Appreciating Mom Without Consumerism and Guilt

Chantel Williams also blogs at Life and Times of Chantel

My daughter and I were watching a movie on television last night. I watched as she became visibly upset and resentful at the commercials for Mother's Day. The quote that fell from her frustrated mouth, "What 15 year old can afford to run out and buy their Mom diamonds or DVD players or anything for Mothers Day, it's not like I can get a job?"

Nothing would be better than a big fat diamond for Mother's Day or a new laptop but better yet the gift of no guilt could be what we all really need.

I suggested she hold her hands above her head and spin around a couple of times to break the spell that advertisers put on young children and families alike. We narrowly averted the hypnosis of consumerism and a serious hit to her self-esteem. I explained that I don't require diamonds; the poem she wrote for me a week ago would do just fine as a Mother's Day gift; Oh, and coffee in bed!

My recommendation, let us all as Mother's, explain to our children exactly what we want for Mother's Day; a clean bedroom, breakfast in bed, weeds pulled from the garden or better yet, a massage given by teeny tiny little fingers. Ask your husband to iron your clothes for the week or ask him to plan the meals for the week; of course you'll be kind when he confused 1/2 teaspoon of salt for 1/2 cup. Turn off the television so our little ones aren't feeling terrible for the diamonds and computers they didn't buy us and read a book together, go to the park together or stay in bed together; just do it together.

If you have creative, cheap or free ideas for Mother's Day start sharing them here.

Submitted by Chantel Williams (view blog

) on Wed, 05/03/2006 - 13:41

Posted In

Life |
Mommy & Family

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Amen

Every year, I tell my kids the only thing I want is a day when they don't argue with each other. (Not that they argue any more than average siblings, but it's a great opportunity to point out that the best give they can give the ENTIRE FAMILY is to spend a day being purposefully kind).

--
Mir from WCS
(BlogHer Mommy & Family contributing editor)

Personal: Woulda Coulda Shoulda

At Ty's Toy Box: Listen to your Mommy!

Submitted by Mir Kamin on Wed, 05/03/2006 - 11:52

Mother's Day

I just finished making (yes - doing the whole craft thing!) a present for my Grandmother for Mother's Day. I made a photo album/memory book, filled with photos from when she was growing up through to getting married, having children and then her grandchildren. And then got all of my immediate family to write a few paragraphs each on their memories of her.

Cost: minimal (except for the copying of photographs, which I think came to $20 so it wasn't that expensive). But it was kind of time-intensive (not to mention requiring the use of guilt to get my brothers and father to sit down and write something, although what they did end up writing was really beautiful).

Jules

BlogHer Contributing Editor, Australia, New Zealand & Oceania
Dragongirl blog

Submitted by Jules on Wed, 05/03/2006 - 16:57

Thanks Chantel

So crazy, the difference between the goods that marketers want people to buy for the women in their lives -- and what I see the women around me treasure, year after year.

Exhibit A: Last fall, my mother wrote me a note about something *really special* she'd mailed from home for Thanksgiving dinner. Precious. I was to watch for it, the finishing touch on our family feast. I couldn't imagine--ornate candles? Family silver? A freaking chef so I didn't have to "cook" (jazz hands!) as we say here if I'll be around the stove.

The big day came and I opened the box Mom sent. Tucked into tissue paper were six napkin rings made 30 years ago by one of my sisters. Thick little thumbs made them not quite round. Imagine orange and red feathers, glued onto turkey-brown school-issue construction paper with puddles and ribbons of dried Elmers, all the clumsy craft of a very smart little second-grader whose long braids were probably in and out of the project. My mother took such good care of these over the past three decades that the downy scarlet and pumpkin feathers look like they were just plucked from a duck's ass.

They made the dinner, she was right. So I look out my kitchen window, across its litter of unidentifiable molding-clay objects d'art and hand prints and unrecognizable coloring jobs and think what I need is a two-hour family project to secure the good stuff in those scrapbooks I need to buy. Or at least take some digital photos for crying out loud. So thanks Chantel. You've inspired me to conspire with the givers and ask for a group project.

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette

Submitted by Lisa Stone on Wed, 05/03/2006 - 18:19