Not Blogging About It

As a blogger I often find myself incapable of not publicly disclosing information. This has gotten me into trouble multiple times, and I have had more than my fair share of Facebook drama. Sometimes it's not what I say but who I talk about (my husband many times) or people who think I'm referring to them (and I probably am) and don't like the tone, statement, or in one case, the picture on my blog. 

My sister told me to just stop posting my thoughts so publicly, but I told her, "I can't!" My blog is a life force that needs to be fed. Sometimes I think that my community, my readers, you people, need me to talk about things. Sometimes foolishness (sexism!) needs to be called out! Or sillyness like Fat Ho Burgers. When I had a miscarriage last year, I went very public and received a lot of support from readers and strangers. It was a tremendous relief to know that all the crazy stuff I was experiencing other women before me had experienced as well. And blogging has led to further freelance opportunities, opinion editorial opportunities, and frequent stints on KRLD radio. You see, lots of people WANT to know what I think or simply feel that it's something a larger audience would benefit from hearing. (And some of them even pay for it!)

But the longer you blog the more you realize that this audience of mine, while friendly, isn't just my friends or family. You're freakin' strangers! And I'm exposing myself, my pictures and thoughts to a public at large I don't know at all. I would not normally walk around in public just tellin' people my business and my personal drama. So why am I doing it online?

I am, unlike some, cautious about what I write (except when I'm not and then I don't even know what sets off some family member to get pissed at me!) I do understand that it is a reflection of me and that the evidence, the posts, will follow me for a lifetime. Do I want that? I think every blogger should ask themselves that question. Miss Sexy Talk at 24 may regret posting her escapades in a train station when she's 32 and up for a promotion and someone finds her blog post. It has happened. I've always kept my blog clean(ish) and made sure what I put online I'd defend in person and would cause no harm to my personal image or reputation or career. That has meant deleting images of me I think may be suggestive (often people will tag me in a picture I wasn't aware of and post it. I quickly untag myself.)

As my blog is about to turn two years old, I find that I don't HAVE to let my audience know everything in my life. Yes, a blogger should share and share often. What I am dealing with privately (like a big job interview) may affect the frequency of my blogs, the tone sometimes, but I've decided when I WANT to share something I will. I don't HAVE to. And that's OK. I think it's important for a blogger to open up to their audience: provide a picture, a contact email and background information. I hate the anonymous people. They give all of us a bad name. And a blogger should have a voice: you need to know what I think, my experience, my reasoning. But you don't have to know everything about me. And I don't need to know everything about you. It's what makes our relationship work.

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