Bio
Freelance Writer, Professional Blogger, Mother of 3 teens and 1 tween, living and writing from the Jersey Shore (yes, on purpose!) Want to connect? L...
 
 
 
 

Most Popular

Dressing For Success: Have You Been Bitch-Slapped, Today?

  • Share This Post
  • Pin It
  • 7
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

Making the "right" first impression is very important to many people and, speaking from experience, learning to dress for success (especially if you're a woman) would perhaps be a lot easier, if it were graded on a curve - or, having a personal stylist ready to hand me a cup of coffee (along with my first bitch-slap of the morning) with, "Whoa, honey...that skirt is so...NOT you!"

But, what if the shoe were on the other foot and someone asked you to, "Please speak to her about the way she dresses," designating you as someone else's fashion police - like an ex-employer of mine, did - not so easy, yes?

While checking out the BlogHer blogroll, I visited with the Studious Stylist's and was once again, bitch-slapped - this time by the fashion muse in the form of Redside and her thought-provoking post, regarding a student giving her PhD and being studied perhaps a little closer than she thought:

The female graduate student being examined wore a tight shirt with a plunging neckline, which my friend found inappropriate and distracting.

Redside's friend did not feel it her place to intervene (read: "Girl...as in this is supposed to be an oral, not visual exam...what were you thinking?") and I tend to wonder, along with Redside, would you...could you...be my fashion police?

In New Women’s Dress for Success, John Molloy states that successful women do not give fashion advice to their junior colleagues. Instead, women hold fashion faux pas against others, while men tend to share their knowledge. I don’t know if this is true, but it made me wonder if clothing should be included in academic mentoring.

Why not?

To tell you the truth - since finding myself embedded with BlogHers from all walks of life - I've learned that if there's anything women are willing to share...it's their knowledge...and if there is a "clear-cut" policy or code to, in this case, professionally-appropriate attire...a woman probably wrote it!

But, then again, taking advice can be as difficult as giving it, as Redside gets right to the point...a whole lot prettier, btw:

On the other hand, when I heard this story it made me doubt the competence of the student in question. How could she have misjudged the fashion codes? What would this mean for her future in the profession? In other words, I was doing just what Molloy said that women do—thinking poorly of someone for her choices but not helping her figure out the rules.

You've heard the saying, "You are what you wear," well - look at what the person nearest to you is wearing, right now - does it fit?

In her post, "I'll wear a suit when I'm dead," Printculture's M. Massino is headed to her, "...first big-time academic conference, this year," and questions herself (as well as her readers) and makes an interesting point:

...there is much apparently at stake. Class, gender, politics, personality, investment, etc. etc. Looking too good can be just as bad as looking sloppy. To steal a turn of phrase from Matthew Schneier at the Yale Herald, if one looks too snappy one might encounter the attitude that “a night is probably better spent in the stacks than in the racks�--that if you look like you've spent much time on your appearance others might wonder if you're putting enough time into working on your brain (whatever that might mean).

She received a lot of advice - good, bad and indifferent - along with this comment:

jkcohen wrote:

I think that, if the computer science or ee people I know are any indication, they'd all go buy DNA or Escher ties. With what's left over, they would splurge on their collection of O'Reilly T-shirts — camel, lemur, python, bat. The supremo place to get this stuff on the Web is ThinkGeek (http://www.thinkgeek.com/)

[Editor's Note: my geeky pick would have to be this tie - with a binary code on it translating to "ties suck."]

Yeah, I can be very geeky and - personally, I believe that a little bit of nerdiness can be colorful - finding definition in proper attire at the workplace can prove difficult, often times leading the way for debate on whether or not there is any compensation in dressing for success.

For example, there are people involved in the hiring process who believe that the fact my SIL has three tattoos will affect her chances of compeleting a successful interview.
Chez Shoes believes otherwise:

No. No, it should not. Although I am lacking in the areas of piercings and/or body art, I

  • 7
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

Comments

Post comment as twitter logo facebook logo
Sort: Newest | Oldest
JennaHatfield 10 pts

In a BIG station, sure, they have stylists. I'm working in the middle of nowhere, Ohio, remember. ;) Our anchors/reporters are trained and given free makeup but, getting themselves put together for their on air performance is their "job." Sometimes they are successful. Sometimes, not so much. Personally, even if I didn't have anxiety in front of a crowd, I couldn't do it. Why?

Sometimes I'm just a ponytail, t-shirt and jeans kinda girl. Sometimes? Frequently. ;)

Family Living; Hatfield Style ( http://www.thejhatfields.org/blog )
Jenna

Liz Thompson 5 pts

...is what you should be getting, Mary - WOOHOO! - you'd be a very "popular" addition to the aisles at my local supermarket ;o)

Today - I'm sitting at my laptop wearing a black spaghetti strap tee, khaki cargo shorts and sweating...profusely!!! I just finished cutting my front lawn, as well as my 98 year old neighbor's side yard and am looking really...HOT!

Thank you.
--------------------------------------------
For more from Liz Thompson, read:
C.E. Fashion & Shopping ( http://www.blogher.com )
This Full House
( http://thisfullhouse.com )The Imperfect Parent ( http://imperfectparent.com )

Mary Tsao 5 pts

Okay. Right now I'm wearing a low cut, electric blue camisole with ruffles. I think it's cute but I have to remember to clutch my chest if I'm bending over at the grocery store.

I have no idea if it's acceptable suburban housewife attire. Methinks not. However, several very nice people (men and women both) struck up conversations with me at the grocery store so it certainly is an attention grabber.

Most days I wear standard white T-shirts. Perhaps I should go a little crazy more often...

Mary
BlogHer Contributing Editor, Mommy & Family ( http://www.blogher.com/topic/mommy-family )
Mom Writes ( http://marytsao.blogspot.com )

Liz Thompson 5 pts

...but, working as an assistant in a sales office, I was expected to dress very professionally (i.e., demurely) and I accepted that.

But, like you, I believe it is also "not my place" to speak to a co-worker about the way she dressed.

My boss, who happened to be male, probably felt uncomfortable (not to mention afraid of being thought of as a "chauvinist") and thought that it would be easier for another woman.

Well, it wasn't.

Especially when I felt (and thought) that she always looked very well put together - she was the only "female" sales person in the region of about a dozen, btw - so, looking back, I can honestly say that her only "fashion faux pas" was...looking really good in a skirt.

Which, as most people (male and female) already know, can be very threatening, you know.

I can't imagine having to put it all out there...on television.

Don't those people have stylists, anyways?

Thanks for your thoughts and I soooo want one of those "I (heart) Dorks" shirts!
--------------------------------------------
For more from Liz Thompson, read:
C.E. Fashion & Shopping ( http://www.blogher.com )
This Full House
( http://thisfullhouse.com )The Imperfect Parent ( http://imperfectparent.com )

Liz Thompson 5 pts

I am very happy to learn of projects such as Two Girls Working - and bring to light the fact that women are more than happy (and often times willing) to share their knowledge - thanks for the link, Elizabeth, and for making my point...perfectly!

--------------------------------------------
For more from Liz Thompson, read:
C.E. Fashion & Shopping ( http://www.blogher.com )
This Full House ( http://thisfullhouse.com )
The Imperfect Parent ( http://imperfectparent.com )

JennaHatfield 10 pts

Working in the television industry, I see a lot of professional and unprofessional looks. When do I comment? When an anchor/reporter looks especially great in something; a color that makes their eyes pop on screen or a suit that sets them apart from the local newspaper reporters. But I refuse to say, "Do you really think you should be wearing that on air?" It's just not my place, in my opinion. If it is outrageously inappropriate, they'll get a call shortly after the newscast from the News Director or our HR Rep. So I just sit in the back, put them on the air and revel in their confidence to wear those plunging necklines.

My style is "sporty" which, working in the technical realm of the station, I can get away with; I'm always clean looking if not in completely professional attire. I couldn't wear a suit back here. I have to crawl under things that shouldn't be crawled under. And, I do have my bits of geekiness that I get away with as well. Weekends are even more relaxed for all staff (except for on air staff) as rarely a tour will come through. It is those times that I choose to wear my "I (heart) Dorks" shirt. ;) Though, during football season, I can be seen sporting my pink Steelers hat at random.

Fashion shcmashion! I look good. They look good. We all look good. WOO!

Family Living; Hatfield Style ( http://www.thejhatfields.org/blog )
Jenna

Elizabeth Perry 5 pts

Have you seen the project by Two Girls Working ( http://www.twogirlsworking.com/descrip/index.html ), in which the artists interviewed women, asking "What do you wear that makes you feel powerful?"

http://www.twogirlsworking.com/interview/index.htm...

The answers are wonderful - sometimes funny, sometimes surprising, sometimes touching. The whole project lets you think about women and the diverse ways we define ourselves and our power in the world.

I sometimes think of that project when I'm trying to figure out what to wear/what not to wear...

----------------------------------------------
drawing daily at woolgathering... ( http://www.elizabethperry.com/woolgathering )
----------------------------------------------