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Tattoos and Identity
by lainad

I have been working on this topic for a while now, trying to find a correlation between race, individuality and liberation....oh and tattoos.

Let me start with why I wanted to write about this. My best friend and I are tattoo freaks. We recently found this fantastic tattoo artist and he has drawn some incredibly artistic work for my friend. For me, he designed a Mexican-inspired, very simple ring (at the time I was depressed and thought that no man would ever buy me a ring, so I had one tattooed).

My friend has some serious work done, but during one conversation about men and dating, we both wondered if our tattoos and the future ones be both plan to get, would keep us out of the dating game - well, we are pretty much out, anyway. Last year at my grandmother's 92nd birthday celebration, my cousin looked at the Idinka symbol on my right hand and asked me if I was a Lesbian. I had to explain that one had nothing to do with the other.

We are both self-admitted weirdos: Me with my penchant for Heavy Metal and playing air-guitar in the confines of my apartment, she's a Sci-Fi geek who loves British Two-Step and Drum and Bass. So on top of our ecletic tastes, we both surmised that our appearance and tattoos were a way to celebrate our individuality, despite having some concerns about fitting into the limited perceptions of what black woman in their mid-thirties should be doing with their lives.

Last weekend I went to Kingston, ON to visit my parents. While I was getting into my dad's car to catch a bus back to Toronto, my mother touched the tattoo on my back and said, "Is that permanent?" I rolled my eyes and said, "yes, mother. So are the ones on my hands." As I did over ten years ago, when she licked her finger and tried to rub THE SAME tattoo off, I had explained to her that it would not come off with saliva. She has admitted that she has a hard time remembering things these days, so I didn't remind her of her previous attempt.

These days, everyone has tattoos. Regardless of ethnicity, they are a way for people to express themselves. But how common is it for black women to get a full sleeve done? Several black R&B singers and female Hip-Hop artists are inked, but it is still a rarity in my little slice of the world. And while I have decided that I am going to get a large back piece done, I still struggle with it.

My insecurity comes from attending black networking events for business purposes and not "fitting in," watching young men and women, dressed in their crisp Linen suits and pearls look at me sideways.It also comes from the dissaproving glances from the elderly black folks that live in my building. My desire for tattoos has become a love/hate relationship, a way to say to the naysayers, "F#$K you," but also the realization that I will never be able to conform into what part of me defines as "normal." Being yourself is more difficult that I imagined it would be.

Just like the debate over black hairstyles (natural or relaxed?)and the racialization of musical genres, there is a not-so-subtle stream of consiousness that dictates what black people - especially black women should behave. We frown upon highly-sexuallized vixens, such as Lil'Kim or Trina, yet there are alot of people who can't conform to the images and / or philosophy we see in the pages of Essence or Ebony. We can't all move to the upper-middle class predominately black enclaves in Atlanta or Houston, or buy a townhouse in Fort Greene, Brooklyn, and we all can't look like Halle Berry or Beyonce.

So I'll continue pondering why, even though visiting Daniel, our tattoo guy is so much fun, there is still a sense of aloneness, of making a mistake that will further push me out of the community where even though I am one of them, I still feel like an outsider. I'll get back to you.

Submitted by lainad (view blog) on Thu, 07/20/2006 - 5:31am
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Comments

 

excellent piece.

Wow... so much of this article resonates with me. I have three tats, and am planning on getting a large back-piece. My last was a 3 inch x 3 inch phoenix on my left forearm. YOu should have seen the look on my mother's face when I came home with it. I love getting tattoos, having tattoos, etc., but I wonder the same thing every time I sit down in the chair...is this going to cost me a job/friendship/relationship someday? It shouldn't...most people have at least one nowadays (or so it seems), but there are a lot of people who still seem to judge a book by its cover.
Amanda Shaffer, Blogher Health and Wellness Contributing Editor

The Adventures of Cat Lady.

Submitted by Amanda Shaffer on Thu, 07/20/2006 - 06:05
 

amazing

My husband has two and is planning a third tattoo and I have one and am planning an elaborate second tattoo, but I too struggle with where to put it because I want to be looked at professionally, but at the same time it shouldn't matter where I put my art. I was thinking of putting the tat on my right calf, but then wearing a skirt suit could pose a problem in the business world. however, I am optimistic about tattoos and the business world because more and more people have them and it shouldn't be about what you have or wear but about your abilities.

Great blog piece.

Submitted by sagustocox on Thu, 07/20/2006 - 06:26
 

Never Out of the Game

Ah, you're never out of the game. My Husband currently has the same amount of tattoos that I do... and we're both planning for our next ones (though they aren't matching, we're just both busy designing). My Mother attempted to tell me that no man would ever take me seriously with my tattoos. Ah, Mom. I love you. I'm currently planning to add to both of my tattoos; a celtic rope type design for my Son and the Korean word for Rose for the child I miscarried.

Anyway, I'm just blabbering. Tattoo away. Anyone who doesn't want to be your friend because you're inked isn't worth the wasted breath in the first place. ;)

Family Living; Hatfield Style
Jenna

Submitted by JennaHatfield on Thu, 07/20/2006 - 07:23
 

It's a complex topic.

It's a complex topic. First, let me say that I'm 57 so my opinion is obviously partly because of that, but I can say unequivocally that I hate tattoos. Two of my best friends have one (my age) so I know not everyone older feels that way. I think back to the clothes I wore when I was in my 20s and 30s and I'm grateful those fashions didn't become permanent choices. I hope I am enlightened enough to not judge people who have them, I certainly believe in free choice in everything. But I can't honestly say that I don't make unconscious value judgements about people when I spot a tattoo, especially people who have lots of them. I cannot imagine that no matter how common they become that I'll ever think they're a good thing. Expressing yourself through clothing and jewelry is so much less permanent.

Kalyn Denny
Kalyn's Kitchen

Submitted by Kalyn Denny on Thu, 07/20/2006 - 07:31
 

in line with your thoughts...

While clothing and accessory choices are less permanent, tattoos are not meant to be an accessory, but an extension of who someone is. It is a way for them to permanently express their creativity, desires, and inner voice without worrying about the latest fashion trend or fad. While many critics claim that tattoos are in fashion, they should not be regarded as such because they are permanent. Careful thought should go into each tattoo chosen, and if not, individuals should be able to live with the consequences of their choice--or in some cases the financial burden placed on them if tattoo removal is necessary.

Submitted by sagustocox on Wed, 04/04/2007 - 10:01
 

I love my tattoo

When I got it, ages ago now, I got it somewhere discrete so that when I was dressed, no one could see it.

Almost immediately, I realized that I was kinda bummed that no one can ever see it! Still, it's cool and I love it.

Likely to get one that's a little more public someday though...

Liz

Liz Rizzo

Everyday Goddess

Submitted by Liz Rizzo on Thu, 07/20/2006 - 07:54
 

Permanent Ink

Tattoos are an ancient tradition, a rite of passage in many cultures. I think that, in the US especially, we sometimes struggle to identify "what is my culture" - especially as it gets swallowed up in Wal-Marts and McDonalds as far as the eye can see. Most of us have lost touch with our ancestral roots and the countries of our familial origins. I think that this goes a long way towards explaining why, even though corporate, social, and religious groups put a high premium on fitting a certain mold, many of us put a higher value on our individuality. We attempt to create a "culture of the self".

I actually posted to my blog a while ago about my tattoo. I got it when I was 22, before marriage and my two kids. I have very strong feelings about my OWN tattoo, and because it is somewhere discreet people are always surprised to learn I have one after they get to know me. It is symbolic of a life lesson I learned at the time, and continues to be a reminder of where I have been and where I am going.

I'm planning to get a second tattoo after my second baby boy is weaned (sometime the end of this year) and am currently busy designing it.

As a child of devoutly Mormon parents, it was several years before I was able to talk to my mother about it. Once I explained the meaning behind it, I think she was better able to accept that it was something meaningful to me and a positive force in my life, rather than a simple childish act of rebellion. She still doesn't like it, but at least she seems to have come to terms with it.

I'm tentatively planning to get the next one on my ankle, where it will be somewhat more visible to the general public. This one will be no less meaningful and symbolic for me personally, and I am looking forward to the whole experience again.

I plan to go back and finish Nursing School once I'm done with this babymaking business, and I know there will be patients who may have pre-judgments about me based on something like a tattoo. The challenge (and a positive one, as I see it) is that it is then my goal to help people learn to reassess their value-judgments. If I am the best nurse I can be, and give the most compassionate and capable care -- how many people, at the end of the day, are going to REALLY care that I happen to have permanent ink?

Stay At Aum Mom
AlternaMom

Submitted by Melkist on Fri, 07/21/2006 - 08:07
 

Ink me, ink me! : )

I'm a teacher, a counselor, an upstanding citizen, a good friend and a hardworking person who can even pass for a professional when I'm behaving. ; ) I was also born with a condition that left a facial scar I can't change, that I'm sure people in our image and appearance-obsessed society judge me for. Although it wasn't all that dramatic, it was one of the reasons why I decided to pick a tattoo for myself when I was 25, in a place where no one can see it most of the time but me. It has personal meaning for me, and I love it still, ten years later. I was one of the least likely people I knew to get one and that made it even more of a kick. I think I'm going for another one for my 35th year, but I haven't made my final design decision yet.

One of the kindest men I know is a large guy who has several tattoos, and he's spent the bulk of his adult life committed to saving abused animals - work I couldn't handle because I'd be a wreck all the time. Give me him any day over some clean-shaven uninked dude who spends his time on Girls Gone Wild. Exteriors mean so little and I've definitely learned that they can deceive. There are jerks with tattoos, angels without them, and unkind people in suits in the front row at church. I'm much more concerned with what someone's got going on in their heart and head than what designs they choose to have on their skin, or what clothes they wear, or their hair, the vast, vast majority of the time. And if people catch a glimpse of the sun rising on my back (it happens more frequently in the summer) and write me off...I've saved us both some time - the friend filter at work again.

Laina, I have a friend who has expressed similar feelings to those expressed in your post and I'll be passing it along to her. You always hit the mark when you write - I found your blog a couple of years ago and am so glad to have rediscovered you on here.

lauriewrites
Contributing Editor, Travel and Recreation

Submitted by lauriewrites on Fri, 07/21/2006 - 13:22
 

The difference is...

My feelings as a Black woman are very similar to yours. I chose to wait until my 38th year on the planet to begin my sleeve. The reasons are the same as yours.

1) Potential parterns are more limited (as if Black women can afford to thin the herd anymore then circumstances already have).

2) I have never truly felt accepted in the Black community due to my non-stereotypical interests. Now I have branded myself as an outsider. No more trying to blend in...

3) I have known that I'm weird for quite a while, but being heavily tattooed (especially as a person who is a member of a marginalized group) says "let your freak flag fly".

Come on let's be even more socially isolated!

It's scary and empowering and disappointing at the same time walking around looking like me. As a woman that does not appeal to most Black men, and who is not taken seriously by White men (generally), and finds social barriers to meeting men who are other than Black or White choosing to go public with my walking art has been difficult.

Hey I don't harass people who don't have tattoos!!!

Submitted by mamapie68 on Tue, 08/01/2006 - 10:33
 

individuality

I think there is too much emphasis in the U.S. on "fitting in" with this group or that group. Like Barrack Obama for instance, headlines read, "is he black enough to get the black vote." What the heck does that have to do with it. Is he qualified or does he have good ideas to improve the u.s. government? These are the questions I want answered. I want more individuals. I hate carbon copied, cookie cutouts.

Submitted by sagustocox on Wed, 04/04/2007 - 10:06
 

Welcome Mamapie68!

Let your freak flag fly!!!

You'll have to send pictures of your sleeve when it's done. Thankfully I just got a part-time office job where they don't seem to care about the tattoos on my hands - which was a huge relief....

Submitted by lainad on Thu, 08/10/2006 - 04:06
 

thought provoking

I read a quote once while in a bookstore browsing a book about tattoos and I loved it so much I wrote it down.

The difference between tattooed people and non-tattooed people is that tattooed people don't care that you're not tattooed.

I have a back piece and a triquetra on my forearm. My forearm tat is likely to "spread," perhaps to a sleeve.

I got my first tattoo a year and a half ago, at the age of 45. It marked my awakening, in many ways, and a new stage in my journey.

I've always felt like an outsider, anyway.

Nice post.
Alarming Female

Submitted by Alarming Female on Wed, 04/04/2007 - 19:47
 

I'm still deciding what to get for my fifth
tattoo…

…because I want a cherry blossom, but not sure if I want a stylized one, or realistic. I know where to put it, on the inside of my right wrist, which is pretty visible. My mom will freak out like she did when I got my first four (the last, Hello Kitty, drove the most ire. "You got WHAT tattooed on you???") but in the end, it's about what I want my body to look like that counts. I've gotten railed at, since I was raised Jewish ("you won't be able to be buried in a Jewish cemetary." Big whoop. My raised-Catholic husband and I are atheists who plan on cremation anyway). Great post.

http://bip0larbear.livejournal.com

Submitted by bip0larbear on Wed, 04/04/2007 - 20:12