Hooking Up Smart

Blogging about dating and relationships through the lens of hookup culture, behavioral economics, politics, social science and life experience.

What You Look Like Is Not Who You Are

Today’s post is a different sort than I usually write. No studies, statistics, or tactical dating advice. I’ve been thinking about this idea for a while, and it keeps coming back to me ....more

Are You Sexually Objectifying Yourself?

Ever since the second wave of feminism in the 70s, we’ve heard a lot about the “male gaze,” which is defined as “the way in which the visual arts and literature depict the world and women from a masculine point of view, presenting women as objects of...more

Paying For Dates Is Getting Incredibly Awkward

A recent article in the Wall St. Journal highlights how incredibly uncivil we’ve become toward one another. I don’t know whether this is related to the climate of political partisanship, but it sounds like we’ve hit a new low in dating ....more

Men Praise Intelligent Women, But Do They Ask Them Out?

Congrats to longtime Hooking Up Smart reader Jenna Birch on her article in the July issue of Cosmopolitan! You can read...more

Self-Respect vs. Entitlement in Dating

“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion A young woman describes meeting a guy during an Uber ride. Before he got out of the car, he punched his number into her phone. She envisioned a blossoming serious relationship ....more

8 Fast But Effective Ways to Judge a Man’s Character

Dating someone who’s not compatible with you...more

Conversation As a Predictor of Relationship Success

Real Simple magazine has a good article this month about the 8 Habits of Happily Married Couples, with classic quotes illustrating the main points. My favorite is one that is often overlooked when discussing how to make relationships work: How good is the conversation? ...more

Female Achievement and Male Sincerity

How do you know if a guy is genuinely interested in you or just sucking up to get the hookup? Does he really think it’s cool that you are killing it at work, or is he just pretending to be an “enlightened male?” In a recent post I highlighted a study that showed men do […] The post Female Achievement and Male Sincerity appeared first on Hooking Up Smart ....more

There Is No Grand Passion Without Risk

Uncertainty, ambiguity, indecision, ambivalence, vagueness, doubt, unsettled, unresolved. These are the conditions that challenge our sanity in dating. Most of us are so uncomfortable with uncertainty that when we face it we’ll ask everyone we know for an interpretation ....more