all in (unless I do a manual determination, which takes much longer.) There is what I used in responses such as this, on messages boards and such... and there is when I write from my soul, which is what should at least occasionally appear on my blog. Hopefully the scope of description of what lies within expands and incorporates all of life, as it looks to me.

I've rambled, forgive me...

Nelle ( http://liberalfeministtranniedyke.blogspot.com/ )

I have to chuckle at this topic, as I have found myself actually getting a tad more daring of late.

I started blogging more than a year ago, and the were all happy, upbeat and very, very clean.

Then I got my own domain and switched to WordPress which gave me nothing but grief. So I {shudder} bitched (oh the horror!) about it.

And it felt good LOL

I decided I was no longer going to be bland, bland, bland, just to be sure I didn't "offend".

So today I boldy titled my post (about being a mommy! LOL) "Vagina!" because that IS the topic.

I'm waiting to see how the response goes, but so far there hasn't been anything negative.

I must say, it was a relief to break out of the bland box, but I doubt I'll be dropping the seven dirty words (vagina was NOT one of them LOL) on a regular basis.

But I do think women should feel comfortable to write what they feel, the way they feel it. If they write well and aren't just using profanity for shock appeal, they should have a following.

Blessing to all of you!

Marti ( http://enterthelaughter.com/ )

I could teach some of you a few really great curses, as I come from a long, distingushed line of "White Trash", where bitch is a term of endearment for my family. I try to keep it clean because it does read more professional. Just like anything. Yes, every cuss word my children learned they learned from me while I was driving in traffic. I'm not proud of that, nor does anybody I know, know that I blog, but cussing every other word is vulgar. I did appreciate the well timed use of the the word "shit" above though!

I don't use cuss words on my blog(or many) because like Mary, I feel it's hurts the professionalism of how I write else where. Censorship sucks. I used the word penis and how I didn't want to loose it like I loose the remote control and my church went haywire. But I talk like that in real life and they laugh. Go figure. If I ever have the chance for syndication or put up ads, I don't think I would change what I write, but I would be careful.

Link Text ( http://melissanandjoshua.blogspot.com )Space And Time

My issue is not syndication or trying to get a wider audience. I generally do not curse because (1) my relatives--including my Mom--read my blog, (2) it is a semi-professional site, akin to an extended CV or resume, (3) that is not who I am, generally speaking.

But the main reason--& most unexpected, is because I want my blog NOT to be googled as a potential porn site! For example, I have a "method" of dissertation writing I coined "Ass to Chair." But if I were to write that out (instead of saying, "A** to Chair," or just "A2C") then within no time I'd notice on my site stats all sorts of folks googling stuff like "ass+college+girls+black+..."

I also know that there are some personal things I just don't write about because some family members, church friends and my husband's friend's wives read my blog. I just don't say things that I don't really want anyone to know about....but the rest is fair game.

I don't curse just to be like the cool kids...I talk the way I normally do in person.

So yes, I do indeed say "Crappity Crap crap" in real life. Ha! ;)

LBB

I need to vent! ( http://tovent.blogspot.com )

Never write anything on my blog that I wouldn't be willing to say to someone's face.

Which, interestingly enough, means that my rules for writing are diametrically opposite Mary's. That is, I can drop f-bombs like a fighter pilot without offending my family, but I tiptoe around subjects like sex and underage alcohol/drug use. However, I haven't been dropping many f-bombs lately, and I've recently posted about topics that might make my father cringe.

As for the syndication/advertising aspect of it, I'm reminded of how recording artists' styles change after they are signed by labels. Reel Big Fish had a great song ("Sellout") about the temptation to do whatever it takes for fame and fortune, while losing yourself in the process. I don't judge to what degree others are willing (or not) to conform in order to achieve their goals.

Goosie, Mousie, Daddy and Me ( http://mothergoosemouse.blogspot.com )

You are too sweet. We should totally make out someday.
--
Troll Baby ( http://bigdlittledmistatruffyandme.blogspot.com/ )

Troll Baby Graphics ( http://trollbabygraphics.blogspot.com/ )

...that even though I don't normally include profanity, I do write about many sensitive subjects, e.g., abortion, previous lovers, unhappiness, dissatisfaction with mothering (some days). Nobody in my family would ever critize my content.

My mom's criticism of profanity stems from the fact that she is a professional writer and editor. The main reason I don't use profanity (besides my mom's criticism of it) is that I feel it detracts from my writing. The same is true of spelling errors and bad grammar. I can write the most eloquent essay ever, but if I show it to an editor or my husband, the first thing they will notice is ANY mistake in grammar or spelling. That's frustrating, but it comes with the territory.

I also now include capitals when I write. by this i mean i no longer write as though i'm in a chat room, which i did for many years both on my blog and in personal and professional correspondence.

Writing with capitals, limiting profanity, and editing my work for spelling and grammar are all things I do as a professional and not because I've sold out. That being said, I understand the use of profanity in humor. Would Chris Rock or Eddie Murphy be as funny if they didn't swear? No.

Interesting topic! I don't see any right or wrong answers to this question; I think our answers vary based on our intent with our blog/writing.

Mary
BlogHer Contributing Editor, Mommy & Family ( http://www.blogher.com/topic/mommy-family )
Mom Writes ( http://marytsao.blogspot.com )

I kind of echo Mary AND Karen's sentiments above. Mine is a profanity-free blog, but that just reflects the way I speak (most of the time, anyway--I'm not perfect). I'm not comfortable slinging a lot of profanity (having been taught that it was a crutch to compensate for a poor vocabulary) in real life, so I don't do it on my blog. And it was only a few months ago that I realized I have a G-rated blog, so since that awareness, I've struggled to keep it that way. I don't censor what I talk about in any way, and I don't censor my comments/commentors, which can get pretty salty.

Like both of the above ladies, everyone in my "real" life knows about, and reads, my blog, and that includes people from my church...I try not to think about that when I'm writing personal stuff.

Karen--I think you should have said, "They know where they can 'tsk' it!" And I have visited, and adore, your teenage cousin. I love that you encourage her in being a THINKING young woman. Her blog is so much nicer and more substantial than those typical cheesy "myspace" spots that are always popping up on "Dateline!"

Belinda ( http://www.ninjapoodles.com )

Well, damnit (heh), I had a long, fluffy insightful comment written and my computer ate it.

"Selling out" implies a compromise of integrity often in exchange for money. I think that most bloggers' integrity is more than the use (or non-use) of profanity and that the real point of a blog is the content.

There is nothing inherently wrong with a blogger choosing to follow guidelines (for syndication, ads, etc.)if the goal is to increase readership or make a living or whatever. If those guidelines require a change in what a blogger says, then people just want to know about it(disclosure).

Busy Mom Blog ( http://busymom.net )

My family and hubby's family read the blog. It's me. They know that this is who I am, and they love me the way I am. I don't purposely seek out to use profanity, and I don't censor myself either. No one has tsk tsk'd me yet, and if they did, they know where they can stick their opinion. (Sorry Mary!) I do get alot of praise from family about the humour, however the serious posts get no attention from anyone except my teenage cousin. I guess our families like shit swept under the rug. No matter, I won't stop writing.

--
Troll Baby ( http://bigdlittledmistatruffyandme.blogspot.com/ )

Troll Baby Graphics ( http://trollbabygraphics.blogspot.com/ )

Since my mom, my grandma, and my mother-in-law were the first people ever to read my blog, I've never used swear words. Now that I have a larger audience, I use the aptly placed "damn" or "hell," but not the f-bomb. (Although I like that word and think it's cool it can be an adjective, verb, or noun, as well as an interjection.)

Long story short, I sold out to the tsk tsk'ing of family members long before I did to advertisers.

Mary
BlogHer Contributing Editor, Mommy & Family ( http://www.blogher.com/topic/mommy-family )
Mom Writes ( http://marytsao.blogspot.com )