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Sparkle (3)
There has been a lot of talk about bullying lately and I feel like I need to chime in and share my experiences in hopes that it can help others. I have spent many years dealing with bullies for one reason or another and I am just so thankful that I have a wonderful loving family that made me realize how valuable I truly am so I didn't give in to the depression or desperation that can sometimes come with the bullying.
All too often these days you hear stories of a child -- yes a CHILD -- who has taken their own life because they were bullied.
They were hurt so badly by another person with words or actions that they no longer felt the need to be alive. I cannot even imagine what that child had gone through to come to that point. I don't want to ever imagine that one of my children would ever get to that point. I know that I went through a lot, but somehow I was able to rise above it and carry on. I do not want my children to have the same fate as me and I willingly point out bullies and how to not associate with them. I usually leave it up to Hubby to talk to the parents because I would just flip out if I had to discuss it with the parents -- the actions of their children. Hubby has a great way with words (yet another reason I love him so much).
As a child I was, and still am, quite shy. I never wanted to rock the boat, I never wanted to be different. But, I was apparently. I was either too blonde or too tall, too chubby or too slim. My parents weren't divorced or I didn't get good grades. I loved funky shoes, some things never change, and I loved to be me. Apparently others didn't quite like me so much and they made a point of taunting me, teasing me, calling me names and pushing me around. I was pretty good at ignoring them at school, but I also had an older, much more popular sister at school with me, so when the going got really tough, I sought her out.
When I look back now at the kids who made my life miserable, I know they were hurting even more than I was. Most of them bullied because they were jealous. I had something they didn't. I had a loving family. I had a Mom at home after school. I had an older sister (and two younger). I had food on the table and clothes that fit me. I could go on with my list, but the truth is there are too many reasons why kids do what they do. And the fact is they need to be taught that it is not okay.
One of my biggest bullies in grade school (I haven't even gotten to later in life) met up with me again one day; I was 18, he was 19 and dating a coworker of mine. I had laughed and told her how he used to taunt me in class and on the playground. He actually came to my work, embarrassed, hanging his head in shame and apologized to me with all his heart. That act alone made a huge difference in my life. He felt badly for his behavior as a 12 year old. He felt badly that he hurt me. He was going through his own issues at home and acting out at school. He was one of the youngest of many children and there was just not enough time for each of the kids so he acted out. I am not saying what he did was right back when he was 12 but what he did right was own up to it at a young age of 19. He had become the Man his parents had dreamed he would become. And for that I was very thankful.
Somehow, the bullying seemed to escape me in High School. I grew a backbone, and gained a few pounds and my Sister had lots of friends who were willing to look out for me. But, I watched several of my friends be bullied and I did whatever I could to stop it or kept them from finding out about it. High School wasn't too bad, and for that I am thankful.
Then came the working years. You think you
