Not an Ideal Match

The first stage of grief when a long-term relationship ends is giddiness. Or maybe that's me. I became single and ready to mingle. Take me out! Buy me a drink! Set me up, people! Except, it then struck me how difficult it would be to meet anyone when you never leave the house and am needed by three children who are much more important.

So I signed up for a free trial with match.com.

I tried to sell myself like a used car in a classified ad without sounding excruciatingly lame, uploaded a picture, and skimmed through the selection of 30-40something men on the prowl for 19 year old girls. I was feeling a lot like Diane Lane in Must Love Dogs with less perk and without any of the cute John Cusacks.

There was one guy, however, who caught my attention. I suppose it was mutual, because he messaged me and asked for a date. I accepted the offer, albeit postponed, as I was then trying to get over a late-winter sickness. Not an ideal first impression. We began a correspondence over Facebook chat in the meantime, because that's the hottest way to flirt these days if you're 15. Where it was brought up that he was vegan.

"As in vegan-vegan?", I asked, because I guess there's more than one kind.

Without ever meeting this man, I tried to picture what any future together would be like. And I couldn't. It seemed so bland without real ice cream, cheese, or pizza. I was a vegetarian for about 3 months in high school before the thought of a chicken sandwich brought me back around. I know it takes a lot of discipline to stick with. But celery and soy are not for me. Or my kids. I have a hard enough time putting together a menu we all can agree on as it is. You could say I don't need to change my habits for anyone, but inhaling a cheeseburger in front of a guy eating tofu just seems awkward.

Suffice to say, our brief fling ended before my cold did and I cancelled the free trial just as soon. I wasn't ready, anyway. The next stage of grief set in, known as reality. If nothing else, it made me even more aware of what I want. And that is a guy who'll eat a cheeseburger. And ice cream. Preferably resembling John Cusack.

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