Contributing Editor Koan Bremner also blogs at Multidimensional.Me

Sometimes I need to read the right thing at the right time to know what the right thing is to do. And Liz Rizzo and Jory Des Jardins have recently written the right things, at the right time, to help me make a personal decision.

In a recent post "Dreams can come true" on her personal blog, Liz writes about her reactions to attending the Women In Film Crystal + Lucy Awards. She was particularly moved by Geena Davis' thoughts on gender equity, particularly in terms of how male and female characters are portrayed in film and on television - and of how her organisation, "See Jane", maintains that:

women will watch men's stories, but men won't watch women's stories. Her organization posits that we're taught this from a very early age, that women's stories are only of interest to women.

Liz notes her own reaction to this realisation:

It suddenly seemed the single saddest thing that I had ever heard. That we're doing this. We're all, men and women, really doing this to ourselves. One of the reasons Teen Titans (my favorite cartoon!) was said to be popular was that it appealed to both genders. All the characters were so great. Why can't we do that more of the time? (All of the time???) Why do we continue to dismiss films with female leads and "female" themes as "chick flicks"? Only of interest to women. Why?

But, for me, the words that spoke most to me were:

If gender has so little to do with catching a football and rolling dough, what else in our world seems "natural" when it's really, truly learned behavior? Learned truth.

Jory, meanwhile, recently analysed how the idea she jointly developed with Lisa Stone and Elisa Camahort - namely, BlogHer - took her in a direction she hadn't anticipated:

At some point early this year I realized that by throwing out the possibility of my own venture I'd allowed it to come my way, but like most possibilities it didn't look the way I'd imagined. I didn't have to watch my venture grow from scratch; it was already growing, and I was already participating in it. My original concept of growing it alone with my hand in everything seems inefficient to me now, almost arrogant. My business wasn't a seed that could only grow with my care and feeding; it was a garden--a community--that I would help to maintain. More than a business owner I am a steward.

Both of these posts illuminate an internal dilemma with which I've been wrestling for the last few weeks. As a Contributing Editor for Feminism and Gender, essentially my remit is either to point to great blogging by others on these topics - or to post on those topics myself. As a lifelong feminist, and someone for whom considerations of gender are more than just an idle curiosity, I felt that I could bring a worthwhile perspective to my posts here, and enjoy doing so in the process.

The problem, though, is that the nature of feminism and gender - or, more correctly, the nature of the majority of most blog writing I encounter in those areas - is to highlight the inequities that currently exist. It is necessary to point out what is wrong, in order to argue for what may be better or fairer. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with that - I am saying that my appetite for reading that is not what it was. And here's why.

The title of Liz's post could not more accurately reflect my own life right now. In March, I was able to realise a personal dream. And it has radically altered how I feel, on so many levels. I spent the first 29 years of my life fighting something I could not identify - the next six years fighting something I had finally identified, but which scared and disgusted me - the next four years trying to find the strength to deal with the problem - and the last three years starting to see beyond the problem. I have spent the last 42 years fighting a personal battle - and that battle has been won. I can now focus on what is possible - rather than being tormented by what is *not* possible.

In other words, I am now (and probably for the first time in my life) in a position to live positively. To identify and define a place for myself which embraces all that I am, rather than compromising and compensating for all that I could not do. One unexpected upshot of which is to find that I no longer have the appetite for reading much of what I used to read - especially in the areas of feminism and gender. There is so much that still needs to be achieved in those areas, that they deserve more coverage here - but, I now recognise that I am not the person to do that. Not now. Maybe later. I am certainly not turning my back on the problems - I am simply recognising that, right now, I would sooner concentrate on positive actions on my part.

In addition, BlogHer exists to promote recognition and exposure for women - and I think it's doing an excellent job in that respect. However, as a blogger who is completely uninterested in links and recognition, I can't help but think that, if I were to continue as a Contributing Editor for Feminism and Gender, I would be denying someone else (who would really appreciate such recognition) their chance. I benefited immensely from attending the first BlogHer conference - but, since I can't attend BlogHer '06, maybe now is the best time to hand on this role.

Liz's post reminds me of just how much needs to be done - and Jory's post reminds me that, sometimes what we should do is already known to us. I make no claims to being a positive role model, for anybody - but maybe, by focusing on the positives of my own potential, rather than dwelling on the negatives of current injustices, I can do more to contribute to ending those injustices.

Namaste.

Blog: Multidimensional.Me