Sea Glass & Other Fragments

I am an adult adoptee in reunion and a parent (by way of birth and open foster-care adoption). I am a wife. I am lover of books and a connoisseur of sea glass. I am a child of the ocean, now landlocked -- a selkie who has lost her seal skin. I write about life, love, loss, and longing ... and also about things that do not begin with the letter "l."

Mothers, Plural: Mothers, None

I gave birth to one daughter and it altered my body, my heart, and my life forever. I am also raising a daughter that I didn't give birth to, and she is equally imprinted on my heart and life though it is someone else's features and traits that are imprinted in her DNA. The mother who brought me into the world left the hospital with stretch marks and empty arms but never stopped being my mother ....more

Open Adoption: The Extraordinary Ordinariness of My Extraordinary Family

Victor HabbickFreeDigitalPhotos.net It's the week of school vacation in the Northeast. My daughter is in the backseat of a car, heading south. She is squished in the backseat between her two brothers ....more

Raising My Voice for Mothers and Children

Image courtesy of sippakorn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net Today is International Women's Day. This afternoon I will be delivering a speech as part of Women's Voices Worldwide's Celebration of Speech event. The following is the transcript of my speech ....more

Five Categories of Adoptees Missing from the "Vocal Minority"

That phrase, "they don't talk about being adopted so they don't care about it." Don't use silence to dismiss thoughts someone hasn't shared.— Amanda (@AmandaTDA)...more

A Book Launch, an Interview, and a Chance to Win a Free Adoption Reunion E-Book!

I am excited to announce the publication of a new book to which I had the honor of contributing a chapter....more

Five Categories of Adoptees Missing from the "Vocal Minority"

That phrase, "they don't talk about being adopted so they don't care about it." Don't use silence to dismiss thoughts someone hasn't shared.— Amanda (@AmandaTDA) February 12, 2014 I occasionally run across a comment on the Internet that goes something like this: It's important to remember that the adoptees who write and speak out about problems in adoption are a certain type of adoptee. They don't represent the typical adoptee in the general ...more

The Post in Which I Ignore My Mother's Shushing and Talk About Race

Confession: I am one of those White liberals who wishes the world were colorblind. But it isn't. And neither am I.I wasn't colorblind as a child in the 1970s in White, White Maine when I saw her down the aisle from me in that department store ....more

Mother Unqualified: Revisiting Adoption Language

When I first started blogging one of the first posts I wrote was called “My Birth Mother Doesn’t Like the Word Birth Mother,” in which I explored the different ways my mother and I held that term. I’ve shifted significantly in my position since then. There is still a part of me that likes “birth mother,” simply because it was the word that I first learned for her ....more

Connected, Part Five: Maybe. Maybe Not.

We've almost all had the experience of walking into a room of tense people and immediately feeling our own bodies tense, or of finding someone else's joy or laughter contagious. But how far does emotional connectedness extend?When my then-foster-now-adopted daughter first moved in with us, I experienced several months of intense anxiety. In some ways, my stress was understandable; our family was undergoing a dramatic transition ....more