The Guilty Party

I complain all the time about housework and domestic drudgery, but if you really think about it, we totally have it made compared to our counterparts from centuries past. I mean, when’s the last time you had to haul your bathwater from a well and build a fire to heat it up, or beat your laundry on a rock?...more

Save Me!

I like to watch Hoarders...more

Ugly Beauty

I dyed my hair yesterday. Yes, all you hairdressers out there who are appalled: I dye my own hair. With twelve-dollar color that I buy at Walmart ....more

Hugging a Butterfly

My nine-year-old son hugged me yesterday afternoon. Really hugged me. He wrapped his skinny arms around my waist and leaned in, resting his head peacefully against my chest ....more

The Fart at the 'Mart

As a general rule, I'm not a big fan of shopping. Don't get me wrong - if anybody wants to send me on a spree to prove just how fun the mall can be, I'm all over it like a ... like a ..... ....more

Lettuce Makes Me Sad

You know how much I enjoy watching what I eat?About as much as I'd enjoy, say, getting a Brazilian wax. Or a root canal. Or an '80s perm ....more

F-Bombin' Baby

Kids are embarrassing. Whether they're explaining to the lady at the ice cream shop that they like the colored kind because it turns their poop green, or pointing at a dude in a tie and saying "THAT GUY LOOKS LIKE SPONGEBOB!" in an outside voice, parenting brings a plethora of cringe-worthy moments.The aforementioned lovely incidents are only a couple of the ways my kids have made me want to bury my head in the sand. But most of them have come from my oldest ....more

Tree-asco 2014

I'm the kind of person who will arrange the shit out of a Christmas tree, like I'm composing a still life, trying to artfully balance the spaces between ornaments and achieve the perfect ratio of lights and tinsel. I'm a Christmas tree perfectionist. I like everything just so, and all twinkly and beautiful.But, like .. ....more

(Gingerbread) House of Horrors

Saturday morning, for reasons unknown, I woke up thinking about gingerbread.And then I thought, "A gingerbread house would be pretty cool."And then Pinterest Me and Practical Me started their internal struggle. "You've never made one!" shouted the practical side. "You don't even have a kit! ...more

Do You Wanna Build a Snowman(-like Ornament)?

I'm not one of those crafty, creative moms. I don't use my Pinterest boards to share pictures of things I've done ... I use them to pin projects that look awesome, but that I will never actually attempt ....more