I agree with your history professor- I prefer "Dr. so-and-so" or my first name. I HATE HATE HATE it when students call me "Mrs. so-and-so" I am married, but don't have my husband's name, so it seems particularly inappropriate to be addressed this way. I also feel that if students want to be formal and not use my first name, then they should at least use my proper title. On the syllabus for my 100-level class, I specifically tell them NOT to call me "Mrs" and which title I prefer (and I mention it in class the first day). I still get people calling me "Mrs" occasionally and it just makes me cringe. What do they think? Some random person off the street is teaching their courses at a university? hello- we all have PhDs!

As a seventh science grade teacher, my students do not usually call me by my first name. I do not mind giving my first name, and most of them would not dream of calling me Molly. For years, I made this huge deal about how to pronounce my name. If they could not pronounce the name in a way that I saw fit, they should call me Mrs. D., which most of the students did. As the years passed, I have mellowed. Some students call me Miss D. or Miss D...; others recognize that I am married and call me Mrs. D... Now, I answer to all of these names without comment. Yes, I know that the Ms. title is the politically correct title and similiar to the Mr. title.

As I write this, if the world were different, I think that all titles could or should be eliminated. Any title Dr. Mrs. Mr. Ms. is intended to separate the titled from the untitled. However, I will not begin classes on Monday morning instructing the students to call me Molly. My co-workers and principal would be distressed if the students called any of us by our first names. So for now, I will comply with the titling customs of my workplace community.

I've never allowed my students to call me by my first name (after all, they are only 9 years old) but I haven't cared that much whether they call me Miss Denny, Ms. Denny, or even Mrs. Denny (although I'm not married.) I guess even for college I think students shouldn't address an instructor by their first name, but maybe I'm old fashioned.

I have a new principal and she wants every adult to be addressed with a title before their name by students. If it's someone like the custodian who students are used to calling Jerry, she wants them to call him Mr. Jerry. It's generated a lot of discussion and it remains to be seen how students will make the transition.

Kalyn Denny
Kalyn's Kitchen

Names-of-respect are so ingrained that now, when friends' parents say, "Please, call me Laura", I can't. And just yesterday I wrote to my high school home ec teacher. Can I call her Joyce, as she asks? No Way. It's Mrs C, just as she was then, even though, as these things go, when we first met, she was a Year One teacher so is maybe only seven or so years older. And I have to say, I love the southern-style Mr First Name, Mz First Name for adults addressing any adult.

...and a colleague who works with the professors on a professional basis daily, I typically call my professors by their first names. I never do this until they request it, however. Even though we are colleagues (I work in a department at the university that works closely with faculty members and, in my case, I'm assigned to the college that I'm attending as a student), I call the professor "Dr. so-and-so" until directed otherwise (either through email or in person).

As it stands, there are very few that I call "Dr. so-and-so" at this point - and that's by their lead.

My advisor and I have a great rapport and I call her by her first name. The assistant chair of the department and I speak easily and I call him by his first name. The chair and I don't know one another as well and I call him "Dr. insertname".

My brother, who is ABD and a clinical instructor in a different college within the same university as me, has his students call him by his first name. He says it encourages more open discussions and growth.

I think it's dependent upon the relationship and the comfort you have with students. I think it also depends on what sort of environment you want to encourage.

By the time I get my doctorate, I'll be an old lady (heh). It's my goal, it's my achievement. But I'll probably still be Dawn. That's who I like being.

dawn m. armfield
life inchoate

Kayln, I LOVE that your students must now call adults with a title before their names. To me it is a matter of respect. I do not buy into that philosophy of "empowering" kids by allowing them to address adults informally. I think this does a disservice to children (no, the power is NOT equal and pretending it to be so is just confusing and dishonest) and infantilizing to the adults.

In part my reaction is a cultural one. As an African American my relatives and more distant ancestors have had to fight for the right to be treated with respect, and naming and titles are a big part of that.

As for higher ed settings: I am almost ready to defend my dissertation, and one thing I am certain of is that any future undergrads I teach will address me as Dr. I do not have any hang-ups about the new power I will have as a prof--Yes the university setting is hierarchical and I am higher than my students. They should show that proper respect--but also, know that they will have the benefits of my increased power, experience, and knowledge.

My future graduate students, since I will be trying to socialize them into the profession, I will give the choice to call me Dr. or my first name.

But in general, all this "democratization" is a joke, and reveals more about our hang-ups with power than a true desire to be "open" or employ "feminist pedagogy" or any thing else. As women, especially, we need to get over this.

Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast

Wow - this is a very interesting question and one that I am surprised to realize that I never had when I was in grad school.

I was raised to never, ever address an adult by their first name alone. And I had a tough time addressing faculty by their first name and always called them Professor Lastname unless they specifically asked me to do otherwise (interestingly they rarely did - I guess it was that whole hierarchy reinforcing thing).

At UCLA the students were pretty hip to the whole grad-students-aren't-real-professors thing in my department and they all called me by my first name. It never occurred to me to ask them to refer to me with any kind of title but it would have been great because the respect for the greater knowledge, education and authority would have been a good thing.

Thinking about this now - I'm with Professing Mama - insist on being referred to as "Dr." - it does make a difference and it is respect you've earned.

That was the norm for what I called my professors. It was usually "Professor X" or if it was a sessional lecturer "Dr". I worked for a few professors and would call them by their first name in the office but in the classroom or seminar it was always "Professor". I became friends with one of my profs and I called him by his first name outside the classroom but never in it.

Getting a PhD is a lot of work and those who take that track have earned the title of Dr. Getting tenure is even more work and they earn the title of Professor. It's a way of respecting their work.

In high school there was one teacher we always called Mr. Nick - a shortened version of his last name. It was often shortened further to just Nick. When other teachers would address him with his first name it would always confuse me for a few seconds because I always thought of him as Nick.

Sassymonkey, Sassymonkey Reads, and Sassymonkey Eats

I follow the same rules of naming that Dawn uses: "Doctor" until permitted to use otherwise. Except that most people at my new university seem to go by first names, and I tend to sound really formal.

I was really interested in Professing Mama's thoughts on the "power of the Doctor." When I was an UG, we got a new professor who was young and female, and who had just gotten her PhD. On our first day of class, she emphasised very firmly that she was "Dr. [Lastname]," and not [Firstname]. We called everyone else in the deparment (almost all of them male) by the title of "Dr." and so I couldn't understand the big deal. Now I wonder if I'll end up doing the same thing.

These are all great comments. I agree that children should call their K-12 teachers by their last names because that's the time when children should be learning respect for adults.

I can see all sides of the debate over what to call faculty in higher ed. Who knows how I'll feel when I've actually completed the Ph.D. and can be called Doctor? (Chances are I'll even make my husband call me Dr. M-B for a while!) ;)

Leslie

BlogHer Contributing Editor, Research and Academia
Proprietor, The Clutter Museum and Museum Blogging

Re: Chances are I'll even make my husband call me Dr. M-B for a while

That's a different story altogether: Anything goes in the naming department in the context of relational spice games as long as the names (like any acts that may involve them) are between consenting adults... LOL!

Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast

I call my professors doctor or professor whichever applies, I still call my advisor doctor even though I've been requested to use her first name.
It feels too strange to do otherwise.

cooper