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Contributing Editor Mir also blogs at Woulda Coulda Shoulda and Ty's Toy Box.
Caitlin Flanagan is just so misunderstood. She's just like you and me, y'all. Except, you know, a gazillion times more judgemental and just about the only self-proclaimed Democrat who does things like go on national television and declare that women were better off stuck in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant.
Poooooor misunderstood Caitlin.
I'll confess: I was trying really hard to pretend that Caitlin Flanagan and her twisted "feminists are the enemy" philosophy didn't exist. But Susan at Friday Playdate piqued my curiosity today with this post about Flanagan's appearance on The Colbert Report. I... couldn't help it. I had to go watch her in action.
If you don't have the time (or the stomach) to view the clip, Salon is kind enough to sum it up perfectly:
Your hero is just as smug and unsavory in person as she is on the page! Whether she's voicing her disdain for the feminists who risked their necks to make her cushy New Yorker job possible or coyly suggesting that she's the only wife on the planet who fucks her husband regularly, Flanagan has a real knack for provocation -- the ultra-feminine kind, of course. Looking like a cross between a preppy housewife and the helpful sister on a douche commercial, Flanagan was in full effect last night on "The Colbert Report," anxious to rag on married people who leave the house occasionally for dinner and a movie (Exsqueeze?) and more than willing to bask in praise and adoration (even the pretend kind) for her firmly held beliefs that women should be second-class citizens. Colbert (tongue-in-cheek): "You're a perfect woman!" Flanagan (deadly serious): "I've been told that."
(The only thing I can add to their assessment is my own ultra-feminine observation: Something is just NOT RIGHT with that woman's hair.)
I started poking around and discovered that indeed, Flanagan is cutting a large swathe of incredulity everywhere her simpering housewifely goodness goes. Feministe takes her to task, noting (as has every observer with a brain) that--among other things--Flanagan exhorts all women to return to traditional roles and decry feminism, all the while living a life which was made possible by feminism. Duh.
Let's stop right here, Caitlin. You're no more a housewife than I am. You do high-profile work for which you make good money and get yourself on television. You may think that because you do it at home and turn off the computer when the kids come home from school, you're a housewife. But you're not.
And yes, dear, your book is political because in it, you're shitting on all the work that feminists have done and do now in order to glorify a 1950s norm that never was the norm. And you have the audacity to tell other women that they should be doing what you do - minus, of course, the writing gigs for the New Yorker and the Atlantic. And minus the housekeeper and nanny.
Here's a secret, Caitlin: there are plenty of Democrats in marriages in which the feminist wife stays home with the kids and the husband works. They just don't kid themselves about the risks of having only one income, nor do they see the arrangement as being a way of recapturing a glorious past. They've simply decided that they can afford it, and that this is the best arrangment for them. There are also plenty of couples for whom this is not even an option. You'd throw them under the bus along with the feminists.
Feministe continues systematically deconstructing Flanagan's glass house, ending with the ultimate truth:
Face it, Caitlin. You *are* a Republican.
In her non-book review (because she can't bear to read the actual book, and I'm with her) of Flanagan's writing, gnatalie highlights perhaps the saddest part of this woman's shock factor:
The bad part is that she really does make a good point. Being a housewife and/or mother has become less respected and those women often do feel like they have to defends themselves and their decisions. I admit that I hear someone is a stay-at-home Mom my reaction is mixed between feeling pity and feeling happy for them. And that isn't right. Staying at home is very important and hard work. BUT the really really bad part is that this message is lost among all the other crazy stuff she says and writes about.
I agree. Inbetween telling you that she knows what's best for you
