Babysitters: Have we yet reached gender equality?

Gee... I believe I have heard on the news about female teachers molesting their students?
Heard about Mothers throwing their babies into dumpsters, or drowning them? Hmm from those stories from the news... I could say that Females are no longer able to be reliable mothers... unless they have LOT'S of References, and experience! COME ON PEOPLE, 20 years ago if we would have told females they had to stay in the home or be just secretaries we would have gotten sued! Females ask for the whole equal rights, but you see men who might actually want to be good baby sitters and you freak? Why because it is not done that way? I have searched online for many arguments about male babysitters. The most of the arguments I heard were against them... my fave is... I would not hire a male babysitter unless he came with good references... hmm but just before that comment this person had said she hired a 24 year old woman who claimed she was going to college and was looking to make some cash for school... she never checked the references for the female, but if it is male... oh males watching our children!!! Why? There are news stories that are horrible, male molesters... Female molesters, and yet when the female molestations are actually higher than the males our society still believes that males are evil? Come on people!! I know of many males who are afraid of being around children... EVEN THIER OWN!!! Because of that sexist view. So ask yourself this... how many females get let off from illegal activities compared to men? I know of probably 15 females who have gotten off of speeding tickets, haven’t found one male yet that has... I know of many Spouse abusers... the female attacks the male and made him bloody... but the male is taken away and put in jail.... I even know personally of a few cases of females raping the males... and do they ever get punished? Nope, they get away because everyone thinks females are the innocent, and males are guilty. Think about it.

I have used very few babysitters in my day. I've had live-in nanny's/housekeepers but no more than 3 "babysitters" and all 3 while living in northern California.

2 of the sitters were teen girls, my children adored them both. The third was a teen boy and my children didn't just adore him, they worshipped every hair on his head and every bone in his body. If they could have tossed me aside in favor of James, they would have. In fact if he had been able to drive and had a full time job, I'm sure they'd have followed him home and refused to leave.

I also loved it when James came to babysit. He brought a twist to their lives, and to mine. He always had a new joke or a new way of looking at things. And he was never ever the kind of sitter who turned on the TV, propped them up in front of it til bedtime and than raided the kitchen once they were gone. He was too good for that.

I got soooo much CRAP from women about using a boy babysitter. They liked the family, they even liked him, but they would NEVER trust a boy to babysit. EVER. For any reason. One woman pulled me aside and explained that she had been sexually assaulted by a male babysitter ummm and that effects me how? and my children, how? I, of all people, understand the scars that are left behind but give me a break - holding all male babysitters responsible for the actions of one (or a few) is ridiculous.

James, wherever you are... thank you very much.

~Denise
Daily Dose of Denise ( http://flamingohouse.blogs.com )

I'm with Mir. I probably wouldn't use a male babsitter, but that decision is more based on emotion than reality. I think Carman made a great decision and I wish I could be like her. But I realize I probably couldn't do it. And then I have a few memories tucked in the back of my head that would preclude me from that decision also. But really, it's still an emotional thing.

But I hate that I am like that.

Space and Time ( http://melissanandjoshua.blogspot.com )

I don't discriminate among babysitters based on a single variable. But I will admit that I am really damn picky, and perhaps my pickiness might be interpreted as sexism or ageism. I'm much less concerned about how my choices are perceived than with my comfort level regarding the person caring for my children - and it sounds like Carmen is of the same mind.

I want to tell you that I would use a male babysitter... but I just don't know if I would.

And this does NOT mean that I am disparaging Carmen's (or anyone else's, for that matter) choice, or that I feel I have an overarching, compelling argument for it. It just means that I probably won't.

The best explanation I can offer is that, around here, babysitters are young teens; middle school or high school. And I do believe that girls mature faster than boys as a general rule. So, would I use a 14-year-old boy? Probably not. But I don't have the same issue with a 14-year-old girl.

If you presented me with a mature, responsible, old-enough young man who wanted to babysit, would I use him? Maybe. I don't know. It's so out of the realm of my experience that it's hard to picture.

On the other hand, we've had great male camp counselors and even the occasional guy at daycare. But when you're talking about a SINGLE person solely responsible for my kids, in my house, I confess my vision narrows a bit.

And I think in the grand scheme, it's wrong that I feel that way; but when it comes to my kids I honor what makes me uncomfortable.

--
Mir from WCS
(BlogHer Mommy & Family contributing editor)

Personal: Woulda Coulda Shoulda ( http://wouldashoulda.com/ )

At Ty's Toy Box: Listen to your Mommy! ( http://tystoyboxblog.com/ )

I find it sad that someone would automatically assume a male babysitter would be an abuser. My sons would love it.

I would be thrilled to find any babysitter, male or female, that I liked and trusted.

When I was living in London, one of my male friends was a nanny - at the time, having a male nanny (or "Manny" as they were referred to in the newspapers - yes, it was discussed in The Times and in The Guardian) was considered to be really cutting edge and desirable, particularly if you had sons. My friend was adored by the kids and parents, particularly because he could do "guy stuff" with the boys.

Jules

BlogHer Contributing Editor, Australia, New Zealand & Oceania ( http://www.blogher.com/topic/world/australia-nz-oc... )
Dragongirl blog ( http://www.dragongirl76.blogspot.com )