Foodette Reviews

Old-school oenophile and law student whiles away the hours not studying or applying to law school writing for the website Foodette Reviews. Sarcasm and snark abound. In her spare time, she enjoys tinkering with molecular gastronomy, whipping up a mean burger, and harassing her Siamese cat. 

Feast of the Senses at the James Beard House

Nobody forgets their first. Maybe it’s a cheeseburger, a lover, a car, a shitty job, or a dinner at the James Beard House. Maybe it’s beautiful or terrible or it lasts into the dregs of the night, but you don’t forget it, not easily, not in a lifetime ....more

Chobani Flip Chipotle Pineapple

Chobani, as a long-time disordered consumer of yogurt, let me be the first to gently deliver this message: knock it off. For starters, you’re making Dannon and Yoplait feel bad. They’ve only just discovered that you can make cake into a flavor for people who think cake is shameful and want to capitalize it ....more

Toast Day (Rocket Science and the 2nd Street Bakery)

Today was a toast day. I haven’t baked bread in a long time, but I also haven’t been up to the Bedfellow’s house, either, so I decided to kill two birds with one lazy stone and go up to Western Massachusetts and get some bread from a bakery in the area for breakfast. We were lucky enough to snag one of their last daily loaves before they closed and ran out and we celebrated in proper weekend style with Wilco on the record player, cold brew with coffee ice cubes, and an array of jams, syrups, and toppings for our toast.I hadn’t been to the 2nd Street Bakery, but apparently it occupies a special tear in the fabric on the universe as it’s located on 4th and L Street in Turner’s Falls, MA, which makes no logical sense ....more

Lenny & Larry’s Pumpkin Spice Protein Cookie

Confession: I am not over pumpkin spice. I know, it’s February. I should be expounding upon the next flavor of the month, like whatever post-prandial sugary delight we’re supposed to foist upon President’s Day ....more

Noosa Salted Caramel

Yogurt is swiftly becoming the new dessert. It has tried for years. Yoplait attempted flattery through mimicry, Yo-Crunch tried to fool you with Oreos, and Chobani initiated a Ted Cruz-level smear campaign on watermelon by replacing it with yogurt ....more

MTS Nutrition: Creamy Red Velvet Cake

I am officially back on the horse. I’m back at the gym, lifting to my heart’s content, and I’m gobbling protein like there’s no tomorrow. Huzzuh! ...more

Top Five Food Destinations around Miami, FL (and some of the Keys, too)

Jonas? We don’t need no stinkin’ Jonas. Or for that matter, snow ....more

Rhythm Superfoods Mango Habanero Kale Chips

Either I’m an idiot, or the kale industrial complex is pulling the veiny, tough greens over your eyes. And let me tell you, I nearly skirted the median this semester, so I’m pretty sure Big Kale is out to get you. My point is, I fought the slaw and the slaw won ....more

CTD Sports Isolicious: Fruity Cereal Crunch and Cinnamon Cereal Crunch

This review is generously brought to you by general anesthetic: making drinks pinker since this morning, after I had surgery, and rendering my words a little dumber each time. Foodette Reviews is filmed before a live studio audience, in bed. Good news, it turns out they have WordPress in hell ....more

Tea-Rrific! Limited Batch Ice Cream Brown Butter Sticky Toffee

The first review of the new year isn’t always promising. And yes, it starts with a cheat. I’ve had a bag of kale chips, coconut chips, and three different flavors of whey sitting on my counter for a week now but decided to go for the kill and suffered greatly for it.Mediocrity comes at a cost ....more
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