"N" stands for Never and Not on my watch.

Contributing Editor Jenn Satterwhite also blogs at Mommy Needs Coffee and Mommybloggers.

Yesterday I was reading an entry over at Liz's Mom-101 blog. At first it seemed just a normal entry until she began discussing having an issue with the television channel Noggin. Noggin?! As in home to Maisy, Miffy and the freaky-as-hell Oobi? (Just who was on that LSD trip and came up with that one?) Curious about what could be wrong with Noggin, I read on.

Well apparently after Maisy and Miffy go to bed, it becomes The N Spot. "Real. Life. Now." Television for Tweens. As in pre-teen. Running shows like Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Eh. Not great, but not earth shatteringly shocking. Until I got to the part where she talks about the commercial they ran for a game on their website.

Last night The N ran a commercial for a game on their website called The Hook-Up. (Hookup, according to Wikipedia, denotes casual sexual activity outside the context of a romantic relationship.)

Excuse me? Didn't we just establish this is for PRE-teens?!

"The Hook-Up. A game of charm and treachery and deceit. Where you do whatever it takes to hook up with your dream guy. So go ahead. Be as flirtatious and manipulative and outrageous as you want to be. No one has to know."

Okay, now I am beginning to freak a bit and feel like yelling out things like "Oh no they didn't!" Thankfully, Liz logged on to find out what was up with this kind of game and what it was all about. (Because me? Well, I was still staring at the screen screaming PREteen, people, PREteen!")

From the instructions:

How do you like being the new girl? You just got dropped into a town full of intrigue and romance and you'll need to play your cards right if you just want to survive, much less whip your rivals into shape and land yourself a man.

Are they serious? Is this a serious game to teach young girls these kinds of "tricks"? Because if they are, this is shocking to me. And I don't care if I sound like that grumpy old lady that lives down the street and talks about "how they didn't do things that way in my day!" I do not want to raise a Mean Girl. Or a little whore. I am just fine keeping her in a bubble if that is possible.

So, in this game you are landing a man to get popular and be successful. (A MAN?) But not only land him, but make the other girls jealous. How? Why to humilate them, that's how. Mean Girls style.

Okay, I will admit to the fact that I have not really thought about things in terms of tween girls because my tweens are boys. I know this is probably a double standard. But not an intentional one. However, seeing this and looking at my daughter, I wince. Is this what my future holds? I mean, I have 5 years before she is a tween. What then? N-Spot...Porn for Tweens?! I guess I really am getting old because I am going to say it...they certainly did not have crap like that on tv when I was a preteen and if they did, it would be pay per view cable only.

When I think about my daughter and what her future holds, I begin to wonder if I can sign her up now for a convent. With no Internet access or televisions. Or I can go Liz's route:

And that's when I decided that my daughter would be homeschooled and raised gay to the very best of our ability.

Is this Real. Life. Now.?? Or is this pushing our kids to grow up too fast without our (or even the kids') consent?

[Image courtesy of the website The N Spot and is the registered trademark of the channel.]


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