A few weeks ago my mother called out of the blue just to chat. My mother - actually neither of my parents for that matter - is not a person who likes to make casual conversation with me. I come from a long line of awkward talkers. So she called to shoot the breeze and then jumped into the meat and potatoes of her needs. She hemmed and hawed and finally asked that I call a few people to find out whether or not they are hiring because Garrett, my younger brother, needs a job.

But why G, needed a job was perplexing since he lives with my mother and he's in college and last I checked she fed him at least once a day. But then it dawned on me that G, my wittle baby brudder, would actually be graduating and after being resuscitated (I remember when he learned to tie his shoes! I'm still amazed that he can read and write!) I agreed to help. Possibly because I know my mother well enough to know that she doesn't want a 6'4" 250lb male free loading. Also there's that whole thing with the health insurance and I don't know if you've heard but y'all, getting a doctor in these here parts is mighty expensive.

I could go on and on and on as I have over the days, about how I find it unfathomable that my teeny tiny brudder is being allowed to graduate. I could wax poetic about the type of person he's become. The person who triple majors and enjoys WEB DuBois while I sit around reading People. But instead I'm left rigid in fear because dude needs to find a job. And quick. I'm simultaneously being all casual and blasé about it as he applies to Best Buy because apparently they provide health insurance. The other more practical side of my brain is freaking the hell out for him because HE HAS TO FIND A JOB. A real job. And if I remember correctly, from that whole six week period between graduating and the day I first say in my cubicle and wept tears of joy, well that period is about as enjoyable as a cinder block between the eyes. Of course, that's only what I remember of it because I preferred to stay consistently liquored up, you know, to stave off the pain.

I'm far enough removed that I can sit back and give some sort of half-assed advice about what it's like to walk across that stage and want to stop time because this cannot possibly be happening. When you're 21 or 22 you hear your name being called and for me, well I was praying that there would be some sort of rift in the space-time continuum and then I said a little prayer that I would not be forced out of my nicely built world of comfort, sparkly ponies and knowing that I would eat at least three times a day. It's something greater than the knowledge aspect, a lot of people are book smart and the ability to recite Adam Smith is a nice quality but it's there's this huge thing that is happening. This one thing that kept from running across the stage naked screaming FREEDOM! It's the personal responsibility for everything that happens next after walking a mere 10 feet. It's fear of the unknown. Of making these huge decisions while trying to figure out the right career path after everything leading up to that one moment of diploma retrieval is driven by what one aspires to be, there's the part upon realizing that it might not happen. I only remember that fear now that I'm so far removed. As I sit in my cushy office with my cush salary for the cushy job that I've always wanted as I contemplate my very cushy first world problem of what kind of vehicle with four wheel drive I'd like to purchase.

Though I would like to tell my brilliant baby brudder that all will be well and he will not end up homeless or unemployed for the rest of his natural life, I can't because he won't listen because this whole not having a job thing sucks and sucks the life out of a person. Though momentary, the whole job/money/career path of possible doome thing isn't something that is given fair warning. When graduation arrives, speakers and faculty and parents like to say bullshit like you'll do great! You'll go far! You can be whatever you want to be and your future is bright! They neglect to mention the minor caveat that you might end up in some thankless awful job photocopying press releases and contemplating tossing yourself off the nearest bridge. They don't say that this thankless job could last for years and your boss could be the dumbest person on Earth. No one says, "You're gonna be one broke mofo for like 10 years" or "Living paycheck to paycheck builds character!" or "Even though you hate this job and this has absolutely nothing to do with what you really want out of life, you have to pretend to be happy or risk living under an overpass!" No one tells you about health insurance or 401(K)s or how having no savings feels like you're suffocating. Hallmark doesn't have a card for College graduates that says, "Now you know why adults are miserable. Welcome to Hell!"

I don't want to scare my brother or his fellow graduates into thinking that their lives will suck from here on out. Because they won't. They will fall and falter and be incredibly unsure. There will be moments where there is literally no money whatsoever and the choice between rent and food will be an actual conundrum. There will be those moments of coming to grips with the sad fact that the perfect job with six figures, an assistant and the company car, might not come to fruition for quite sometime. There will also be the moment when what was once the most perfect job ever in life might not be all that so plans might change. Then some know it all 24 year old just three years out of college will try to sell some clichés on how it gets better, promise. But it won't get better that quickly and it's an easy case of being on the other side of the fence. The side where things seem so much more stable - though one should remember that absolutely nothing is for certain and let us now pray that I still get paid on Friday. It's not perfect but it's that confidence that comes when allowing things to come and go and build while somewhat confident that though things aren't perfect they're just fine. And that 24 year old know it all will tell you about looking upon those poor, defenseless graduates thinking about how they're such suckers. But if they wait it out, just a little while longer, it will get better. Especially since after being drunk and unemployed things really can't get that much worse.

And for the first time ever I can say hoo boy, was all that thankless crap worth it. Here's to living paycheck to paycheck, never calling the boss a dumbass out loud and not getting puketastically inebriated at the company Holiday party.

More poignant advice for recent college graduates:

Sense to Save advises graduates on money

Career Super Star gives advice to his niece

And Jennie S. Bev discusses PJ O'Rourke's LA times Opinion Piece on Commencement Advice.

Heather B. has been writing extensively about the really 'awesome' time that she's had since college at No Pasa Nada.