Pluto Booted, Family Pleads for Journalists

Pluto is no longer a planet. Leading astronomers says under historic new guidelines the solar system now has eight planets.

Sister Toldjah writes, "You know, just because Pluto doesn’t meet all the qualifications for ‘planet status’ doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be a planet. I think Pluto is being discriminated against by the overly-aggressive International Astronomical Union. Pluto should be given ‘victim’ status accordingly - if that happens, this could become a key issue in the fall elections, as the Democrats would have the chance rally around yet another helpless ‘victim’…�

Katie says, “Pluto, how could you be so insensitive? How could you parade yourself around as the smallest, most distant part of my fragile reality? Do you know how much you meant to me? Will you ever know what I sacraficed for you? Actually, I've sacraficed nothing. But still, I'm bummed. What's next, are things going to start falling up?? Is Newton to be distrusted as well? Where have all the astronomists of yore gone?�

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CNN reports the brother of one of the two Fox News journalists abducted in Gaza City August 14 pleaded with the kidnappers to release them, saying the journalists have no power to fulfill any demands.

Ken Centannie said in a videotaped statement, "By now, you know they cherish life. They have no power. They are not deal makers. They are not politicians, and they have no authority. Our brother and his colleague are in Gaza to report your story -- nothing more and nothing less.�

The wife of cameraman Olaf Wiig made a similar statement.

JoAnn writes, “Now I know what you are thinking: just where did this ‘holy Jihad brigades’ come from? Well, they are the same outfit as ‘al-Qaeda in Iraq’, ‘al-Qaeda in the UK’ ‘al-Qaeda in Spain’ ‘the al-Qaeda group for Jihad in Europe’, ‘the Jihad Brigades of holiness’ ‘the holy Brigades of Jihadiness’ ‘the holy moly brigades of Islamic Islaminess’, ‘the al-Qaeda group for holy hullabaloo in America’ ‘the Palestinian Jihadi group for Holy Jihad in Jihadilandia’ and of course, who could forget ‘Allah's Holy shi'ite Islamic army of Mohammed for Holy Islamic Jihad against the unholy infidel pigs.’ In short, they don't exist, except in the twisted imaginations of Israeli, American and British intelligence agents.�

Contributing Editor Erin Kotecki Vest also blogs at Queen of Spain and DotMoms.