Not as hard as I thought....

OK so I guess with the title I spoke too soon. I put all of my fertility aids up for sale. When I first did it I was "ok" but I sat down to write this blog and just started to cry. It's just so odd. Last September I was running to a Walgreens on the Las Vegas strip bc I had left my basil body thermometer somewhere and I just couldn't function without it. My life revolved around waking up taking my temp then peeing on my clear blue easy monitor test stick. Day after day after day. WOW I peed a lot huh? lol  I must admit I don't miss the stress of making sure I wake up at the same time everyday to temp and to pee. What I do miss is the hope. The hope of a new life. With the economy the way it is right now isn't the time to have a baby anyway, right? I say that to make myself feel better. I say that to make myself not feel like I'm less of a woman. When your body can't do the simple things that women are supposed to do it makes your question your womanhood. So here I sit typing and crying. (harder than it sounds lol). It's for the best tho. The fertility items help but they also stress me out and make me sad when I don't get the reading that I hoped for. It totally sucks when you don't have anyone around you that you can sit down with and cry on their shoulder and have them actually understand. At least I have many women in cyber space who understand what I am going through and that does mean a lot to me.

 

I'm gonna go watch Sunday's desperate housewives.

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