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With the TSA and British Airway's crackdown on gel substances on flights, a person gets to wondering. What about, you know, implants? Or those Wonderbras you can fill with water? Or gel bras? What about women who wear prosthetics, post mastectomy? There's a lot of noise but not much by way of definitive answers.
I started with the TSA web site:
To ensure the health and welfare of certain air travelers the following items are permitted.
- Gel-filled bras and similar prostethics
Then I called British Airways. They weren't much help, actually. When I asked the gal on the line what the deal was with gel filled bras, I got a resounding silence.
Then, "Um, if they're gel filled, they should pack them in their luggage."
"What about women who wear prosthetics?"
"Um."
"You know, after they've had a mastectomy?"
"Um, uh, I guess they could get a note from their doctor... yeah, saying that there's a medical reason they need them."
"A note from their DOCTOR? Uh, okay. thanks."
Because notes from the doctor are always official, as any school kid know, right? I picked up the phone to call the TSA, but I was daunted by the 45 minute hold time.
The Huffington Post ran a blurb on this question about a week ago. Things get snarky as expected in the comments:
And exactly HOW is security going to find out if one is wearing a gel bra? Are we going to have official squeezers now?
How 'bout a diaphram (with gel) for a mile-high encounter? Too much hairspray? Too think makeup, overdone mascara, eyeliner or lipstick?
--
The thought of having to fly flat-chested without my gel-bra upset me greatly, until I realized that soon we're going to have to fly naked and sedated anyhow.
There have been a few updates since the story broke. From the Contra Costa Times:
You also can board the plane wearing a gel-filled bra or prosthetic devices. You must pack those gel-filled insoles for your shoes in checked luggage, however, and you must pack gel capsules, along with any other liquids, pastes, gels or creams.
And from Capitol Hill Blue:
Such passengers are urged to pack their bras in their checked baggage, but also advised that those with "medical gel" prosthetics will be allowed through security checkpoints. The agency says it is "reaching out" to women's medical associations to spread the word about the policy.
"We recognize it's a sensitive issue," said TSA spokesman Darrin Kayser.
Boy bloggers love this story for the obvious jokes about screening jobs and flip remarks about how they, too, will pack their gel bras in their checked luggage, but women have a more personal take on it, of course.
A true story from the Lipstick Chronicles spells it out for you:
You wanna know what humiliation is? Humiliation is having your bag ripped apart on a Southwest flight while every passenger in the plane you'll be traveling on marches by, examining your underwear. Geesh. Thanks, Southwest.
From Blonde Sense:
How are they planning to enforce this? Maybe flyers should all be subject to cavity checks and then fly naked?
Your Mom Goes to Law School imagines the search scenarios and asks the obvious.
And even if they do randomly search some women who happen to have gel bras, how do they figure it out? I don't care what you think is constitutional, George Bush does NOT have the right to give TSA employees permission to feel me up.
I'd be interested in knowing exactly how the TSA or BAA plans to screen for those wearing gel filled bras. And what their protocol for resolving the issue is once they discover a passenger is wearing one. Are they going to take the offending bra away? Are they going to confiscate your auntie's prosthetic? (Ladies, it may be time to switch to foam.)
A note from your doctor? I don't think so. Maybe I should continue to hold with the TSA?
And FYI, I can't take my ukulele, either. My career as a stacked uke player in a traveling Vaudeville show is so over.
Pam blogs about travel and other adventures at Nerd's Eye View. Stay tuned for her adventures from Heathrow.
