My Grandfather's Legacy

My grandfather was a carpenter. Not by trade, but by design. He had a workshop in the basement. There was a rocking horse in my house when I was young, and I never knew which grandchild he'd originally built it for, but I knew that Grampa made it with love. He also built my sister a dollhouse. My sister is 11 years older than me. Once she grew up and moved out, the dollhouse became mine. I loved...more

Some Friendly Advice for Amanda Bynes

Have you heard about Amanda Bynes? She makes me sad. The funny, adorable teen I remember from "What I Like About You" has been replaced with Britney 2.0. Like, umbrella-attack Britney, not "Baby One More Time" Britney. She's shaving her head, piercing her face, and starting Twitter wars with Rihanna, Courtney Love, and Jenny McCarthy... Actually, I don't mind that last part. I hate all three of ...more

How to Cure Writer's Block

I've had writer's block for almost two weeks now, and it's driving me crazy. I think I might have a solution, though... Realize that you need to experience something in order to have something to write about. Go to a parade. Try to convince your son that he should join a marching band when he’s in high school. Go home and DVR “Drum Line.” Read 20 blog posts. Find 20 subjects that you ...more

Droid vs. iPhone

The other day, my friend posted on Facebook: “thinking i need a new phone...after 3 years mine is starting to go...now do i want an iphone or a galaxy??? input anyone?” A couple of hours later, she had 52 comments. Of course. And of course a lot of them were from me, urging her to get a Galaxy. But then I started thinking about it. Droids aren’t for everyone. Some people should have iPhones. Some ...more

My Favorite Halloween Costume

It's almost summer, and you know what that means! It's time to start thinking about Halloween (if you're bonkers for Halloween like I am)! If you're a regular reader, you probably know that I love Halloween, and I love zombies. So I'm sure it wouldn't surprise you to learn that I've been a zombie for Halloween quite a few times. Halloween 2011 was a tough one. I had really time-consuming ...more

What Do I Have in Common With Puff Daddy and Katy Perry?

I’m almost 34, and I have the skin of a teenager. And by that, I don’t mean that I have a youthful glow and no crow’s feet. I mean that I have acne. I never really had acne as a teenager. It started when I was in my twenties. I went to the dermatologist and got a prescription cream, which worked fine, until I wanted to get pregnant. You can’t use it when you’re pregnant. So I made do ...more

Evil is Real (and it's Usually the Parents' Fault)

Recently, my niece posed a question on Facebook: "Evil: Does it exist? What is it? How do you define it? Why does it happen?"  As you must know by now, I'm an atheist, so I don't define evil as some red guy with horns and goat legs. Evil is a human who does not care about other humans or animals. Evil is someone who hurts others for their own enjoyment. Murderers, rapists, child abusers, ...more

Painless Vaginal Delivery is Possible!

You may or may not know that I have one child, and he was delivered through a planned c-section. Sure, I labored (unmedicated) for three hours, because nurses are bitches, but that doesn't count. You superhero vaginal birth mommies will always be bigger martyrs than me. I had a point to prove. I wanted to show you all that I could handle a vaginal delivery. The problem was, I didn't want to ...more

I Taught a Human Being to Read

I could read when I was three years old. And I mean, I could read a book. I was a really smart kid. So, of course, I assumed that my son would be reading at three. He had my genes, and he had me for a teacher. It was inevitable, right? When he was one, I would write a different letter on his chalk board every day. I'd tell him what sound the letter made. I'd list words that started ...more

A Funny Thing Happened at Mystic Aquarium

If you're a Facebook fan, you may have already heard that my Mothers' Day was rad. Here's some more on that... Mystic Aquarium in Mystic, Connecticut invited some bloggers to come check them out on Mothers' Day weekend. Of all the museums, zoos and aquariums I've been to (and that's a lot), Mystic Aquarium is my absolute favorite. And they wanted me to go there for free? Um, yes please. We ...more