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DoctorMama was elated to read that the FDA approved an HPV (Human Papillomavirus) vaccine that prevents cervical cancer. And then surprised to read that some people believe giving the vaccine to young women may encourage them to engage in premarital sex.
In her article Virginity or Death, Katha Pollitt writes, "Raise your hand if you think that what is keeping girls virgins now is the threat of getting cervical cancer when they are 60 from a disease they've probably never heard of."
With tongue in cheek, DoctorMama explores other useful inventions that "might also have the potential to make sluts out of innocent girls." For example:
"Softpaws. Now, these are a terrific invention. They keep people from having the tips of their cats' fingers guillotined, they help save furniture, and they look adorable. But if you examine it carefully, this product may not be so innocent. Think about it: what kind of pets do unmarried women tend to keep? That's right, cats. And soft-hearted young women are less likely to sign their kitties up for declawing. But this means that they have to keep a close eye on Mrs. Fluffy or risk ruining the nice afghan they've crocheted for the hope chest. But once they've slapped on a set of Softpaws, they can go gallivanting off into the night worry-free ... and soon they're fallen women.
Champion Double-Dry Seamless sports bras. Once I discovered these, I wanted to pitch all my old running bras. These don't chafe, don't pinch, keep you cool, and most important, eliminate The Bounce. What more could a girl want? Well. I don't think I need to tell you that anything that makes it more comfortable to run around in public half-naked is a one-way ticket to losing your precious flower.
Marsona white noise machine. My life was immensely improved by one of these devices. No more kicking poor TrophyHusband all night, no being woken up by the skateboarders heading down the street for their midnight extreme boarding. Perhaps sleeping peacefully in one's own bed seems unlikely to result in a girl's downfall. True, if you're talking about the girl. But what if it's her mother who uses it (as is most likely, after all)? This is clearly a recipe for disaster. Because if a girl knows her parents can't hear her climbing out her bedroom window, what's to stop her from doing so? Next thing you know, she's servicing all the boys on the block while her parents slumber on unawares."
Quick, moms! Time to do a sweep of your house to rid it of these slut-inducing products before your impressionable young daughters realize that these products--oh, and the HPV vaccine--mean that naughty is the new nice.
Sigh.
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BlogHer Contributing Editor Mary Tsao also blogs at Mom Writes.
Image credit: Top Tattoo Designs
