Our Life

I am a mother of 3 children with Fragile X Syndrome (the world's leading cause of inherited mental impairment and autism). I am a Mormon. I am strong. I am weak. Read my blog to read about my experiences, thoughts and insights. Find out what it is like to raise 3 children with a Mental Disability.

I'm giving up! I'm not doing this anymore!

That was going through my mind this morning as Brother was screaming at me again.I say again, not because it doesn't happen often, but because it had just happened last night.Marc and I endured an escalation of aggressive emotion and verbal attack when we reminded Brother of his conditioning for Cheer at the high school gym with his peers.Brother is 6 foot 1.5 inches now, his voice has deepened, and although he is very skinny, he is solid muscle.Being screamed at by him is intimidating to say the least, but it also wears you down as a parent and caregiver.I've talked about it before that our kids, Brother especially, has such extreme anxiety of almost everything, especially social situations, that he will completely melt/fall apart/freak out to the point that an outsider would think we were either torturing him or that we were forcing him to do something he hates.When he screams at me like he did last night and this morning, I start to doubt my mother's intuition and wonder if I am pushing him too hard and that I will hinder him in some way by pushing him out of his comfort zone.Last night, after being screamed at for a solid 15 minutes... not typical teenage rant at a parent kind of screaming... more like a dying, underfed, over-worked, hormonal, emotional, disrespectful teenager ....more

The Year of Baby

NO! I am not making an announcement! Trust me.. ....more

A Turtle Destination

One day back while Marc and I were in Greece with our friends Tolis and Thomas we were driving along one day and saw a large turtle almost in the middle of the road looking as if it had been working on crossing the road to get down the hill to a grassy area. I was so excited to see this large turtle and had to get out of the car so I could see it up close. Marc jumped out of the car with me and I assumed it was so he could get a good look at it too and, maybe, a picture ....more

The Wrong-Right Doll

Sister wanted a baby doll.Trust me.We all know she wanted a baby doll.If you were a fly on the wall, you knew she wanted a baby doll.Just a tad shocking.Shocking?Ya. Shocking.Sister is a girl who started out all girlie loving pink, having her hair done, loved bows in her hair and on her dresses, pretty shoes and all things princess.Then, one day, without much warning, she became a Tomboy.No more pink.No more bows.No more princesses.No more long hair and braids with bows.I missed her little girlie self, but we learned to embrace her more tomboy-like joys.So we have spent the last 7 years getting her Legos, Marvel Comic Characters, Power Rangers, swords, guns and even a punching bag.All that background should help you understand why a few months ago when she began to obsess about a black baby boy doll, you can bet I was all over that. She began to check on Walmart.com and just HAD to have this certain doll ....more

UFO laughter

It's the last day of April!I can't let this month go by with only 2 posts... so here I am at almost 11:00 at night, one hour to go before the month is officially over.There is so much to say, but Marc is ready for bed and he now has an early morning routine so I have promised not to click away on my keyboard at night keeping him awake. So, I'll make this one quick.We made it to church today.Albeit was 10 minutes late and we took sacrament in the hallway, which was not conducive to Sister's routine, but we muddled through.Then we got in to sit at our normal bench that was so lovingly left open for us.The kids did great ....more


So, for your information or FYI, has now been upgraded to WiFi-I.Why is FYI not as hip as WiFi-I?Well, this is the digital age.And this is the funny life I live in.My kids say the funniest things without even realizing it most of the time.I'm not quite sure what causes it, but often they mix around letters or letter sounds in their words and we get some interesting combinations.Sister is most often the culprit of word regeneration."Flavioli" is...more

Deep thoughts by Rachael...

I miss this.Writing about Our Life.I have taken a break from theater to be with my family more at this time, but I fear that because of it I have let go of other things that mean a lot to me and keep me positive.I'm kind of an "all or nothing" kind of person and I really need to work on changing that. I mean, that can be a good thing, but I need to learn to accept that it is OK if I don't do it all. It's OK if I just do my best and that my best may not be some one else's idea of "best."Does that make sense?I try so hard to make others happy that I feel discouraged if they aren't happy ....more

At the Edge of Our Seats!

When I was little, about 7 or 8 years old, my dad built little wooden cradles for my sister, Jessie, and I to put our baby dolls in. I loved playing baby dolls. I loved pretending and dressing them and feeding them "food." My favorite was the bottles that gave the illusion that the milk or juice was draining out.. ....more

What Have I Learned?

So... I'm 40 years old now! What? ...more

Unexpected and Welcomed

Beautiful sunsets in January Hiking with my hubby on a spur of the moment date Baby realizing that the electric candle made into a snowman ornament made a great campfire for her ponies. Baby teasing dear friends. Going on a great snow shoe trip with my husband and my two uncles Me worrying that Sister wouldn't like my homemade Christmas gift enough and then realizing that she doesn't even believe that I made it and that it was Santa's elves who made it special just for her ....more